We are like this only

Most of us go through our lows in life. We all go through the pits where we actually look around and wonder aloud that out of the 6 billions other that walk this earth with you, "Why me God, why?". Most of us make it out of those times to go on to very successful and happy lives. Ever wondered why then we make such heroes out of those survivors, why we hero worship praising their courage and grit. I feel there's a survivor in all of us and if we last its not because we are heroes, it because that's human nature to battle the odds and emerge either unscarred or battle bloodied. Blame the way he made us or as for all the disbelievers start believing in evolution.

The week of firsts

The last week's been a busy one coupled with a lot of firsts. It kicked off with my first ticket, first towing away of my first car and followed by my first second ticket soon thereafter. The misery continued into a first lonely Valentine's day (I know I might be pushing it here but play along). Wednesday was supposed to my first payday but the money never made it as the check was mailed to my old address (I still haven't seen the face of it yet). The tone improved slightly over on Thursday with the successful accomplishment of the first task assigned to me at office. The week capped off with a miserable session of my first attempt at skiing in sub zero weather conditions (yes I am enjoying my stint seated on the pillow thank you for asking).

A picture does say a thousand words

Indian fans make themselves heard at the Lahore cricket stadium and I personally thought she cut a pretty cute picture

Adios my friend

He stared at the needle swinging to and fro between 60 and 80 markers each time he passed the '65 mph Zone Fines Doubled' signs. He never liked long drives anyways, it left him with too much time to think. As his mind dawdled, his mind always flashed back to that day as his cellphone had rung for one last time before slipping out of his lifeless hands. Life hadn't been fair he had thought as he spent the next few months spent in a daze. A daze broken by an email the previous day from one of his dream companies asking him to come over and interview with them for a position. However the 3 hour drive to the interview was always going to be a downer coupled with the fact that he had gotten a little late in leaving home for the interview. So as he scorched the highway he looked around idly at the cars he was streaking by. He scanned the road ahead for possible overtaking opportunities as he drove onwards to an overhead pass. Suddenly he noticed some movement from the corner of his eye and looked up to see this guy hanging over the guard rails of the overhead pass as if he was going to jump off onto the road below. This couldn't be happening as his mind dreamed up a visual of the guy jumping down on his car blood splattered across his windshield of an out of control wildly spinning car, he could safely forget about that interview for sure then. He couldn't brake suddenly in the express lane without causing an accident so he just closed his eyes as he almost came underneath the overpass. Seconds passed by for what seemed like an eternity before he opened his eyes again and looked up. He could hardly believe his eyes as his eyes met a smiling face as the guy waved him good bye. Seconds later he heard a loud crash followed by the sounds of countless cars skidding all over the place. He smiled and waved goodbye.

MS (my super) Office

I have been wanting to blog for a couple of days but lack of any issue that generally makes my blogs type themselves has prevented me from doing so. I have mixed emotions of leaving State College, in fact I honestly cant say what my feelings are on leaving that place that has played home from over 30 months. I don't think it has really hit home that I am finally away, there's a part of me that knows that its just 4 hours away somewhere on a lonely weekend in the near future.
The first professional full time job of my fledgling career started off well on Tuesday. No I didn't walk into my office to a thunderous applause with people lining up to hear me give a big grand speech on my feelings of being part of the Lafarge family nor have I walked into the office realizing that I forgot my pants at home, nor the fact that I had been very cleverly tricking my teachers into giving me those degrees been discovered yet. I set a record time reaching my office a good 4 hours after leaving home, people who have ever driven around in the NJ traffic or gotten lost there can start sympathizing right about now. I was welcomed to the office premises by my HR guy named Nelson literally as he had to eventually drive down to a place I was parked at so that I could follow him back to the plant. It didn't turn out to be such a bad day as he told me that the company would be offering me pay for Monday and Tuesday and that I could wear jeans and polos to work (I know that doesn't mean much to a lot of you but that has always been part of the office wear at my dream jobs). As he gave me this good news over a paid for lunch, he also extended me an invitation for a lunch on Wednesday. Who says there are no free lunches in the corporate world?

Rang De Basanti

As the screen fades out and the titles begin to roll you step out with a weird feeling with your mind heavy with the gravity of what you have witnessed and that's when the full impact of what you have seen in the last 2 hours 40 minutes kicks in. The feeling's akin to being punched in the stomach with all the air knocked out of you. Only this time its the air of indifference and nonchalance with which you have always thought about words like nationalism and patriotism . The movie will make you laugh, it will make you cry, it will threaten to explode that lump that shall be your constant companion in the second half of the movie, hell it will even make you more Indian. If not then you have lost a part of you that will never ever return unfortunately for you.
The first half is a non stop ride of fun and laughter where in you will see a brand of humor not seen since Dil Chahta Hai. The director takes you on this fun trip while introducing all the characters ensconced in their happy go lucky lives while he hits you hard in the second half with a change in the tone of the movie that reaches a crescendo in the climax of the movie. Aamir is going to need a new box of superlatives to describe his performance and proves conclusively that no other Bollywood actor can make you laugh harder or cry louder. The rest of the cast matches step to step with him putting in career best performances etching out an ensemble performance not seen since Lagaan. I will not like to disclose any more about the movie because I want every one of you reading this to watch this movie. As I left the movie hall in a state of daze without uttering a word for 5 minutes I was probably left with more questions than answers. And for once I was very very grateful to the movie for that.

Yesterday once more

I got up yesterday hoping to talk to my HR representative wanting to go over my benefits and package while trying to push him into increasing my remuneration package by whatever amount he could. As the discussion veered towards the salary he started to explain about how he also had a higher offer from another company and how he settled for this one because the company and the work environment were more important to him. I was thinking about how to counter this argument and bring up the question of a raise in the pay package when he suddenly dangled a goodie bag in front of me which in retrospect seem really trivial. I was so enamoured with this goodie bag that I immediately gave up pushing my argument for a raise. When will I ever grow up? :)
Later that day I got myself all worked up thinking about the million small things I had to do before leaving this place for my new job I finally got myself to sit down and pen down a list of things to do and worked on it for an hour. By the time I was finished with this to-do list I was so happy with myself that i just switched on my S-Mac (that's my IPod nicknamed the Sound Machine) and just lay on my bed for 3 straight hours listening to songs on shