Catharsis of my Contrived Mind

Yippieeeeee

2010-03-03T19:55:00.000-05:00

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy we got married :)

Catharsis

2008-12-24T18:23:00.004-05:00

I believe what I am about to do has been done on many occasions before, in many more grander, wilder ways. But I also believe never before has it stood for anything more important, more precious and more beautiful than it will now. Best of luck :)

LOVE

2008-11-03T18:04:00.000-05:00

With every passing night and day
Love unknowingly whispers you away
From the perfect person you knew yourself to be
It brings out the jagged edges
It makes a stranger out of you
One you have always known but only just knew
You can only be as bad or good as love will let you be
But in the end it makes you a better you and me a better me

WAR

2008-06-25T19:51:00.000-04:00

A fistful of memories
A lifetime full of family and friends
A prized abode called home
LOST
A wrethched life and some hollow pride
GAINED
Who said all is fair in WAR

Bas yun hi :)

2008-04-24T21:16:00.001-04:00

Ek din maine mujhse kaha
Hota agar mera bhi koi falsafa
Kya main hota falak par ek chamakta sitara
Ya ek aam patjhad ka patta
Kya main baadal ki tarah garajta
Ya sookhi duaaon ke liye barasta
Yun hota to aisa hota
Yun hota to kaisa hota

Sleep over it .........

2008-03-20T19:21:00.000-04:00

Most of us go to sleep their heads full of problems and issues in their lives. Some of us wake up all ready to take on these problems head on while the other half wake up hoping that somehow these problems have vanished magically. Whether you are the former or the latter critically separates all of us as individuals into what the world defines as optimists or cynics, fighters or quitters, leaders or followers.

Frozen

2008-03-16T20:26:00.000-04:00

He knew he was standing on thin ice
He stared at the deep and beautiful expanse of blue
He wondered if he should break the ice
May be he could do without falling in love

IF ..........

2008-02-27T18:56:00.002-05:00

If you've never felt on top of things
Go figure whether it may be just perspective
If you've lived your life on other's convictions
Go find yourself a conviction to live
If you've been pushed around all along
When its time to push go give it a shove
If you are love lorn
Go fall in love
If you are lonely
Go be one with your favorite song
If you have wasted your life chasing all things that gleam
It's never too late go live your real dream

The Great Indian debate

2007-12-28T14:46:00.000-05:00

Like all great ideas this blog topic for this blog post dropped right into my head as I was showering today morning a little dejected after checking up the scores for the Ind-Aus test match going on in Melbourne. While the prospects didn’t look too bright I pondered over a number of burning questions that have been plaguing Indian cricket since time immemorial. And that’s when I figured out that I didn’t need to look no further but into my own days of playing cricket in the crowded by lanes of India while growing up in Delhi. Indian cricket has long been looking to answer two questions which apparently are holding us back from stepping up to the next level and challenge Australia on a consistent basis. these are the lack of a genuine all rounder in the team since the days of Kapil Dev and the seeming inability of our batsmen to be bad runners between the wickets referring to look for boundaries as opposed to stealthily stolen singles while building their innings. Now if all of you who have played cricket in India would mind conjuring up a quick flashback I am sure it would bring up memories of playing up 6, 8 or 10 over a side games with 6-8 people of each teams in small grounds, narrow roads or small compounds etc. The time for playing was limited to a few hours depending on when the scorching sun would relent in summers and when light would permit in the winters. Most of these contests were run filled entertainers barring a genuine quickie or extremely gifted spinner on either of the teams. As the number of people was always too many the batting spots were always at a premium with almost everyone wanting to bat first and also higher up the order lest they miss out their chance. Batting was always about the big lofted shots as they fetched quick rewards in these compressed one dayers so big hitters were always liked by their captains and pushed up the batting order. Also taking singles was never an option by choice as it meant loss of strike which you then wouldn’t know when you would get. So singles were preferred only on the last balls of the over and this has always been the Indian mindset to batting. Also ever team had defined bowlers as in India everyone seemed to be a great batsman in their own right. So while the bowlers were fixed they never got early batting spots in order to be fair to everyone playing the game. this in effect led to all the bowlers never really getting a chance to develop their batting as they never got a chance to bat early on due to the sheer number of people playing in a single game thus leading to underdeveloped all rounders in India.

I think these this mentality has someway or the other has seeped through and it is in part due to this population of 1 billion that we are not able to produce a team 11 world beaters from this population of 1 billion :)

Another passing thought

2007-12-01T14:29:00.000-05:00

You can make whatever you want to of your life, however you are strongly advised against checking the 'Complaint Register' and 'Bitter Pill' options.

I salute your genius ... once again

2007-11-21T16:50:00.000-05:00

Being able to express an event, recollections, memories or even one's emotions using words have always fascinated me. Its a skill that comes easily to many, they do it with the minimal of words or with a magical weave of lyrical poetry or tugging slowly at your heart strings till you feel one with the creator and are forced to let out a gasp of appreciation for them. Gulzar has always been at the top of the pile of such people for me. It is quite fascinating how he is equally proficient at both Hindi and Urdu and how he is able to play with the words concocting a vivid and evocative picture at time at times while also being able to simply floor you with his imaginative use of similes and commonplace words. I sometimes wonder if such people have it within them right from the time they decide to invest their career in pursuit of such a profession or whether they actually get so good at it after an iterative process of trial and error and practice. Whatever it is, it makes me feel so small to read anything written by this genius and jealous as I read his creations. If ever I was to able to pen even a single line that he has written in his long and illustrious career I would never ever pen a single line again referring to go out on a high aka George Costanza :)

Fans of Gulzar might be able to relate better to this post but those who wish to explore his genius further should listen to his latest selection of poems he has penned for the movie DusKahaniyaan that can accessed here. A special mention needs to be made for the last poem on the page titled 'Tere Utaare Hue Din' that will make you inexplicably all warm and nostalgic.

Another new soundtrack that deserved special mention is Taare Zameen Par that has lyrics by Prasoon Joshi, the man behind the thought provoking lyrics of rang De Basanti. While he is still not in the league of Gulzar his style of writing still has a lot of innocence that makes it endearing and affable, check it out asap.

Life's good

2007-11-04T09:23:00.000-05:00

A forced relocation has taken me away from the comforts of my home in New Jersey for about 2 years, has kept me busy for the good part of the last 2 months. Blogging has unfortunately been one of the first victims as a result of the paucity of time coupled with the inexplicable urge to pen a blockbuster comeback blog :). Needless to add people looking for one need read no further and revert to the comforts of more illustrious bloggers. Before the move a lot of concerns were raised about how receptive Kentucky would prove to a non American especially compared to the melting pot of nationalities and cultures tat NJ is, but from whatever I have seen in the past one month that I have been here they were completely unfounded. People here are laid back and more warm if anything always ready to lend an ear and a helping hand. Its definitely different from the fast paced city life I was used to but its definitely a nice welcome change to be able to hang back and relax, as if life gives you a second and a half for every second you used to have. Barring a few issues with my movers, I am already loving my new workplace, I love the vast expanses of my new house in Cincinnati and also have been fortunate enough to catch my first NFL game at the Bengals stadium. I feel refreshed and hope to be more frequent at blogging from now on, hopefully all previous visitors of this blog havent given up on me just yet and I can catch you guys around the comment section.

Once upon a time ...........

2007-09-12T19:49:00.000-04:00

Feeling the wind running through your hair
Those I Spy sessions with those monsters under the bed
Humming songs with words that didn't really make any sense
Jumping into the choicest dirtiest rain puddles
Drawing on car windows with those little fingers
Floating those imperfect boats into those perfect water puddles
Those sun burnt evenings when we looked up into the sky
And wondered how it would feel to be little children no longer

First date

2007-07-26T21:39:00.000-04:00

I guess it was meant to be
Just a little meeting over coffee
And sure enough it started off innocently
A warm hello and a hesitant hug greeted
A lunch interspersed by stolen glances oft repeated
Soon enough the words came a lot easier
Time was soon forgotten between these two strangers
They talked deep into the night
Beneath the beautiful moonlit white
Of course there was so much to catch up on
Before they realized it was almost dawn
Unfortunately they had to go their own ways
Hopes of another meeting their minds chase
As they drove back all they thought
Was that a dream or reality
Not realizing it was a part of a plan
I guess it was meant to be

Another passing thought

2007-07-17T11:25:00.001-04:00

Patience is a virtue that you don't have unlimited reserves of unfortunately. So be very careful and picky in whose company you wish to use it up in.

More work lessons

2007-07-11T11:12:00.001-04:00

A corporate shakedown is never a pleasant experience. Its swift, it's ruthless and leaves a bad aftertaste and I reiterate it's not pleasant. A lot of friends are lost a lot of emotions stirred and you just know somehow that things will just never be the same again. You stand in the midst of ruins still waiting for the dust to settle down to know who all still stand to fight another day. You are hoping to see everyone but you have the sinking feeling that you wont. Everyone who shaped your nascent career, everyone who was kind enough to overlook your inexperience and lend you a helping hand, everyone who channeled your brains and energy into meaningful directions. Somewhere there is also an empty feeling because you feel you have not done enough to deserve to be still standing because you were standing a few days back of shoulders of those who now lie wounded, victims of a situations that's beyond their hands and not a reflection of their individual performance. It sure hurts but it's a moment to savor and to reflect of how unfair life might be, a moment to be thankful that it isn't your moment to discover that right now.

I am baaaaakkkk

2007-06-27T09:07:00.000-04:00

Coming back from a long hiatus to your blog is always a tricky situation. Its almost like having to shoulder the burden of expectations of all those people who have visited your blog in the meantime hoping to see something new and returning disappointed to see the same post. Thankfully in my case this number is not a very big one but I do kinda feel the pressure of having to write something really meaningful, moving or even funny on my comeback post. You feel the eyes of many peeled on this new post almost like critics have theirs on the comeback of some movie star after a self announced retirement. Except that in my case I have never been a big star of the blogosphere and neither did I ever announce my retirement. My self induced hibernation was borne out of lack of ideas and motivation to pen a post. Anyways enough about that, this post came about as a result of concerned enquiries at my change of status on orkut. It didn't take much long for congratulatory messages to start pouring in very strangely from some who knew about my girlfriend all along. Some even bravely ventured to enquire if and when i was getting married? While on one hand I was mildly amused by the concern for my well being from unexpected quarters I really didn't catch how changing my status from single to committed translated to getting married or even deserving of a congratulations. Either people underestimated my ability to have a girlfriend or considered me incapable of staying committed to her ;). Whatever it is I must than you for all the love, I am touched and also thank you for helping me break out of my reverie and kick start my blog again :)

Socha na tha

2007-05-17T18:59:00.000-04:00

We sit comfortably over a happy past
Seperated by a space that's only physical
Looking into each other's future
Silences being their own words
Silences interrupted only by sweet nothings
I look longingly and wonder
Is this really my life or just a perfect picture of it

Get dressed for success

2007-05-02T17:49:00.000-04:00

The following questions were raised in this post recently which led me to think about them leading up to this post.

How do you measure Success?
Do you look at people who are considered successful and see how you measure up against them?
Or do you set your own standard and see how you measure up against yourself?
Or do you let someone else decide for you?

Success for me has always been anything that keeps one happy. Very often we go around our lives looking for bigger and better things in life to count as our big successes often forgetting to be be grateful and celebrating the smaller joys. As far as measuring success its all a matter of perspective, a classic winning the silver versus losing the gold outlook at various things. There will always be more successful, more happier, more rich people in this world so the key is to try and be more content than anyone with what life's given you while continuing to strive for better things for yourself. One always needs to set their own standards because if you measure your success by other's expectations then they will more often than not find that he / she might just not be the first people celebrating when the success eventually comes to them.

In retrospect

2007-04-26T07:49:00.000-04:00

Stirred into motion
I wipe the mist off my porthole
The air is heavy with cob webs
A ray of sunlight still cuts through
I have had too many yesterdays
I reach out for some tomorrows

How's work?

2007-04-12T12:24:00.000-04:00

Of late I have run across a lot of people at various states of disenchantment and disgruntlement with their jobs. The reasons have been many right from never wanting to do what they find themselves doing, to not feeling challenged enough, to being unhappy with the respect they are getting, to simply wishing they would be doing something more instrumental to the end product their job is producing. When we are growing up most of us run through different phases when depending of who we might have met recently or what our impressionable minds tend to absorb from the different media sources feed us about what exactly we want to do when we grow up. Pilots and joining the army seem like popular options for guys while girls more often than not swear by doctors, nurses and movie stars. As we grow up things however fall into perspective and we don't see India clamoring up with a billion pilots or movie stars. Our career paths are charted as we go through school and we get into our jobs with a certain set of expectations, slightly hesitant knowing that this might very well be what we will be doing for the rest of our lives. We wish to be instrumental tools doing something significant at work and bringing about significant changes. I think that's when most of us hit a real roadblock when we find out that initially we are just a small fish in a big ocean where most big decisions are already made for us. Some of us struggle for respect stemming from our lack of experience while other get disenchanted finding out that what they are meant to be doing is quite different from what they had envisioned they would be doing. This post is exactly about all those people who are at these stages in their nascent career. The problem is not with asking the world of their jobs but the problem lies with expecting everything. We need to realize that not all of us work dream jobs or not at dream salaries or not at dream work hours anyways. We have to realistically lower our expectations slightly of course never to an extent where it starts interfering with your ambitions. All I am saying is that not all of us wake up everyday wanting to go to our jobs, all of us have moments when in the middle of a board room discussion or conference call we just think that what the hell are we doing at this time and place, all of us have times when we get frustrated with trying to meet crazy deadlines built of unreasonable expectations. But the key is to see if there are any moments of magic when you realize how much more fortunate to doing something you have studied to be doing, or moments when you feel a rush hearing a new idea or at a new brain wave at something you want to do based on your own acquired skills, or any other moments of magic when you think to yourself that Wow do I love my job because it is moments like these which will make you realize whether your job is really worth it. If not wait till pay day to see if it is ;)

I love you Antigua

2007-04-06T09:28:00.000-04:00

This was meant to be be another blog originally about another thought that I had pondered over last night quite excited by it, but for some reason I have absolutely no recollection of what it was right now. So on this beautiful day (blame it on the Friday partially) I thought I would just pen down my experiences about my recent week long trip to Antigua. A trip that had begun absolutely drenched in pain after India's shock exit in the World Cup actually leaving many of us thinking whether we should actually go in the first place at all any more (bless you overpriced non-refundable Continental tickets). But the mere thought of not having gone seems criminal right now as I sit back recollecting what has been probably the best vacation of my life. The choice of Antigua was based on the fact that the men in blue would supposedly play in 2 high voltage clashes in the Super Eight and if not for them I probably would have never gone to Antigua. Antigua is a small country about 45 miles on the perimeter and at times its hard to realize that you are travelling across a country and not a city. But what it lacks in size it makes up in the pristine beauty of the place, the white sand beaches (365 of them too believe it or not) and the very very warm and friendly people. I never for a moment felt unsafe over there or felt that i was getting ripped because I was a tourist. The people were always friendly always more than willing to help and always COOL with their Caribbean accent. Spending time in the country makes you realise that you don't really need to be rich to live life as you see the whole country in a state of constant party (and trust me its not all to do with the greener grass over there). The whole setting of the place reminded me of Goa with the same roads, houses and laid back carnival atmosphere and to top it all there was cricket because all of you who know me know by now that I don't like cricket I love it :). The highlights of this trip will be the first sight of the white sand beach after struggling to locate it for a good 2 hours, sipping on some really fine Antiguan rum on ..... pretty much all the days of the trip, the awesome goat curry which I tore into with great fervor, meeting people from all over the world and the locals who seemed just as disappointed as me about India's shock exit, hooting a very mystified Ponting at the boundary rope with chants of 'Sachiiiiin Sachinnnn', shaking hands with the great Sir Vivian Richards, almost dropping my drink as I noticed Gilchrist standing right next to me at the bar and everything I did for the period of 6 days under the sun and over the sand. I love you Antigua, missing you already.

P.S. Pictures from the trip to follow soon

Inspired .......by this inspiring post

2007-03-22T12:37:00.000-04:00

Jo na mile to juda hun
Jo mile to shaamil hua hun
Khwab poore na kiye to bebas raha hun
Jo kiye to kehte hain khuda hun
Befikr akele hi chalta raha hun
Shayad main hi apni sada hun
Aakhir koi bataye main kya hun

Good morning cricket :)

2007-03-11T11:01:00.000-04:00

Cricket's finally hot and happening as described here in the latest issue of the Time magazine in USA.
So is my undergrad college in Delhi ;)

Sights and sounds WC 2007

2007-03-06T18:42:00.000-05:00

My dream list

Sachin going on the back foot to punch a perfectly pitched ball outside the off stump ball through covers with minimal effort followed by an exaggerated holding of his follow through
Shane Bond bowling Ponting through with a yorker as he shapes to flick a ball past mid wicket
Saurav coming down the track to launch Murali over long off for an effortless six
Lara pulling cutting and driving fast bowlers all around the park in way only he can
Dhoni whacking Afridi for one of his trademark helicopter swivel sixes over long on
Jayasuriya square cutting Ntini over the boundary ropes with a minimal backlift effortlessly
Sehwag uppercutting Malinga over third man for a huge six
Flintoff getting Gilchrist caught behind from around the wicket with some nifty away swing
Kumble knocking back Afridi's middle stump with his faster ball pushed through past another wild swing
Ponting hooking XYZ (read wannabe Pakistani fast bowler/ drug peddler) for a sweet six off the front foot
Srresanth pingin Nel smack on his helmet with a jaffa and then following it up with a lil jig

And of course last but not the least a champagne soaked Dravid holding aloft the trophy flanked by God and the God of off side. Cmon guys this is our time, lets get out there and make the dreams of millions fellow Indians come true

O bloggers where art thou?

2007-02-28T09:52:00.000-05:00

A Looong, looong time ago in a Galaxy far, far away ......... cut cut cut. I know these are emotional times but there’s no need to get all melodramatic right about now. The point I was trying to make was make that a while back I had started blogging taking me on this emotional rollercoaster where thoughts flew thick and fast as I put myself along with various my contrived ideas for public consumption. Some people joined me in this journey as we exchanged our thoughts across our set of blogs resulting in there always being something to look forward to at boring hours at work, or times when we got tired of pointless surfing across the net or watching too much TV. It was a fun time where all those people on my blog roll posted actively and I opened up their blogs in expectation of reading something new. But of late I have noticed that a lot of blogs that I used to visit and even actively comment on, have been going dead from lack of activity. I don’t know whether it’s a plain exhaustion of ideas, or lack of time, or just loss of interest in blogging. Whatever it is this affliction is quite bad because it’s taken epidemic proportion and stricken almost every blog on my blog roll. I have been a victim too but I a not ready to give up anytime soon. Even though I might be creatively broke of late blogging still continues to give me as much joy as it used to. So for the sake of the joy that runs across all the readers including mine when I visit blogs I like and see a new post, we should all pledge to continue to write whenever we can. As I have said before blogging is not about penning masterpieces, if it was people would just simply switch to reading books from fancy authors. Blogging has always been about people who like you managing to get a piece of you and I don’t think it’s fair to deny them their share, so write on bloggers :)

Life's palette

2007-02-13T21:27:00.000-05:00

Life is but a gamut of emotions
Despair is but sadness in slow motion
Contempt is but an egotistical devotion
Anger is but aggressive frustration
Jealousy is but spiteful serration
Hope is but an optimistic notion
Ecstasy is but manifested elation
Love is but the sweetest potion

Happy Valentines Day to all you all :)

LMTWGR

2007-02-06T17:00:00.000-05:00

It had taken him 28 years but Aryan Malhotra had finally managed to realize all his dreams. He had finally moved into a dream condo in Manhattan, had a dream job and was living the life most people dreamt of living by the time they were 40. His peers said he was living the American dream but he refused to be drawn into any such conversation because he always believed that the American dream was only for the outsiders. Even though his parents were Indian he had been born and brought up in America. While his parents had struggled financially with his upbringing, his hard work and determination to succeed had pulled him through the most prestigious of colleges and the most sought after degrees to the life he was currently living. He had grown up in this country which he had always thought of as his own and inspite taunts and slurs at his early school days he had always regarded himself as an American. He often heard people praising him or bringing him down on how well he had adopted the culture but in his mind there had been no choice. He was the way he was, having no real attachment to his parent's homeland often feeling very out of place on the two occasions that he was ever down there. He was lost in this chain of thoughts till he braked sharply bringing the red light ahead of him into focus. He smiled to himself as to how easily he let himself float in these train of thoughts.

It was then that his attention was drawn to the light on the dial of his new beamer indicating time for a refill on the gas. He decided to pull into the new gas station that just opened the day before and whose low prices had caught his attention immediately. As he pulled into the station he noticed that it was owned by a bunch of Indians and he got that funny feeling again. The feeling he always used to get being around people from his own country, a feeling that they somehow wanted to connect with him being from his country, and him feeling as if he had nothing to give back in return because he was someone else. He wished they would stop greeting him with eyes that seemed warmer than they would be for others and that lit up when seeing someone from their own country in a foreign land. His hand immediately reached out to turn his I Pod from the Bollywood songs he was playing to some heavy metal music. Bollywood songs were something that he considered were passed down in his genes and even as he grew up he somehow found it very hard to give up on his fondness for all Bollywood songs just like his mom. It made up for more than half his music collection on his brand new I Pod and he took it along with him wherever he went in his car. However he felt kinda odd when driving up his car to this station for some reason and for reasons unknown to him he changed the music from Indian music to some English songs he didn’t enjoy as much too. He even surprised himself when he found himself behaving in a detached and indifferent manner to the old man attending to him and left without so much as responding to his greeting as he drove off from the station. He found this feeling overcoming him every time he drove through that the station in the months thereafter. He got all uncomfortable everytime making sure he changed his preferred Bollywood play list on his I Pod to the not so preferred rock and metal play lists everytime he got there and avoided making too much eye contact with the old man who greeted him very warmly everytime he attended to him. He would have actually stopped going there altogether if the station wasn’t right next to his home and if it wasn’t so much cheaper than the other ones.

A lot had been happening in Aryan Malhotra’s private life since moving to Manhattan about six months back. His wife was expecting their first child and reading up all those baby care self-help books took up whatever time his busy work left him in the day. He was really looking forward to the baby personally and everything seemed to be progressing smoothly. So he was surprised when he was woken up 2 days before the expected date of delivery by his wife as she was complaining of labor pains. He immediately rushed out of the bed and was ready with his SUV pulled out in front of the house in minutes. He got his wife into the vehicle and soon enough he was driving as fast as he could to the nearby hospital. On the way he noticed that he was out of gas and decided that it was better to load up rather than be stranded on the road. He pulled into the gas station he had frequented so often grudgingly in the past six months. Sure enough he was greeted by the old man again but he was the last thing on his mind as he wanted to drive away towards the hospital as soon as possible. As soon as the man finished pumping he dug into his pockets to pay for the gas. It was then that he discovered that in his hurry to get out of the house he had forgotten to carry his wallet. He looked around desperately for some cash in his car but was not able to find none. He was a good 10 miles away from his house and there was no ways he could go back home in this situation. Also he had to get to the hospital as soon as possible with his wife writhing in pain in the backseat. His mind went absolutely blank as he sized up his options. Right then the old man who probably had been observing all this commotion from inside came out and walked up to his window. He said he understood the situation and it was ok if he came back later to pay for the gas. Also he insisted that he should rush to the hospital as soon as possible. Tears welled up in Aran’s eyes as he couldn’t thank the old man enough. The old man just smiled and said "Aaakhir ek hindustani hi to hindustani ke kaam aata hai" (In times of need an Indian comes to the aid of another) . Almost as if on cue strains of shehnai from 'Ye jo des hai tera' wafted through his I Pod in his vehicle. He smirked and muttered under his breath "Damn you Steve Jobs, almost spot on with your timing aren’t you?”.

WC 2007 ... I weigh in

2007-01-26T13:46:00.000-05:00

Why we can't go the distance? (the part where I exhibit my ignorance for the game)

Recent lack of one day form mostly stemming from an lack of any top or middle order batsman exhibiting any rich and consistent run of form.
Early run in with Sri Lanka who wont prove easy pushovers considering their recent run of very good form during which they have won bowl matches with the bat and ball, coupled with the fact that they have one of the most suited bowling attacks for West Indian pitches.
Aussie aussie aussie ... one of the most dominating and overpowering influences in any sport ever who are constantly evolving in a better and smarter species threatening to kill audience interest in the game due to their dominance.

Why we might just pull it off? (the part where I prove cricket is ingrained in my blood)

We have shown that we often perform better when players are unshackled in their minds and not having the burden of expectations weighing on their minds.
The pitches should suit our batting having seen similar surfaces at home. Also in last few editions senior batsmen have shown a tendency to put their hand up and carry the team through in big tournaments.
Senior cricketers including Sachin, Dravid, Ganguly and Kumble hopefully playing like men possessed with the knowledge that it might be their last shot at the biggest prize in the game.

Very obviously I am praying for the latter and hoping we do pull off a miracle victory which will provide the greatest joy to India since probably the Kargil victory. I shall be down there in the Caribbean egging on our team ....... hope to catch you there in person or in spirit too :)

My Space

2007-01-23T19:17:00.000-05:00

Pushed
As we flail around
Seeking our very own
Sometimes we all
Fall through
Those very spaces

2006 Year in review

2007-01-09T21:51:00.000-05:00

As another year goes past it’s that time of the year when you sit back and try and make sense of how fast time whizzed by and take a little break and recap. To say that it’s been one of the most momentous years in my life both professionally and personally would just be stating the obvious. It just seems like yesterday when I stood watching fireworks at college at the stroke of midnight muttering a silent prayer to essentially anyone who cared to hear to land a job of my choice. A pity that I don’t remember what I muttered because it must have been one heck of a prayer. By the end of January I had a shot at working at a place that let me use all of my acquired education and let me be a real engineer. Along with it came a move away from my home away from home at Penn State to a state which is often looked down upon for its crime, diversity, pollution and traffic. Also I made the single biggest purchase ever of my life and bought my car which was to be the sole apple of my eye till later in the year someone comprehensively acquired sole rights to that title. Being my first professional outing I was kind of cautious at how I would be received at work but I was glad to meet these warm and diverse set of people over there. Most of them were very welcoming and it helped me ease into my professional position. The traffic of course brought along with it its own set of problems and the car bore the brunt of it. But it helped me emerge as a more cautious and more empathetic driver at the end of the year. As the months rolled by I slowly got out of my lonely existence in NJ, I discovered Edison (its India away from India for the uninitiated), located a lot of friends from India who I hadn’t even heard from for over 8 years and life was looking really good. But nothing quite prepared me for the sequence of events that unfolded past July and someone with the cutest and unassuming of smiles leapt up from the comments section of my blog straight into my life. It was stuff fairy tales are made out of and it’s a joy to be living it every single day since then. The ending of the year was marked by a meeting with one of my best friend from Delhi and a trip to India thereafter. The trip of course deserves may other posts but it would suffice to say that it felt good to be 'home' home on this discovery.

My blogging frequency might have gone down during the past year due to a variety of reasons like lack of time, lack of creativity or simply lack of inspiration but I am just glad that I still pen down every word on every post with the same sincerity as I did on my first post and I still blog for the same reasons that I had at any time before. So here's to a many other posts and hope I can do a rundown again next year thanks in no small part to this blog.

Wishing you all a very happy new year :)

LiFe

2007-01-06T09:43:00.000-05:00

Life's a neat combination of simplified complications and complicated simplifications

Little Superstar

2006-12-27T17:22:00.000-05:00

Youtube rocks :)

Mahaaaaaaabharata

2006-12-20T19:55:00.000-05:00

I was reading this piece the other day about the renewed interest of many Bollywood film maker's in reconstructing a piece of mythology by making Mahabharata come alive on the big screen. The chance of exploring these age old epics in their own fashion offers tremendous opportunities to these film makers and it would surely be exciting to see how they tell this mother of stories on the silver screen. I have always had this secret wish of directing a movie someday too and coupled with my love for fantasy drafts I decided to jump into making a wish list of actors I would want if I wanted to make Mahabharata for the 70 mm screens too. Now my knowledge of this epic is limited to viewings (and repeat viewings) of its TV adaptation by B.R. Chopra so my choice of characters might be biased by the way they were projected on TV and also might have led me to come up with this wish list of only the characters that stayed with me even after the TV series was over.

The good guys
Yudhishthira: Ajay Devagan has done this bit before playing the guy who has truth on his side, the righteous one who treads the path of truth in the face of all adversities.
Bhima: The role requires an imposing physical presence, a gentle giant who often lets his anger get the better of him making Sanjay Dutt perfect for the part.
Arjuna: Who better than the best actors in the industry to play one of the important and my favorite character from Mahabharata. Aaamir Khan would be perfect perfectionist for this part that requires a certain degree of integrity to reflect in the person to play the character convincingly.
Nakula and Sahadev : I don't remember much about these twins but the record says that Nakula was extremely attractive so I went with Salman Khan for his sheer star power and also so that he doesn't have to act too much to dent this monster of a movie.
Draupadi: This is one of the toughest calls to make choosing probably the only important female part in a male dominated flick. To play a woman who is the object of affection of five important parts in the movie and to effectively play a woman who is so scorned that she is the underlying reason for the biggest baddest battle ever fought, Kajol heads my list followed closely by Rani Mukherjee and Aishwarya Rai with Vidya Balan being the wild card.
Krishna: Who better than Krrishh to play the second most important parts in Mahabharata. The person chosen has to project an aura and charisma very critical for this part while being a very good actor to be able to mouth those heavy lines without sounding cheesy hence the choice of Hrithik Roshan for the part.
Abhimanyu: One of my favorite characters again he shall win all the audience sympathies after his tragic death. I decided to go with either Shiney Ahuja or Abhishek Bachchan with their youthful looks and ability to play to the galleries with their eventual and tragic deaths.

The baddies
Karna: Probably the third most important character in the movie I decided to go with Shah Rukh Khan to play this guy with the heart of gold who sides with the baddies because his word is more important to him. Also casting SRK brings to the screen the dream pitting of Khan vs Khan which is a guaranteed crowd puller.
Duryodhana: For this part I decided to go with Akshay Kumar, an actor who has improved by leaps and bounds and has displayed a mean evil streak in previous movies. Saif Ali Khan could be good too as he displayed with his mean streak in Omkara.
Shakuni: For this small but very important part I went with Boman Irani, for those who think he is only good at comedy revisit Khosla Ka Ghosla and Being Cyrus.

The character actors
Bhishma: The easiest choice of all choosing the Big B to play the Big B of Mahabharata. He will easily do justice to this character who bound by oath undergoes a lot of torture but still sticks by his word Amitabh Bachchan.
Kunti: I just had to cast Raakhee as the mother of the Pandavas and who undergoes a lot of grief fully knowing that the battle will not end without at least one of her sons dying in it.

I had a rocking time coming up with this list which went through a few revisions the more I thought about it. You guys help yourself and engage in some fantasy fun too while I think about coming up with an all time list from all decades from Bollywood.

Just a thought

2006-12-12T21:06:00.000-05:00

I heard creating perfectly happy existences was a thankless job, I won't be one to break tradition but I am just glad they picked the right man for the job.

The apple tree

2006-12-06T13:29:00.000-05:00

A trip back to India is always a learning in more ways than one. You look back at times you have spent in your motherland, you reflect at what has been and what has shaped your life to the point at where you stand on that day. You look around at places and people who have also had a formative influence on your life and you try and put them against the mental pictures you had of them before. You find out a lot of people have actually changed, but maybe its just you who has. Maybe you have matured and gained a different perspective of them or maybe its just them. A lot of questions remain and a lot of questions remain unanswered. One of these people you get to observe quite closely is your parents, one of the most important things in your life, people battle hardened in life's war, people to whom you speak to almost everyday but who still are separated from you by the physical distances. However you notice how these holders of your genetic pool are really splitting images of yourself split only by spaces of time and a generation. You slowly notice uncanny similarities at they way they handle situations, the way they react, the way they handle people. Its scary at first to finally notice these things which you might have missed when you were less mature. But at the end of the day I realized it was a learning curve. Its a time to pat yourself on the back for the good things you have imbibed and admire in your parents and on the other hand its a time to consciously bring about changes if you think need be, on things which make you incompatible with people while you still can because you are still in a position to do so. Which way you look at it I think if you look hard enough it will be there for you to see that the apple never falls too far from the tree.

DELHI .... from the back of an auto rickshaw

2006-11-23T01:16:00.000-05:00

India on my mind

2006-11-06T18:35:00.000-05:00

SAD at what I leave behind
UPSET at what could have been a longer stay
APPREHENSIVE of changes beyond my control
BUMMED at my cover of my surprise landing being blown away
CONTENT that I leave behind my nascent footprints on my career
SURPRISED at how it still hasnt sunk in
HAPPY I have India on my mind now
ELATED I shall have India running through my lungs in a few days

Yours truly anonymously

2006-10-30T14:30:00.000-05:00

Blogging for many people has for long been a release from their routine life. A space where they hang loose venting out their creative energies or as an overflowing pot for their emotions. For a lot of people it has been the diary they have never kept or have been too conscious to keep one. For many others it has been a shout out to life in general, from a budding storyteller, a wannabe poet, a seeker of truth, or even from a frustrated individual trying to give meaning to these series of unfortunate co incidences in his/her life. Many people have raised their voices anonymously while many others have chosen a more open route attaching faces to their voices. Personally for me it was never a big deal, it was as simple as filling out my name on any for I would fill out. I have a picture up on my blog simply because there was a tab on the blogger form that asked for it, nothing more nothing less to it. A lot of people have asked me whether my family knows about this blog of mine and the answer to that is not really because I don't go hoarse advertising my blog from the rooftops. Its one of those things that they would so easily find out about if they googled my name but till the time they don't I guess I do enjoy a certain degree of freedom about my blogging subjects. Somewhere down the line this made me appreciate to a small degree, the overenthusiastic zeal with which some bloggers protect their identities. Whether they do it to add enigma and mystery to their real life persona's ........ not really, but whether it helps them stay in their comfort zone as they blog about a variety of subjects ....... quite possibly and understandably yes.

Alvida

2006-10-23T22:36:00.000-04:00

Main hun woh musafir
Rehguzar kinara hai jiska humraahi
Bas ek hai duvidha
Kya kah paaunga main
Is humrahi ko alvida
Kyunki meri manzil hai us paar

Where were you when ..........?

2006-10-18T13:06:00.000-04:00

Lakdi ki kaathi, Kaathi pe ghoda (Masoom): Trying to sing along as a toddler only getting the 'takbak takbak' part right and trying to get a free horse ride from almost anyone to everyone.

Aaja shaam hone aayi (Maine Pyar Kiya): Trying hard to convince my mom to buy me a 'Friend' cap, cmon cut me some slack I was 7 or 8 years old and thank you Mom for not submitting to all my silly demands

Ek do teen (Tezaab): Hoping and praying my neighbors across the road would play the song on their cool new stereo system so that the kids could groove to the song again

Oye Oye, Tirchi Topiwaale (Tridev): Just trying to find places all over my street which were playing the song so that I could just go and dance over there

Jumma Chumma De De (Hum): Humming that song very very consciously under my breath all day for the fear of my Mom catching me singing it (damn that song was catchy)

Choli ke peeche (Khalnayak) / Tu cheez badi hai mast mast (Mohra) : Trying to find safe corners to sing the songs before a tap on the shoulder and a pair reproaching eyes told me it wasn't such a good idea

Chaiyya Chaiyya (Dil Se): Discovering cargo pants were indeed cool and Arbaaz Khan's only redeemable quality (for the uninitiated he married the angel grooving in the video of the song)

Aashiq Banaya Aapne (Aashiq Banaya Aapne): Blasting the number all over the streets of New Jersey on my IPod

Kajra Re (Bunty aur Bubli): Doing the Kajra re step and falling in love with Aishwarya Rai all over again :)

They say songs define a generation but for me songs can easily define my life till now, each of these numbers clearly demarcating the point of time I have stood at, with them in my life, acting as one of the most sweet sounding and very cherished time scale. So where were you when these numbers were burning up the charts?

To the one

2006-10-13T08:07:00.000-04:00

To the one who knew so much about nothing
To the one who knew so much about the one who knew so much about nothing
To the one who knew so much about the female mind
To the one who thought he knew so much about the female mind
To the one who wrote a nothing about nothing

Remakes .......... Naaaaaaaaah

2006-10-10T10:59:00.000-04:00

As media persons and dailies waited with their bated breath for Ram Gopal Verma to reveal Gabbar's new look for his version of Sholay, or for the 20th Oct release to see what Farhan Akhtar's done with Don or what J.P.Dutta ha s done with Umrao Jaan, I was once again left exasperated at the futility of the whole situation. Ever since Devdas was redone and redux'ed by Sanjay Leela Bansali to rake in the big bucks lot of the filmmakers have been looking at remakes as an easier option to rake in the big bucks. Film making has for long been an art form meant to be an extension of your creative juices flowing on a 70mm screen. And that is exactly why remakes don't exactly do the trick for me. Remakes are almost like music remixes, in which a certain nobody piggybacks on a geniuses' back onto the road to fame and glory even though they don't or might not have a single creative bone in their body. I mean sure enough you will get people curious and talking when you announce a remake of a past flick but that is not curiosity being generated because of your talent. The real reason is because people identify and connect with the past flick and you shouldn't be getting any free buzz just because of that or any credit for that. And sure enough people will watch your movie because they know your story, scenes, dialogues and scenes from your movie making it a big success, but is that why you picked up a camera in the first place? Whatever happened to that little voice in you which asked you to make movies just because you loved to make em so that you could translate your little ideas and make them unfold of the big screen to make people root for your characters, laugh and cry with them, and take back with them a little piece of movie magic firmly stamped across their minds with them?

Although

2006-10-03T08:25:00.000-04:00

Elation is elation, painted
Sarcasm is sarcasm, serrated
Reputations are reputations, tainted
Co-incidences are co-incidences, slated
Strangers are strangers, aquainted
Chances are chances, fated
Passion is passion, jaded
Goodwill is goodwill, belated
Memories are memories, dated

Memorable quotes from a not so memorable movie

2006-09-26T20:53:00.000-04:00

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.' From the movie Coach Carter

So this is how it ends

2006-09-25T20:05:00.000-04:00

For those who wanna play catch up
1, 2, 3a/3b

His last few days had been a blur. He had thought and thought and then thought a little more about the infinite possibilities that might possibly lead him to meeting her again. The crazy part was he didn't really even know what he would do if he even did meet her but still he spent a major part of time wondering if he could somehow will fate to give him one more meeting with her. He drove on to work past the cafe where he had met her last and his eyes scanned the floor more out of hope than anything else. She had stopped showing up for work there 2 days after he had last met her there. he drove on once again late for work not helped by the piling morning rush hour traffic. He suddenly noticed some free room in the right most lanes and he jumped lanes happy to catch some breathing room and revved up his car. Suddenly as he caught some speed he caught something from the corner of his eye and he braked as hard as he possibly could. His car went out of control skidding between his lane and the pavement. The cars behind him went into a crazy tailspin but managed to stay clear of each other and the traffic. Meanwhile oblivious to all this he tried to gain some degree of control on his own car but he soon realised it was futile. He braced himself for impact however miraculously it never came. His car finally after swerving 180 degrees managed to come to a stop exactly beside where his corner of eyes had been transfixed.

Sally: Some show you are putting on today, pretty impressive
Harry: Oh cmon overlook the technicalities, hop into your ride
Sally: Presumptuous as ever, do you feel lucky today punk?
Harry: More like the luckiest man in the world

phoenixrizes.blogspot.com

2006-09-15T14:01:00.000-04:00

As bloggers all around the world celebrated the first anniversary of his independence he looked back at the empty blogger window trying to surmise the changes his life had gone through. He recalled the days when he had taken his first fledgling steps as a medical student overjoyed at having gotten into one of his dream med schools. He recalled the days of getting bullied by his erstwhile seniors and now best friends. He recalled how he had sat up late nights waiting for the night mess to open up during exams dying to grab that cup of tea in the Delhi winters. He recalled how he had warmed to the first rays of the sun in the courtyard of the hostel. Those had been good times where he had stepped out of the shadows of his overachieving siblings and found his own voice in this world. It was sometime during those days when a combination of spare time and unlimited internet at his hostel had led him to open his own blog. The blog was an autobiographical diary of his life lived surrogately by this guy called Phoenix. He always had a knack of writing which was lost somewhere during his teenaged years buried under the weight of his medical ambitions. He wrote about his life, his daily routines lacing it with dollops of humor giving people the lowdown on life's fundaes at the same time. The blog initially caught on amongst his friends who loved the inside scoops of one their closest friend's life. They said his style was fresh and vibrant and they liked it because they always felt a real connection with the writer. Soon the blog caught on with friends of his friends and their friends till it caught on a life of its own. Soon it became quite a rage in Delhi as people discussed, argued, debated, hated and fell in love with every single word written out by him. He became the voice of the youth who began identifying with him as he became the faceless darling of thousands of people. He could never convince himself totally that he didn’t enjoy all the attention but it was sometime during these days that he noticed that his health began to suffer. His health about which he mentioned about far and between on his blog became a subject of media speculation and it was only after extensive checkups that he was diagnosed with AIDS. His life fell ripped apart around him as he struggled to come to terms with this harsh truth. They gave him 18 months at the maximum before he would succumb to the inevitable truth. Being a public figure made it even worse as he had a tough time at his college due to the stigma attached with the disease and soon enough he was made to quit. That was the last straw and even though love and sympathy continued to pour in through his thousands and thousands of readers he made a public announcement that he remembered as clearly as the day he had typed it out on his blog. He announced that he didn’t want to go out crawling out of this world that had given him so much. He said he would live his life to the fullest for one whole year and then exactly a year after then with the support of his relatives and friends take his life with the aid of an injection. This announcement had been followed by a pent up media frenzy and channels all across the world discussed this unprecedented announcement by this voice that had been heard by millions around the world and reopened the age old debate about euthanasia. The government was riled up too in this matter as many debates and public interest litigations requesting thwarting any such suicide attempt. The local police under orders soon issued an arrest warrant on his name so that he could be protected from attempted any such thing and he was asked to be put into protective custody. This order was again followed by outrage by all the fans of his blog who asked him to be left alone saying it wasn’t fair for a dying man to be meted out such treatment. He had however kind of anticipated such a step by the authorities and had with the help of his friends managed to escape to an undisclosed destination in Europe. As he had lived his life in hiding for the past one year he had done whatever his heart had desired while still logging all these details onto his blog. And that is how he had retained his connection with all his readers who gave him their whole hearted support and some so far as came forward with financial support to fund his stay in Europe. But al this time away from home he had had plenty of time to think and he slowly had realized that his public announcement had just been a knee jerk reaction to the anger he had built up due to the shock and his helplessness at the situation. He had acknowledged that this past one year had been the best time of life and he had realized how much he wanted to live everyday left of his life till he had no more. He announced on his blog that he was no longer interested in ending his life; instead he said he wanted to go back to a country which he had called home for all these years. This announcement was met by varied reaction, some were happy he had decided to live on with the gift of life, some said he was a big cheat and had been perpetrating a fraud at the behest of some blogging company for free hits while others simply braced themselves for welcoming him back to India. He smiled content at this outpouring of love; he smiled because the phoenix has once again risen from its ashes.

P.S. The seed for this story was sown by Saggistica a while back on the comments tab of one of my posts, thank you

Celebrate Munna Jayanti asap

2006-09-12T14:47:00.000-04:00

Every once in a while a movie comes along that makes you think long after the empty soda glasses and popcorn bags have been trashed and refuses to fade away after the credits do. These movies do turn out to be the subject of widespread debates and water cooler conversations and the characters get taken home along with the movie audiences as popular lines from the movie get thrown about in regular chitchats. However these movies require original script backed by crisp editing and an air tight screen play. That is why these movies are few and far between and that is why 2006 has been such a great year for all Bollywood buffs. It began with Omprakash Mehra's very very original and fresh Rang De basanti, was followed up by Vishal Bharadwaj's Shakespearean’s adaptation Omkara and has been recently jazzed up again by Lage Raho Munnabhai. Three films which in terms of style and content could not be more different from each other but all of which have become cult classics and all of which I have enjoyed equally.

However this post has been triggered by the latest of the three movies. Sequels have an odd way of going down slope after people follow up on their wonderful first time efforts. The people making them get drunk with their own success at the same time remaining fearful of a follow up failure. So most sequels are not made from the heart and always with an intention of pleasing a particular target audience and often lack the soul which is buried under tones of gloss and style over substance cinema. And that is exactly why Lage Raho... comes across as such a shining star in this year that is already crowded with sequels from the Bollywood stable. The movie blends humor with a message without ever getting too in your face or preachy. It brings back two very lovable characters from the first part while changing the setup around them and keeping them away from their mannerisms and afflictions. As RDB brought back very relevant messages about India and Indianness LRB does the same but from a very different and fresh Gandhian perspective. There is a constant thread of humor running through the movie which tugs at your every muscle and gut till you can laugh no harder. The humor is also very situational and natural without having to resort to loud gags and getups. I watched the movie over the weekend and I can’t wait to catch it again asap so all you people who haven’t done so I have just one piece of advice 'Jaldi dekh ke aa naa Mamu, ekdum mast picture hai'.

Passing thought cing

2006-09-05T18:18:00.000-04:00

You don't need a Nobel everyday to make your day

P.S. An Oscar might be handy nontheless ;)

DCH

2006-08-29T17:16:00.000-04:00

DCH means a lot of different things to different people (btw if the alphabets D, C and H put together means nothing to you there isn't any point reading on). It has clearly been one of the most universally acclaimed films from the Bollywood stable and one of the freshest splashes by a first time director. I am sure people hold the film close to their heart for different reasons but today with this post I wish to point out the lessons in life it hands out as to what kind of person one ought to or ought not be to gain universal acceptability in the society. The 'what not be's' are littered all across the movie and serve as classic examples to all of us. Right from the overpossesive and brash Preity's boyfriend, to the bumbling 'timetable' geek, to the 'I've got you by your skin' girlfriend played by Suchitra, to the lost puppy in love wannabe 'Aaaaaaaa.....kaash' girlfriend, these are all people we encounter in life and are left with the feeling with a 'wish we hadn't' feeling at the end of the day.

Now moving over to the principal characters of the movie I am sure a lot of us identify with at least one of three characters Akash, Sid or Sam brilliantly played out by Aaamir Khan, Akshaye Khanna and Saif Ali Khan respectively. Between the three they cover most kinds of people that we encounter in our lives. I am sure if one really wanted they could easily pick out the Akash out of a party, or the Sid amongst a group of friends or the Sam on a dance floor. In the movie Aamir plays a happy go lucky kid who is always the life of the party but a person who cares very little for other people's emotions. Saif plays a die hard clueless romantic who is always the most gullible and gets picked on by most of his friends as he goes on lovingly bumbling through his life. Akshaye plays the moony eyed deep introvert thinker who doesn't care for much outside his own comfort zone. But through the emotional roller coaster ride of the movie we see that all 3 characters change in their own ways. Thus Akash earns to care, he learns to love and he turns into a bit like Sid's character in the end forced to be more empathetic in life. Sam turns into a bit of Akash as he learns to be his own man and make decisions for himself. Sid turns into a bit of Sam learns to open up to people like his mom and the woman he falls in love with as he is forced to let go of his emotions not fearful anymore of getting hurt emotionally. Just like the movie I think we all too in some way start out as one of these individuals in our lives. But just like the movie we all change for the better. We mature to be better individuals.

Just Do It !

2006-08-23T18:49:00.000-04:00

Most current bloggers start off as readers of other's blogs. They develop their favorites gradually intrigued by the concept of putting their thoughts down, some even developing a tiny lil tinge of fascination for particular styles of writing. Some start of as just readers moving on to be anonymous commentators, some moving on to be regular bloggers but this post is not about them. Its about the others who still sit on the sidelines telling themselves they think they should get themselves a blog someday. However be it out of sheer laziness of a supposed shortage of time they never do. Sometimes they just keep trying to convince themselves that they don't have the necessary skills to write a broadly entertaining blog. However they need to realize that no one really starts off as an expert when writing blogs. That probably explains those awkward first posts. Lots of blogs get stuck on that first post but the trick is to keep on writing. The posts slowly and magically get easier to pen down. Personally I don't even think anyone really gets better. Its like being asked to walk butt naked down a fashion show. You could really never get good at it but if you do it 4-5 times you get more comfortable in your skin. And besides writing blogs has never been about becoming the next big thing in the world of writing, its but a very personal means of expression and all of us being inherently different from one another can irrigate a bunch of thoughts previously unwritten. Blogging has never been about creating the next masterpiece. I blog whenever I feel like I have something to say, to put up and that's why when the fun goes out of it someday I will walk away, just like that. But this post is not about me, its about all of you who really deserve a blog for themselves, its time you got yourself one. In other words to quote one of the most famous tag lines in advertising history 'Just Do It!' and when you do please drop me a line.

Reflections

2006-08-17T14:21:00.000-04:00

People are inherently different from one another and that's one of the primary things that makes life so interesting. You never really know who you might meet everyday and even if you know who you don't really know what new side of them you will see that day. When two people meet they are brought together by common likes and dislikes, intrigued by varied tastes and pulled apart by seemingly lofty standards they set for others in the lives. These two forces battle out in the playground of the mind till they discover redeeming qualities that binds them in a bond for life, splits them apart by an ever widening gap or wedges a wall of indifference between them. The former for obvious reasons is the most memorable as it connects people on many levels. They get used to each other forming friendships and layering out strands of history between them. Then people go their own ways probably never to meet again but those friendships stand as does the history. And when time and a bunch of inexplicable reasons and fortuitous coincidences bring them together no ice breakers are required. They stand together on level plains on mountains of history and they need no ice breakers. All they mutter are muted thank yous.

P.S. I dont really know where this post was headed. It was one of those times when I was really happy and wanted to mark it with a blog but really ddidnt know how to. This post is reflecting back on the past month when I met up and caught up with many of my close friends from both school and college back from Delhi. People I thought would never meet again but I did, out in a place thousands and thousands of miles away from where I had first met them.

The Fool

2006-08-11T19:33:00.000-04:00

A thousand thorns
Shouldn't make you scorn
I may limit my doses
But I'll continue to love the roses

Given a choice they will do the right thing
Exceptions are always TO, and not THE rule
And that is why I go on believing
In the inherent goodness of people, what do I know I am just a fool

BLO gger / CK

2006-08-07T22:14:00.000-04:00

Out of ideas and creatively broke, but the speed breaker is only but a bump on a road, which itself is but a means to a journey. Meanwhile will blog on topics, on demand so go ahead and shoot your wish list.

Untitled

2006-07-28T20:27:00.000-04:00

He stood at the street corner on this bright sunny day, smells of fresh pizza wafting out of the Italian restaurant he stood in front of. He wondered how late his friend would be, but in the hearts of hearts he knew he would be pretty late if his past record was anything to go by. He had himself deliberately come there fifteen minutes but his friend had always managed to out do him again. He would have given him a piece of his mind had it not been such a nice day on this winter morning. He stood there soaking the sun watching people walk by, it had always been one of his favorite past times. He looked at the baby playfully enjoying the bumpy ride of his new sparkly pram, he looked at the girl joyfully clinging to this guy's arm as he was trying to block the visions of spending the whole day at the mall, he looked at the construction worker all jumpy after his dose of caffeine who couldn't wait to get to work and then his gaze stopped at this beautiful angel standing right across the street. She didn't seem in a rush to get anywhere as she stood there staring at him. He suddenly felt all warm and woozy as he tried to hurriedly get his unruly mop into some semblance as he uncomfortably shifted around. As he was looking around he noticed another girl sitting across the glass in the restaurant waving animatedly at him. His mind ran a quick flashback to try and place her but drew a blank. So he shifted his attention to the angel again but was kind of embarrassed to see that she was still staring back at him. He wished she could her shades off so he could read her face any better as he turned his gaze away. He suddenly noticed that the girl inside the restaurant had come out and was walking up to him. Confused he stood over there as she walked over and started speaking something animatedly. If he could somehow HEAR the words she could never SPEAK he might have heard her cursing him for not helping the girl across the road cross the road she could never SEE.

Happy New Year

2006-07-22T18:54:00.000-04:00

She looked back at herself in the mirror and at the perfect life the person staring back from it was living. She had the prefect career, loving husband, the cutest daughter in the world and a great life to go with them. She really had no reason to complain, but then she never did anyways. She always used to say that there was no point, and if there was then complaints would be the cure to all evils. She had a great year professionally as a fledgling psychiatrist and she couldn’t wait to get done with her last patient on the last day of the year. She looked at her appointments and the name that stared up from it seemed kind of unfamiliar. New patients were always difficult and one should always wait till the third meeting before getting down to the resolving the issues she recalled. As soon as the clock struck 3 there was a knock on the door as her last patient entered through the door.

Happy New Year, I hope I am not late.
You are early for the former and late for the latter
Well I am sorry I walked in without an appointment
You don’t have an appointment, I am sorry I am supposed to see someone at this time. Maybe you can call up and set up something for the next week.
You mind if I just wait around for a while.
I don’t see the point because I won’t be taking any more patients today.
Consider it a favor, and besides I am sure you can give me a session in case your last patient doesn’t show up.
Well only if you insist.

He was pretty insistent alright. The patient didn’t show up and she had her first ever session with him. He was a very successful businessman who had lost his direction since he had lost his fiancée and girlfriend for 2 years, about 2 months back. She was also to discover that he didn’t have any reason in the whole wide world why he needed to be visiting a psychiatrist. All he had a deep rooted fear of loneliness and didn’t want to be alone on a day like the New Year’s Eve. So he had just set out from his home and walked around over the streets till he ended up on her doorstep. Of course he didn’t tell her this himself, he was too proud for that. She had realized that right away as he stumbled his way through one lie after another just delaying the session hoping to procrastinate the inevitable fearful of the loneliness that had become his only friend and his worst enemy. However she could see him standing over some invisible ledge and that if she let him know that she was on to his lies it probably would have been the last straw. Whether it was out of pity, sympathy or empathy she didn’t know but she let him stay on that day as they chatted for over an hour not as a patient and doctor but just friends.

She didn’t see him again and this odd meeting resigned itself to some recess of her mind. She went on with her life meeting more people helping them with their problems and mending more lives. She had always considered it as what she was born to do and being a natural listener helped. She had never been short on empathy and that was a natural ally as she treated her patients. But all the sorrow slowly and slowly starting seeping into her life sub consciously as all the doctor patients talks made their way to her home. She began leading an affected life. There were days at a stretch when she felt low or inexplicable reasons an undesirable off-shoot of her empathetic nature probably. Her personal life went through mini-crises as her husband tried to keep persuading her into leaving her job. He felt it was taking a huge toll on her, eating out a piece of her after every patient she met and as she continued to live on harbored emotions. However she couldn’t even imagine such a world.

It was exactly a year later but right on New Year’s Eve he was back. She let him through without an appointment this time; she wasn’t having as many people coming in nowadays anyways. She told him she looked in much better shape and he told her he wished he could say about her. She caught up with his life, they laughed, she almost cried. She told him she had always known that she had known why he had come in and he said he knew she had. Time flew as they chatted up like two old friends and before she knew it was time for him to go. Almost thankfully he uttered no thank you and went off just as he had come in the first time.

Her life slowly began to fall to pieces. She tried to distance her professional life from her personal one taking in lesser patients but she couldn’t stop doing in altogether. There lay a gap in what she wanted to do and what she had to do to and her life slowly and slowly fell right through it. She went through a phase of depression where when she was actually asked to stop practicing altogether. She somehow continued with her life and ear passed by. She did surprise herself when she found there was a part of her that was waiting for him on New Year’s Eve. However he didn’t show up as was the routine for the past two years and the next year after that. Meanwhile gradually there was a space building up in her married life which was finally split wide apart by an ugly divorce. She moved out to her parent’s place for a while continuing her practice from there. However soon she felt even more of a failure matching up to life’s lofty standards and she moved back to her old house.

She started practicing again and slowly and slowly her patients began to roll in. But with that rolled back the grief and slowly permeated her life again. She never had many friends to speak of and after her parent’s death in a car accident she got very lonely. She started drinking and court even limited her visits with her daughter to a bare minimum on the account of her manic depression and drinking problems. One day she sat back in her room and realized that she didn’t find life worth living anymore. Loneliness had become her only friend and her worst enemy. She didn’t have a cause worth dying for but then she didn’t have one worth living for either. She sat back in her favorite chair bottle of pills in hand wondering if there was a lonelier person on the place of this earth. Just as she was about to pop the pills into her mouth she was kinda startled by a knock on the door.

Happy New Year, I hope I am not late.
You are early for the former and late for the latter

And they chatted up like old friends again. The equations might have changed but there weren’t supposed to be any in friendship were there?

Holy Matrimony !!!

2006-07-14T16:38:00.000-04:00

What's going on with the world. It's as if the universe is conspiring to take all the happy single people around me and bind them into pairs of bickering couples for life. Its amazing how many people I have known in the recent past are suddenly getting hitched. A lot of my friends from high school who I have caught up with recently have been happily married for a while, a few from college have suspiciously changed their statuses on their online profiles without bothering to inform me of the news until they are prodded to cough up the dough and last but not the least I discovered number of friends from grad school are getting on this bandwagon too. All
this time while I have hit with a rush of these developments all I seem to be asking these people first up is what's the big rush? (of course I follow it up with a sheepish congratulatory message later). All those people you do realize that there's no more unlimited cricket weekends for you, forget about golf, no beer pong nights, your mom and dad's numbers will be demoted from speed dial #1, a violent end shall befall your 'Frank the Tank' days, your prime time TV watching will switch from Monday night football Chappelle's Show and South park to Desperate Housewives and Lost etc etc. So its time you re evaluate all this in the light of the above and think whether all of it is worth it for that Bachelor's party. I know I am not painting a pretty picture but no one said it would be one :).

I knew a lot of them are goaded into holy matrimony by insistent parents but I think all those moms and dads get into the act only by a hidden desire to play God looking at all those tones of profiles of suitable boys and girls before they pick one out of a surrogate swayamvar. And yes those 'desire to play God' genes do manifest in you all too when you drive deliberately at 5 above at 70 in a 65 zone just because you feel like it. So anyways all this talk of my friends getting hitched somehow made its way to my Dad's ears and what followed was this conversation I had been dreading.

Dad: Don't you think you should get settled now
Me: Oh cmon Dad not you
Dad: But no seriously you think I should start looking unless you have
other plans.
Me: Oh camaaaaan I cant believe we are having this conversation, I am good for another 3 yrs plzzz.
Dad: Ok ok we will talk abt it when you come to India
Me: I am sooo not looking fwd to that conversation.

Et tu Dad I thought you guys were COOL, however 6 months (abt the time when I shall be flying to Delhi) is a loooong enough time for anyone to forget a phone conversation right?

Butted out

2006-07-10T10:13:00.000-04:00

The curtain came down yesterday on one of the biggest and keenly followed sporting spectacles in the world, the Football World Cup 2006. Even though the best team might not have won, for that matter they didn't even finish up as runners up and even though the best player of the cup didn't even get his Golden ball award (not publically anyways) I must say that it was worth and hype and lived up to its star billing. It was a cup that marked a general shift in the style of play with the focus shifting and substance ruling over style. May be that is one of the reasons why there aren't too many spectacular goals that spring to mind save Maxi Rodriguez's wonder strike when recalling the play from the last one month and also the reason why the best 2 TEAMS and not the 2 teams with the best players fought it out in the final. The cup made news in the first half only due to some atrocious officiating often pitifully being the cause of the final results while on the other hand a lot of big names failed to live up to their star billing including Ronaldinho, Rooney, Messi, Owen and Ballack. A lot on insta villains were created like Christiano Ronaldo, Rooney and but of course he biggest name of them all Zizou. What Materazzi said to Zidane will go down as one the hotly debated media questions in the days to come till one of the involved parties breaks their silence on the matter but possible contenders for answers might be a certain bald spot and a certain Veronique :). Whatever might be the answer it has taken some sheen off Italy's win as Ronaldo's mystery stroke did after the 1998 final. Also nothing quite justifies ZIdane's actions on the field because that kind of chatter has always been part of soccer tradition and reacting in the fashion that he did doesn't befit one of the legends of the game especially considering what was at stake for his team. I have a weird feeling the much televised 'French Butt' will go on to become on the favored weapons of choice in bar brawls for years to come :).

And I wonder........

2006-07-06T21:26:00.000-04:00

Death is one of the most over bearing, over powering and long lasting emotions known to the human mind. I have personally never been a big proponent of it and neither have I ever spent unearthly hours discussing the whole philosophical side to it. There have been times that I have stared at it in the eye often managing to blink and walk away. I don’t mind that though, all I hate is to be seated on any ride with it as my co passenger. The more I think about it the more depressing the emotion seems to be to me and its not because I fear it, its simply a realization that I am very ill equipped to deal with the whole concept of it. There fore I come across days when the whole event even though totally unrelated depresses me to unusually low ebb. What is it about death that permeates boundaries of nations and blood lines unnoticed and unannounced till it drives a cold dagger across our hearts. Is that why they call it the final truth of life laced in all its glorious inevitability?

Tag tag such a drag

2006-07-02T22:50:00.000-04:00

I am thinking about..
why the hell such tags still float around continuing to torment bloggers
I said...
On jinguchakka's blog that I hate tags in general but this one was a particularly horrid one.
I want to...
meet someone in real life like Julie Delpy's character in 'Before Sunrise'
I wish...
I could go back to writing blogs about issues that I feel writing about
I miss...
New Delhi
I hear...
people out .... on most occasions anyways
I wonder...
how, I wonder why yesterday you told me about the blue blue sky ..........
I regret...
nothing. Well I do regret not buying that "no regrets' Nike T shirt I sooo liked
I am...
What I am
I dance...
the chicken well
I sing...
very often and along with most songs, a sampler might be dropped off here on popular demand :)
I cry...
almost, every time I hear Rehman hum 'Ye jo des hai tera'
I am not always...
easily pleased by other people's cooking efforts
I write...
in Hindi at times just to see if I still remember to
I confuse...
people to buy time in the middle of an argument
I need...
a cheap Newark-New Delhi ticket for mid Dec
I should try...
period
I finish...
This tag FINALLY hoping not to be doing any in the near future

What's 8 yrs between a bunch of friends

2006-06-27T07:37:00.000-04:00

Somewhere the years roll by unnoticed
Courtesy of a distracted eye
An eye that holds dreams for the future
But an eye that holds memories
Memories of a wondrous past
A past tinged in innocence
An innocence probably lost
But a few co incidences later
The years roll back again
You rewind the laughs, the mischiefs everything
Its as if it was just yesterday
When we sat together and said our goodbyes
With a promise to meet again
And meet again they did

P.S. On an unrelated note I love you Julie Delpy

Home's where .................

2006-06-23T20:46:00.000-04:00

It hadn't been the most smoothest of transitions. Sure he had welcomed landing his first job but tinged the usual withdrawal symptoms of leaving a place he had known for over 2 years coupled with being thrust into the harsh city life of a new place, a sea change from the quiet town he had lived in. The job had been great, he just hated the drive he had to take to and back from it. The traffic was rough, with people honking away to glory running on some budgeted honks for a day plan. People were always rushing trying to take the shortest paths, didn't matter if it was over you rather than by you. He never liked doing things he didn't enjoy and may be that was one of the reasons why the prospect of this drive twice a day didn't immensely enthuse him everytime. Today was another such day as he got into his new car to get back home from work. He did ok till he ran into some serious traffic on the main highway. An SUV cut him off without indicating and he barely braked in time letting off an infuriated honk that drowned his favorite unmentionables. He knew it was going to be a loong ride home and he turned his attention to his happy place turning up the music. He was kinda lost as he came over a steep incline when he noticed the car in front had pulled up quite sharply. Not another accident he moaned to himself realizing that his misery had just worsened down to a crawl back home on this road. But he realized it wasn't a careless driver jumping lanes or a distracted cellphone user that had caused the slowdown as he came over the hill. His eyes were hit by the most crisp and golden rays of the sun he had seen for a long long time and almost every car around him grinded to a stop trying to adjust to the glare. Bathed in this brilliant light there wasn't much the BMW's and the Porsche's for all the money spent into buying them could do about it and the traffic ground to a halt. As he basked in this brilliant sunshine for some reason struggling to hold in the beauty of this sight, he suddenly felt warm he suddenly felt WELCOME.

A tribute to the anonymous commentor

2006-06-18T18:55:00.000-04:00

I believe in the right to free speech very strongly and it was one of the prime reasons why I have always allowed anonymous commenting on this blog. I know that most bloggers whenever moved in any ways by a person's comment on their blog like to immediately go the person's blog to find out more about the person, its just human nature and that is where the anonymous commentors give you nothing to work with. I guess it all adds to an air of mystery about them and that is why some anonymous comments stay in your head for a long while for some inane reason. Here below I reproduce some anonymous masterpieces from my blog. As much as I would like to deny it do intrigue me with a feeling of having known you from somewhere so if any of you still reading can claim ownership to them give an anonymous shout out :)

Anonymous said...
So different yet so alike
Seems like we've met
Maybe in another life?

Anonymous said...
Hey, nice blog. I have been reading ur stuff for quite sometime.
I cannot help but agree with point5, especially since you have made your identity public? Anyways, keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...
This reminds me of something that happened a few yrs ago. 107.1 FM (I think) radio in Mumbai had a very popular RJ. His voice was so freakin sexy that women all ages used to drool over it and ofcourse the show's ratings were sky rocketing.
One fine day, Bombay Times happened to post his pic on page3. Needless to say, most women were extremely disappointed. It might sound shallow but right after that, everyone I knew stopped listening in to the show.

Anonymous said... Come on. I am sure this song was for "some one". You definitely had someone in mind , didn't you ? Some one you know right now or may be someone back in india ?

Anonymous said...
hi rohan, have been reading your blogs since quite some time now. i must say i was surprised to see two news faces of your personality today.
i thought this was a very emotional blog you wrote today (first new face). then i read mr anonymous's comments and what you said in response (face 2). well to tell you the truth he just expressed his opinion and it just so happens that his opinions dont match yours. that's okay. that happens. my blogs are also very controversial and i get to hear so much from people. to tell you the truth, i too get angry at times. but mostly i take it in spirit and try and understand what other people are thinking and why they are thinking what they are thinking. and you know what, that helps. i can say this cause i am older than you and have seen more in life.
i am telling you all this only because i think you write well. you dont have to listen to me. you are not compelled to. enjoy your comments.
ps: someday i will give you the link to my blog, and then may be you understand what i mean.

Anonymous said...
Then go home...why do you continue to stay here?

Koi Pahailee said...
Though i almost always enjoy your posts..especially SWADES
but i must say that this is one posts that sucks...
(honest opinion:))

Anonymous said...
"good posts go commented" ... nice point made. I'll tell why I don't comment on posts that I feel are very good. I do not want to spoil a delicious maincourse with a mediocre dessert.

Bloggers don't fear, help is here

2006-06-11T19:36:00.000-04:00

This post is dedicated to all those brave soldiers who are brave enough to throw caution to the winds putting a lot on the line only and only for their love for the world of blogs. Now I am sure a lot of you are aware how addictive these blogs get after a point and how you during a course of a especially boring day keep hopping between your favorites hoping to see an update or for that matter anything new and interesting that might prevent you from dozing off at work or your school or university. Its a particularly hard job as you try to grab a peek from the prying eyes of your boss or an overtly boring teacher. You know the risks are large and if caught spending your precious time on them you are really in for it.

So today I wish to share some trade secrets of this very delicate art of how to sneak a peak at these blogs without getting fired at work or dropping a grade at school. Well first and foremost one thing you might notice is that a lot of blogs contain music and as soon as you open the blog your cubicle becomes the unintended recipient of a lot of your colleague's attention. So the thumb rule is to always have the mute turned on your laptops. This also helps to avoid getting caught using messengers at work. Yes a lot of you do know how embarrassing it can get when in the middle of a presentation or meeting a message pops up accompanied with that hard to miss 'ding' sound. Another method to surf blogs safely would be to use RSS readers so that you get email notification whenever a blog is updated or someone comments on your blog. But that's a safe option and we all know how we hate to play safe and love to flirt with danger especiallywhen it comes to our bosses. So if you still want to keep checking all blogs for updates here's an original, tried and tested method. As soon as you see a new post you can copy and paste it to a word file and then sink back in your chair and read the word file without any fear. So something like this end up looking like a harmless this and thus a potential 'I am sorry, we are gonna have to let you seek more favorable avenues of employment :(' magically transforms to 'Oh my my I cant believe you've already started work on that report already :)'. Another option that works beautifully as an alternate means to the beaten to death and very very suspicious 'alt+tab' manouvre is to use this PANIC button in case you get walked on upon in the middle of a very interesting blog. In fact I am so kicked with this idea that I am thinking of leaving permanent tab on the right side of my blog to make all your blog reading experience a safer and more enjoyable one. So now that you are equipped with all these tips and tricks I shall leave you to enjoy the world in blogs in peace, may the Blogger Force be with you.

A walk down memory lane

2006-06-05T22:48:00.000-04:00

I have always believed orkut to be nothing more than an antiquated messenger and a device lots of people use to 'make friendship' with others with an unlimited internet connection and time on their hands. So I was absolutely overjoyed when I found one of my very good friends from school on there. Even though we were good pals from school somehow as we charted different routes through different colleges we kind of lost touch. The area codes in our respective places changed somewhere down the line as a result of which I had lost touch with him for almost 8 years now (stop doing the math, I will tell you my age, all you have to do is ask :) ). So anyways I had tried to get in touch with him again but with no success till a week back when I suddenly found him on orkut via another school friend's list and surprises of surprises he was settled here in USA itself (and yes I will hunt you down if you come looking for me on orkut :) ). We spent an hour catching up on the phone but you know how it is when you meet an old friend after soo long. Lots of questions pop up into your head as soon as you put the phone down and so I was kinda kicked to see him online on my messenger today. After some usual chit chat consisting of exchanging pleasantries, long debate as to who of us was a bigger (in his words) kam_ _ _ at school and an unsuccessful attempt by him to hook me up with his current girl room mate, this is where the conversation veered to.

Me: Hey your brother's name was Sudipto right?
Him: No ways how do you remember my brother's name, that is crazy man.
Me: Baap ka naam P.K.Ghosh (imagine a Big B Agneepath hangover)
Him: Damn you have a good memory (and yes I am freakishly freakishly good when it comes to such things)
Me: Your dad was a heart surgeon at Apollo hospital
Him: Give up man I didnt even know I ever told you this stuff. Lets see if you can tell me my Mom's name
Me: Kyun tujhe apni Mummy ka naam nahin pata
Him: @#$#$#*&#@@#$$% Hahahahahahahahahaha, tu kabhi nahin sudhrega
Me: You should have seen it coming
Him: Yup I should :)

And I couldnt stop laughing for the next 5 minutes, damn its good to catch up with old friends.

I voice my RESERVATIONS

2006-05-31T13:23:00.000-04:00

We can’t hope to compete with the best in the world with only 51% of the best possible work force representing the face of India.
If there’s anything worse than buying you way through education it’s eating up deserving seats just because you have a certain last name.
A glaring example of what protective reservation does is the state of Indian economy before the and after the 90’s.
Sure enough we all love a heartwarming underdog story of rags to riches but only when the person swims against all odds and not in a protected channel while the competitors are left to drown elsewhere.
Reservation is just another way of the government showing some pity love without sounding offensive.
I am not totally convinced I would someday like to go under the table for a doctor whose only qualifying achievement was being born in a certain household.
If the Government was really serious about increasing the seats in various colleges why not open special colleges and schools to provide seats for students they are bent upon providing these reservations for.
If my future was gift wrapped and given to someone else not because I wasn’t good enough but because the Government wanted to get some votes in the next election I would be embittered and burning like the rest of INDIA right now.

Walletary retirement

2006-05-26T18:37:00.000-04:00

Welcome to my world, be my guest as I walk you through my life. Born a bastard child just like so many of my brothers and sisters churned out by the hundreds as if out of some factory. I was handpicked by a certain someone who was looking for some company on route to a new phase of his life in the USA. I of course didnt complain getting to step out of my compartmentalized world and tired of seeing the same bored faces staring at me everyday as some object of desire. Initially I was in the company of some Indian family, nice bunch them. Even though mostly old and crinkly they were a warm lot and got around well. It was somewhere around then that I met Mr.5ver and he has kept me company to date, some even say that he was kind of lucky for a certain someone and and that was what got him unlimited immunity. Have you ever wondered why I shouldnt be the single most important object in everybody's life? After all most people's strive through most of their life trying to make me fatter, in fact I am the most powerful object in the world after all (well of course if you discount the rumors that I cant buy love or something to that effect). Damn I digress, so anyways as I moved to USA I got company of the Greens. Also those cards swamped and jostled around for spaces and it was a crowded lot in there. A certain Mr. Photoid moved in too and that increased my importance significantly as I was whipped out every single time HE wanted to have a good time. Along with those cards those Greens have multiplied over the past three years so much so that I might just be replaced. Yeah from being 'The One' to being 'The other One', cant say I didnt see it coming. HE claims due to some sentimental bullshit I wont be unceremoniously put down, just retired to the dark recess of a solitary confinement.

ONE 5 O

2006-05-23T21:30:00.000-04:00

As he stared at the packet addressed to Mr.ethan hUUnt for the tenth time in the last 10 minutes he knew he had a choice. He knew they had many other agents to pull the dirty jobs while family men like him were left alone to live their family lives. At the same time he knew it must have been really urgent for him to have been given a call up. He took a deep breath for one final time and ripped the packet apart knowing that there was no looking back. He found a Pod and sure enough as he powered it on he heard a familiar voice reach his ears. 'Mr.Hunt your mission now that you chose to accept it is to take down Nahor Ramuk, an African dictator, thorn in the American flesh for many years as he has subjected his country to a reign of terror. He shall be visiting Chicago next week to give a speech at the UN office to the global media as he defends his administration. You are to take him down with the minimum of attention and without leaving any signs of American involvement. Good luck for mission ONE 5 O and as always this mission will self destruct in 5 seconds.'

Damn he always hated this part he thought as he ducked under his table for cover barely having time to pull out the rest of the contents of the packet which curiously happened to be 6 common quarters. As he re emerged seconds later he was happy to see the contents of his room had not been rearranged by a sophisticated charge and the Pod had just turned off, permanently of course.

Sure enough on the designated day Ethan arrived at the media meet held on the top level of a recently inaugurated high rise. He pondered upon the task at hand as he walked through heavy security. He hadn’t even bothered with a weapon knowing fully that there was no way he would get it past the guards. He had decided to be Clark Kent from The Planet living out one of his fantasies and he smiled to himself at the big joke for the fifth time today as e seated in the 3rd row of the conference. The general seemed like a reasonable man Ethan thought as he sat out listening to his model for establishing democracy in the failed state but then these politicians always have a way with words. After he got finished with his speech he started to field some questions. This continued for another hour before they finally broke for restroom break. Ethan sensed his chance and he followed the general as he headed to the restroom. As he came around he corner he saw the doors being blocked by the general's bodyguards. He got past them after a very thorough security check and as he entered the restroom he finally weighed in his options. He thought about taking him down one on one but he didn’t really fancy his chances against another man who had been trained in the business of killing. As his mind raced against time he scanned the area. It was massive, which went against him because he had to get it right the very first time around, no second chances. Damn he was really up against it this time he thought as he walked past a vending machine. It was when it all seemed crystal to him. He scourged around his pockets and came up with the 6 quarters noticed for the first time how their corners were tagged with some red ink. He walked up to the vending machine and dropped in the 6 quarters. The machine whirred as the top deck began to move out. The first 3 candies popped out and sure enough hidden behind them was carefully planted automatic weapon. He whipped out the loaded weapon waited for the general to step out before he shot him once, in the space between the eyes past any hidden bulletproofs. He barely had time to jump out of the only window before the bodyguards broke into view. He counted 3 seconds before deploying he deployed the chute that he had worn tucked under his tux. As he sailed to the ground he whipped out his cell and texted out one last quick message before tossing the phone up in the air. Too bad no one except the recipient got to read the message which said 'Mission ONE 5 O accomplished.'

And so it continues ........

2006-05-18T18:43:00.000-04:00

A trip down into the memory lane of old posts dug this out and paved the way for this post.

Sally: Awritee Mr. Wannabe funny guy consider this your lucky day.
Harry: Ouch lady is it just the morning air or are you always this cold?
Sally: So how often do you go around asking out waitresses?
Harry: Well lets see Mondays and Fridays, Sundays if I am doing overtime. What about you? What do you do besides running errands on rainy days and joining complete strangers over breakfasts?
Sally: Well you see with customers like you there isnt time left for much else.
Harry: Have any time left for your boyfriend?
Sally: Now that's a loaded question, hope you dont intend to spend all day digging up my history.
Harry: Didnt know you had all day for me.
Sally: As a matter of fact I dont actually and that's why I gotta head back to my shift now.
Harry: If you insist, well have a good day and take care of your boyfriend's girlfriend for me.

Was good while it lasted

2006-05-15T18:37:00.000-04:00

All good things must come to an end or so they say, but instead of mulling over the impending end I guess we are better off appreciating the great run they had and how good it was while it lasted. This post is dedicated to one of my favorite music directors from Bollywood who have always had a bunch of songs on my playlists as I was growing up. The broke into Bollywood when music was beginning to make its presence felt after almost a decade and a half of dying a slow death at the hands of mindless action flicks courtsey the angry young man who was no longer so young. Although they had been composing for a lot longer they hit the big league in 1992 with hits like Khiladi, Raju Ban gaya Gentleman and of course JJWS. Pehla Nasha was a huge huge smash and it is always a pleasure when it plays up on my shuffle every single time. Their next stop was Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na one of SRK's best performances to date with the evergreen hit Deewana Dil Deewana busting charts in all countdowns. The followed it up next year in 1995 with their biggest smash in DDLJ. Tujhe dekha to ye and Mehndi Laga Ke still sound as fresh as they did the first time around when I heard them at schol when love fever was sweeping across the nation as ppl did come and did fall in love. They had a couple of quiet years following this big effort but they still found time to compose some of my favorite numbers with Baahon ke Darmiyan from a very underrated Khamoshi and Ek Din Aap and Chaand Taare from Yes Boss by them. Their music really hit the roof in 1998 as they churned out one hit after another in Ghulam , Jab Pyar Kisi Se Hota Hai, KKHH, Pyar Kiya To Darna Kya and Pyaar To Hona Hi Tha. Opinions may vary but barring some compositions like Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and a few others you could sense they were past their peak at that time. While they managed to churn out some lilting numbers like Mujhe Raat Din, Is Deewane Ladke Ko and Tune Mujhe Pehchana Nahin and some numbers from Mohabbatein I thought they got back to their kind of music with Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani but unfortunately the movie was a washout at the box-office. They started losng their prominence in the industry and even had to share composing credits in K3G. SRK showed is faith in them by retaining them for their home production and they repaid it by chalking up another great score for Chalte Chalte with numbers like Chalte Chalte and Tauba Tumhare ruling charts. The bagged Hum Tum on the basis of their performance and showed they still had what it took to compose ageless music witht the title track from the movie. However trouble was brewing apparently between the two and creative differences forced them to announce their split in 2006 while releasing their last composed piece of work Fanaa. If you have managed to lay your hands on the album you shall know that they have decided to go out in style stamping their class all over the album with tracks like Chaand Sifarish and Dekho Naa. All I can say its been great having this asociation with you and thank you for all those hundreds of songs and all the millions of memories associated with them.

Blogfessions

2006-05-11T19:45:00.000-04:00

I was very dissed when I couldn't get the url meagainstmyself.blogspot.com for my blog.
I actually had to check the spelling of 'catharsis' before titling my blog.
I used to be paranoid at one time of someone hacking into my account and deleting all my posts.
That multicolored square at the bottom of my page does let me know who all are visiting my blog.
That figure for the number of hits is slightly bloated by my visits to the blog.
I find it very hard to let go of my last posts.
I wait around anxiously checking my post every 5 minutes till I see the first comment on it.
If it wouldnt have been for totti 148 thoughts would have died a quiet death within this restless mind of mine.

Food for thought ... or thoughts for food

2006-05-07T08:38:00.000-04:00

Sorry has gotta be one of God's most fascinating creations or something made in devil's own workshop.

With an appreciative audience in place ........ lightening can indeed strike the same placetwice.

C (N,2)

2006-05-05T12:24:00.000-04:00

People, billions of them going about their own lives who would appear as queer lil dots for someone watching our lives from a distance. These dots move about in their predefined spaces. Some of these dots dare to dream big and they step up the rung to get noticed by other dots often leaving behind trails people fondly refer to as legacies. These dots go about crisscrossing with other dots. In fact do we ever realize how many lives we touch or could touch in a single day. Come to think of it say there were N people in this world of ours and everybody met everyone a simple math would put that number close to C(N,2). However that's would a case of exalted exaggeration. But still we do cross so many lives without ever bothering to think about them. Come to think of it you would cross the paths of hundreds of new people every single day and you wouldn't ever get to know them save for a stray road accident, a dropped wallet, a misdialed phonecall etc. As a kid it always fascinated me to just observe people and try to imagine what would be going on in their lives at that particular moment. So even as I drove around with dad on the streets, I used to just observe people sitting up in the back-seat. Now don't imagine me as one of those weird 'Haley Joel Osment' kinda kids but then I thought it was a great way to kill time to guess and second guess people. To try and imagine what their professions were, if that scowl on their faces was due to a bad day at work, whether that radiant glow was a ' it's not Dove, it's LOVE' statements etc. Often I would just smile at faces passing in cars wanting to get someplace they didn't want to be in the first place, at faces bracing up for the worst waiting around in the doctor's waiting rooms, at faces eager to shout at me for no fault of mine because they were shouted at by someone for no fault of theirs recently. More often than not these faces would break back at you with a smile. Try it doesn't cost a penny and you will get to hear a 'Thanks for making my day' more often than not.

I really dont know what the hell I am talking abt

2006-05-02T16:32:00.000-04:00

They say life is governed by the choices that you make. Every person comes across an infinite number of choices which shape his or her life in infinitesimally different ways. Out of every choice made a 'could have' is born, which creates many 'might have been' parallel universes. Come to think of it your reading of this blog is a conscious choice that you are making right about now. I know a lot of you might argue that point saying I just happened to stumble upon here and et all but the fact is here again right about now you have a choice of leaving this post right HERE. So as I read this out to a fractured audience I would like to ask you do youreally think made a difference by chosing to be a part of a group that reads this post in its entirety. Would your lives really be any different as a result of this choice or would you just go on now with your usual run of the mill lives? Also I am guessing that almost all of you that did start reading this post have gotten around to the very end. So does it really mean that we actually do have a choice or is it just a fuzzy little thought by which we humor ourselves.

Let it fly

2006-04-25T22:54:00.000-04:00

A recluse who would love to meet the whole world
A traveller at heart who hates change
An eternal optimist who dislikes risks
A futurist who loves the tool of retrospect
I surprise myself at how the smallest of things
Will make me a picture of gloom or a bundle of joy
A complete lack of mystery makes the enigma
What you see is what you get with me
Still today as these words fly
I wonder aloud Who am I?

I heart NJ

2006-04-20T17:14:00.000-04:00

The fact that the gas prices have hit the roof is common knowledge for all US residents but I never knew it would be the new topic of my latest blog title so soon. Well anyways I had been putting off filling my tank not being pleased at what I used to see up on the price charts everyday. I was banking on my reserve 2.5 gallons to get me back home today from work when Mr.Murphy jumped out from his grave to give me another discourse on his most famous theories. My car just stopped midway on the road and I barely managed to pull into a side street which had a sharp incline as a result of which I couldn't even park by the side of the street properly. As I hoped it was just an outta gas problem I called up the Mazda roadside assistance who after a tonne of questions (the best way apparently to deal with a roadside EMERGENCY) told me help would be on the way in 75 minutes. As there was not else to fall back on I decided to patiently wait outside of my car by the sidewalk. As I waited I was amazed to see the number of people who slowed down looking to see if I needed help. A lot of them almost screeched to a stop before driving on reassured by a wave of the hand from me. A lot of them just gave me a 'Hang in there' smile. I must say I was very touched by all the concern and love shown by everyone (especially all the hot chicks). It also goes on the warmth and human side of New Jersey a state that is often ridiculed for not being the prettiest or richest. This really really cute girl even offered me a ride to the next gas station after pulling her car by. I had to refuse coz of that darned roadside assistance I had called up and also coz otherwise I would have been sub-consciously praying for my car to break down every :). All of it ended well as help came in the form of this Mexican guy who kept calling himself 'AAA help' (his only English words btw) for some reason. He filled me up with gas and asked for a fiver very matter of factedly (well forgot 'Five dollars' also counts as English). I gave him the money being overjoyed at the fact that my dear car was up and running again and also coz in some way he reminded me of the postmaster back in India who used to ask for cash as their birthright after delivering a money order or a letter bringing in good tidings.

My world this week

2006-04-17T09:19:00.000-04:00

With just about 12 hours of sleep in the past 80 hours crisscrossing across 4 states my current state of mind is getting pretty close to being a big BLUR. The past week has been a real tight squeeze coupled with the lack of sleep I am sitting feeling like I am sitting inside a giant floating bubble that I am hoping doesn’t go down anytime soon. Its been a week where I have sampled the best of what the corporate world had on offer, putting up at the classiest of hotels, sampling the finest of foods and sipping the finest of wines. Its also been a week where for the first time in my life I have realized how muchI can long for home cooked Indian food after this time I reached a breakpoint while dining at a restaurant, when my body simply refused to take in even a bite more of that food. It’s been a week where friends from all corners of USA united back at Penn State for one a common religion that has come to be known as cricket. We had a good run finishing runners up but as they say ‘You never win a silver medal, you always lose the gold’. But no regrets we probably lost to a hungrier opposition who would well to keep the trophies polished for us for the next year and remember the fact that ‘People do get third time lucky all the time, its just tougher to pull off a threepeat’ ;)

Excuse the randomness of this blog, I am kinda groggy even as I type these words out.

S*** R* T******

2006-04-08T11:12:00.000-04:00

Remember the time when he waged a battle on a 22 yard strip soaked in his own blood while you were more busy engaging in a round of Mario or playing with your barbie.
Remember how in the early 90's he repeatedly waged losing battles standing out as a teen aged 'man amongst the boys'.
Remember the time when he steamrolled your list of role models catapulting himself right to the top in a nation starved of heroes.
Remember the time you jumped all around the house as he snatched victory from the jaws of defeat with that legendary last over against South Africa.
Remember the time he waited around patiently for a desert storm to blow away before unleashing a hurricane of his own forcing a legendary Aussie to rethink the age old adage of cricket being a team sport.
Remember the time when you cursed the entire Indian team after they tamely surrendered to our sporting arch rivals while he wept alone in the dressing room.
Remember the time you kept gushing on seeing the banner 'I've seen God. He bats for India' while reminding yourself it wasn't for you.
Remember the time you discovered how underdeveloped your vocabulary was compared to your friends at college as you watched him being given 'Shoulder before wicket' in Australia.
Remember the time you almost cried as his tearful eyes glistened as he looked heavenwards a few days after his father's death as he made a return to national duties.
Remember the time you jumped for joy when he upper cut Olonga and Shoaib over third man for sixes during very crucial junctures.

Now REMEMBER nobody absolutely nobody disrespects a man who has given unparalleled joy to a nation of millions and put his ass (read back and elbow) on line every time he has gone out in the middle. And if you think a couple of bad series is all it takes for you to write his obituary then I demand seeing the revised versions of Lara's and Hayden's obituaries on my desk tomorrow. So if you really think you know his game better than 'The Game' himself then I suggest you quit messing around with your mind and wait around to grudgingly applaud him when he comes back and takes back the place that has been his for the past 17 years.

Passing thought Part quatre

2006-04-04T07:30:00.000-04:00

When you are angry the next time around ask yourself whether you are pissed coz shit happens or because you are part of the pile?

Work lessons

2006-03-31T20:11:00.000-05:00

Before I launch into this post I must give you all some background about the company I work for. I work at a manufacturing facility that produces gypsum wallboards that a majority of the western world uses to construct houses. As I sat down with my boss a couple of days back discussing how to tackle a particular problem that I was supposed to look into to ensure problem free manufacturing of these boards. I had discussed the problem with another another manager and he had expressed not much hope of handling the problem anytime soon. So as I conveyed this to my boss he sat there smiling before handing out these words of wisdom "Always remember one thing, it doesnt matter what A says or B says. For that matter it doesnt even matter what I say. Always remember that A, B or I are only signing your checks, its those boards that are paying you those checks. So as long as those boards are running you will be happy and that's all that should be influencing most of your future calls at work."
Dazed I sat there looking at him thnking Wow it should be quite an experience working for you boss.

Good looks = good books ?

2006-03-28T09:58:00.000-05:00

In this fast paced world where first impressions count does it actually help if one actually happens to be good looking. Does it give certain individuals an unfair but distinct advantage over a lot of other people. Would they be more successful in getting their cup of coffee on time in a crowded Starbucks? Or say have slightly more success in handing out some lame flyer to a bunch of largely disinterested people? Would they be able to stay on the sane side of the fine line separating harmless flirting and eve (or adam) teasing? Would they stand a better chance at making through those harmless intern positions? Would they be attracting more hits on their blog irrespective of the garbage they are churning out everyday?
If so we are a society obsessed with cosmetic beauty and we need to be looking at ourselves harder at the mirror everyday. Now if only I would be able to find mine.

A love song for no one

2006-03-21T18:30:00.000-05:00

I can't say which is prettier
My earliest mental picture of you
Or the first sight of you every single day
You say I am a good listener
I guess its just coz you are talking
As I sit rapt staring
Watching you talk animatedly
The sunshine filtering through those locks
Muttering a muted thank you
Hoping not to blink
Living every moment of my perfect world

Coz home's home

2006-03-15T19:23:00.000-05:00

Its been a little over a month since a very important day in my life went by kinda unnoticed. Feb 7 is an important day in more ways than one. Not just because it was my first day at the first professional job of my career but also because 4 years down the road from this date I plan to be back working in India. Yes that has always been the intention and the higher studies and the first job in States have always meant to stepping stones to bigger better things in India. Its a thought that was ridiculed by friends at college whenever we did get down to discussing the more serious things in life (and that wasn't very often by my count) and something that has been met with a 'ya right' smirk and 'we'll see after 2 years' statement. So well to set the record straight its been almost 3 years now since I arrived here and if anything the desire and will still burns bright, if anything stronger. Also to quell any stereotypical notions that might be creeping up in any of your minds I must let you know that this country has been great to me, given me a lot of love and respect and an opportunity to make something good of my life. Its just that home will always be home. Even animals for that matter venture out for food, to mate or to work but at the end of the day they return to a place called home because home will always be home. Because USofA for all its charms and glamor can never hold a candle to India and don't get me wrong on that one. I am sure this post would have never happened if not for USA and also I am sure any American will tell you the same about America. Because a lot more goes into my definition of a good life than just dollar bills, things like friends, family, your countrymen walking through the streets that you stroll in breeding a sense of familiarity, the familiar corner shop etc etc. Well I guess you kinda get the idea so wipe that smirk off your face the next time you hear me say I am heading to India in 4 years and send me a reminder on 02/07/10 if you are still around reading this blog.

P.S. Came across this old post while digging through my blog, thought I might put it up as I dont think a lot of ppl actually got see it as this blog was in its infancy then.

You bring sunshine to my life :)

2006-03-08T15:33:00.000-05:00

The points don't count and the numbers don't matter (and believe me when I say that)

Thank you

2006-02-27T11:52:00.000-05:00

This might not be what I was willing to say
But then there might not be a better way
You've stood by me through testing times
As I have sweated through the grind
So as time plays the wedge that might drive us apart
To a new beginning a new start
A flood of emotions that I am swimming through
Brimming on the top is a big Thank you

We are like this only

2006-02-24T20:52:00.000-05:00

Most of us go through our lows in life. We all go through the pits where we actually look around and wonder aloud that out of the 6 billions other that walk this earth with you, "Why me God, why?". Most of us make it out of those times to go on to very successful and happy lives. Ever wondered why then we make such heroes out of those survivors, why we hero worship praising their courage and grit. I feel there's a survivor in all of us and if we last its not because we are heroes, it because that's human nature to battle the odds and emerge either unscarred or battle bloodied. Blame the way he made us or as for all the disbelievers start believing in evolution.

The week of firsts

2006-02-20T21:40:00.000-05:00

The last week's been a busy one coupled with a lot of firsts. It kicked off with my first ticket, first towing away of my first car and followed by my first second ticket soon thereafter. The misery continued into a first lonely Valentine's day (I know I might be pushing it here but play along). Wednesday was supposed to my first payday but the money never made it as the check was mailed to my old address (I still haven't seen the face of it yet). The tone improved slightly over on Thursday with the successful accomplishment of the first task assigned to me at office. The week capped off with a miserable session of my first attempt at skiing in sub zero weather conditions (yes I am enjoying my stint seated on the pillow thank you for asking).

A picture does say a thousand words

2006-02-13T22:52:00.000-05:00

Indian fans make themselves heard at the Lahore cricket stadium and I personally thought she cut a pretty cute picture

Adios my friend

2006-02-11T17:55:00.000-05:00

He stared at the needle swinging to and fro between 60 and 80 markers each time he passed the '65 mph Zone Fines Doubled' signs. He never liked long drives anyways, it left him with too much time to think. As his mind dawdled, his mind always flashed back to that day as his cellphone had rung for one last time before slipping out of his lifeless hands. Life hadn't been fair he had thought as he spent the next few months spent in a daze. A daze broken by an email the previous day from one of his dream companies asking him to come over and interview with them for a position. However the 3 hour drive to the interview was always going to be a downer coupled with the fact that he had gotten a little late in leaving home for the interview. So as he scorched the highway he looked around idly at the cars he was streaking by. He scanned the road ahead for possible overtaking opportunities as he drove onwards to an overhead pass. Suddenly he noticed some movement from the corner of his eye and looked up to see this guy hanging over the guard rails of the overhead pass as if he was going to jump off onto the road below. This couldn't be happening as his mind dreamed up a visual of the guy jumping down on his car blood splattered across his windshield of an out of control wildly spinning car, he could safely forget about that interview for sure then. He couldn't brake suddenly in the express lane without causing an accident so he just closed his eyes as he almost came underneath the overpass. Seconds passed by for what seemed like an eternity before he opened his eyes again and looked up. He could hardly believe his eyes as his eyes met a smiling face as the guy waved him good bye. Seconds later he heard a loud crash followed by the sounds of countless cars skidding all over the place. He smiled and waved goodbye.

MS (my super) Office

2006-02-08T17:15:00.000-05:00

I have been wanting to blog for a couple of days but lack of any issue that generally makes my blogs type themselves has prevented me from doing so. I have mixed emotions of leaving State College, in fact I honestly cant say what my feelings are on leaving that place that has played home from over 30 months. I don't think it has really hit home that I am finally away, there's a part of me that knows that its just 4 hours away somewhere on a lonely weekend in the near future.
The first professional full time job of my fledgling career started off well on Tuesday. No I didn't walk into my office to a thunderous applause with people lining up to hear me give a big grand speech on my feelings of being part of the Lafarge family nor have I walked into the office realizing that I forgot my pants at home, nor the fact that I had been very cleverly tricking my teachers into giving me those degrees been discovered yet. I set a record time reaching my office a good 4 hours after leaving home, people who have ever driven around in the NJ traffic or gotten lost there can start sympathizing right about now. I was welcomed to the office premises by my HR guy named Nelson literally as he had to eventually drive down to a place I was parked at so that I could follow him back to the plant. It didn't turn out to be such a bad day as he told me that the company would be offering me pay for Monday and Tuesday and that I could wear jeans and polos to work (I know that doesn't mean much to a lot of you but that has always been part of the office wear at my dream jobs). As he gave me this good news over a paid for lunch, he also extended me an invitation for a lunch on Wednesday. Who says there are no free lunches in the corporate world?

Rang De Basanti

2006-01-29T17:17:00.000-05:00

As the screen fades out and the titles begin to roll you step out with a weird feeling with your mind heavy with the gravity of what you have witnessed and that's when the full impact of what you have seen in the last 2 hours 40 minutes kicks in. The feeling's akin to being punched in the stomach with all the air knocked out of you. Only this time its the air of indifference and nonchalance with which you have always thought about words like nationalism and patriotism . The movie will make you laugh, it will make you cry, it will threaten to explode that lump that shall be your constant companion in the second half of the movie, hell it will even make you more Indian. If not then you have lost a part of you that will never ever return unfortunately for you.
The first half is a non stop ride of fun and laughter where in you will see a brand of humor not seen since Dil Chahta Hai. The director takes you on this fun trip while introducing all the characters ensconced in their happy go lucky lives while he hits you hard in the second half with a change in the tone of the movie that reaches a crescendo in the climax of the movie. Aamir is going to need a new box of superlatives to describe his performance and proves conclusively that no other Bollywood actor can make you laugh harder or cry louder. The rest of the cast matches step to step with him putting in career best performances etching out an ensemble performance not seen since Lagaan. I will not like to disclose any more about the movie because I want every one of you reading this to watch this movie. As I left the movie hall in a state of daze without uttering a word for 5 minutes I was probably left with more questions than answers. And for once I was very very grateful to the movie for that.

Yesterday once more

2006-01-27T21:25:00.000-05:00

I got up yesterday hoping to talk to my HR representative wanting to go over my benefits and package while trying to push him into increasing my remuneration package by whatever amount he could. As the discussion veered towards the salary he started to explain about how he also had a higher offer from another company and how he settled for this one because the company and the work environment were more important to him. I was thinking about how to counter this argument and bring up the question of a raise in the pay package when he suddenly dangled a goodie bag in front of me which in retrospect seem really trivial. I was so enamoured with this goodie bag that I immediately gave up pushing my argument for a raise. When will I ever grow up? :)
Later that day I got myself all worked up thinking about the million small things I had to do before leaving this place for my new job I finally got myself to sit down and pen down a list of things to do and worked on it for an hour. By the time I was finished with this to-do list I was so happy with myself that i just switched on my S-Mac (that's my IPod nicknamed the Sound Machine) and just lay on my bed for 3 straight hours listening to songs on shuffle. So much for the to-do list :) .Btw 2 lines that really called out for my attention from this marathon music session:

Socha na tha zindagii aise, phir se milegi jeene ke liye
Aankhon ko pyaas lagegi, apne hi aansu peene ke liye
by the inimitable Gulzar writing for 'Dheere Jalna' from Paheli

Meri Lou Havaaon Se Jhagadkar Lee Uthi,
Mere Har Andhere Ko Ujale Pee Gaye
Tune Hasken Mujhse Muskurane Ko Kaha,
Mere Man Ke Mausam Gulmohar Se Ho Gaye
By the upcoming and multitalented Prasoon Joshi writing for 'Jeene ke Ishaare' from Phir Milenge

A last parting shot to all those frustrated with their job search. Don't give up on it, you will get a job only when you are meant to. For those of you luckier ones it will thankfully be a lot sooner :)

1/24/05, 4:18 pm

2006-01-25T17:00:00.000-05:00

Its been a long time coming but after what seemed like an endless wait, a phonecall spiralled life headlong into the beginning of a journey that will take me away from a place that has played home for about 2.5 years ...... but if i had a nickel for every time I would complain in such a scenario I would need another one to rub the two together. This entire period involved in job hunt has been plain painful, made even more hard by the fact that I didn't really have my family around for comfort who have been essentially part of my support system for the first 22 years of my life. There have been a lot of temptations along the way, companies offering easy IT jobs after a purported training period with them. Thankfully I have managed to stay strong in the light of such situations refusing to work for a firm that aims to essentially wipe away 6 years of education and the toil and sweat associated with it even though it seems like the easier path to take. I have been to places where I have met people who run businesses about faking up to 5 years of work experience on resumes. Thankfully I have refused to be a cow in this herd rather wishing to gain my first job on my merit rather than based on a bundle of lies. May be it was a combination of all the above factors which made the 4:18 pm conversation all the more sweeter or may be it was just my heart telling my mind I told you so for all those times when it had told me to keep faith in my abilities and have patience.

Feedback forms

2006-01-24T14:52:00.000-05:00

Have you at any point of time in your life been subjected to forcefully fill out feedback forms? Have you ever wondered what is the the purpose of these pointless feedback forms and whether anyone even bothers to look at them before they find themselves devoured by paper shredders? If the answer to the above two questions is yes and absof******lutely then you are at the right place.....read on. Thinking about the worthlessness of these feedback forms it suddenly struck me that these forms could be used constructively for people coming out of failed relationships. I mean who better to assess you than a person you has just yanked you out of his/her life because you weren't competent enough be it a former boss, lover etc. I do realize the sheer impracticality of this notion considering the acrimonious note on which most relationships end coupled with big mudslinging matches, verbal bouts, destruction of valuable memorabilia acquired over the course of the relationships but its the sheer preposterousness of the idea of makes me pen down this blog. Only if you could hear from this person about your shortcomings and how you could improve your conduct in the future. There could be a standard rating system on these feedback forms which could help you grade a particular individual on his/her traits from the mundane ones like honesty, loyalty, emotional availability, to other standard topics like sense of humor, looks and physique, IQ, to the other risque unmentionables. Once this feedback form gets to you don't you think you would go on to be a better individual in life who can go on and forge stronger relationships?

A Poser

2006-01-19T17:07:00.000-05:00

What is it about a certain blog that makes you want to keep returning for more? Is it that you get hooked onto its certain saccharine style and keep returning for quenching that addiction. Or is it the sheer unpredictability of certain blogs that lets your curiosity keep getting the better of you. Do you think that a blog that use a set pattern and has a certain style running through all its posts will score higher on hits or will people keep returning at a blog that rather tends to shock (or pleasantly surprise) with varied styles and topics?

Life

2006-01-14T14:57:00.000-05:00

If you could stop every atom in its position and direction and if your mind could comprehend all the actions thus suspended, then if you were really, really good at algebra you could write the formula for all the future.
from Arcadia a play by Tom Stoppard

A lot of us go through our lives either consciously or sub-consciously believing the gist of the above statement either partially or in its entirety. We try and plan our next second, minute, hour, day, year and our future with the help of trivial tools like alarms, planners, schedulers, resolutions and plans without realizing the real deal is living for the moment and enjoying the glorious uncertainties of life. Either all of that or we just suck at algebra.

Imitation is the best form of flattery

2006-01-11T11:24:00.000-05:00

If imitation is the best form of flattery I gotta admit I am flattered and flattered and flattered and flattered. Btw I gotta give it to this guy, he's got some nerve to drop by at my site and even leave a comment on my latest post. I might have let it pass but you even got my name wrong goddammit.

P.S. For all those of you who are wondering why some of the the links lead to dead pages the person who had ripped my posts has taken them off his blog after tending an apology
Btw did I mention he wrote in saying he had removed all of my posts he had copied onto his blog. But when I last checked he has removed only 2/4 of my posts that he had ripped. Guess he really forgot how many and from where he had copied posts, kinda pathetic aint it?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

2006-01-07T00:08:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite movie moments regarding friendship has always been the shot from DCH where the 3 friends stare longingly into the sea perched high above on the ruins of an old fort. As Sid tells them that they are like the 3 ships out on the sea who will head off in their own direction their separate paths charted by waves of destiny, Sam stares at him disbelievingly and tells him 'Hum dost the, dost hain aur dost rahenge' (which for the uninitiated means we have always been friends, are friends and will continue to remain friends) in typical Bollywood fashion. That somehow for me has managed to put a finger on friends and friendship as battle between believers and disbelievers, the optimist and the cynic, the one who manages to move on while the other desperately tries to cling on to a mutually shared joyful past and a lot of other things.

Friends for me are like chocolates. Most of us love them as we enjoy them for their sweet taste and the sweet aftertaste they leave behind lodged behind in the back of our teeth. We enjoy our share, identify our favorites and always know where to go back for more. Chocolates like friends come in a variety of flavors. some are like te regular tried and tested milk chocolates who are always there for you whenever you need them, some are mint flavored coming into your life like a breath of fresh air, some are like dark chocolates, dark and mysterious at first but ones with which you form the fondest bonds, some of them have a hard exterior only for you to discover a surprisingly soft caramel fudge center.

Friends for me are people for whom physical proximity ceases to be an issue. There are people whose names jump out from your phone book on a boring weekend afternoon as you will be filled with an inexplicable curiosity to catch on with what going on in their life and before you realize that its actually 1 am in their part of the world you are pouring your heart out to them. Sure there are the awkward silences but you don't have to pretend that you have another call is coming your way. You walk through those silences because even through the unstated silence, runs a thread of years of history and because you are the believer, the optimist and the one who desperately tries to cling on to a joyful past.

O Blogger where art thou?

2006-01-05T11:52:00.000-05:00

It feels like I am actually coming off an extended break from blogging even though my blog the date on my last post tells me otherwise. Quite a few things have however happened since then including the ushering in of the new year capping off a so-so 2005 that ended in my first new year's eve away from home (and Times Square) and Penn State has finally lived off to its burgeoning football tradition by earning a hard fought and ugly victory at the Orange Bowl. Personally life seems to have ensconced itself comfortably in a state of limbo. May be that has been one of the many reasons that this blog has not seen much activity of late coupled with the fact that I have been kinda lazy and my laptop has conked off. However there have been quite a few ideas that have been brimming in this head off late and I am guessing this blog should experience a splurge in posts in the coming days..........so keep yourself posted and Happy New year to all of you all.

Suspended animation

2005-12-28T12:39:00.000-05:00

The journey's been long
But I've stayed strong
The road limbers down to this large door
Somewhere behind which things I long for lie in store
I wait underneath holding out hope
Its about time life threw me a rope
There's another road its winding and long
I don't think that's where my heart belongs
I could call out asked to be let through
However a lurking fear wont let me do
I don't want him to not let me pass through this station
So there my life lies in suspended animation

Catharsis of my Contrived Mind

Yippieeeeee

Catharsis

LOVE

WAR

Bas yun hi :)

Sleep over it .........

Frozen

IF ..........

The Great Indian debate

Another passing thought

I salute your genius ... once again

Life's good

Once upon a time ...........

First date

Another passing thought

More work lessons

I am baaaaakkkk

Socha na tha

Get dressed for success

In retrospect

How's work?

I love you Antigua

Inspired .......by this inspiring post

Good morning cricket :)

Sights and sounds WC 2007

O bloggers where art thou?

Life's palette

LMTWGR

WC 2007 ... I weigh in

My Space

2006 Year in review

LiFe

Little Superstar

Mahaaaaaaabharata

Just a thought

The apple tree

DELHI .... from the back of an auto rickshaw

India on my mind

Yours truly anonymously

Alvida

Where were you when ..........?

To the one

Remakes .......... Naaaaaaaaah

Although

Memorable quotes from a not so memorable movie

So this is how it ends

phoenixrizes.blogspot.com

Celebrate Munna Jayanti asap

Passing thought cing

DCH

Just Do It !

Reflections

The Fool

BLO gger / CK

Untitled

Happy New Year

Holy Matrimony !!!

Butted out

And I wonder........

Tag tag such a drag

What's 8 yrs between a bunch of friends

Home's where .................

A tribute to the anonymous commentor

Bloggers don't fear, help is here

A walk down memory lane

I voice my RESERVATIONS

Walletary retirement

ONE 5 O

And so it continues ........

Was good while it lasted

Blogfessions

Food for thought ... or thoughts for food

C (N,2)

I really dont know what the hell I am talking abt

Let it fly

I heart NJ

My world this week

S***** R***** T********

Passing thought Part quatre

S*** R* T******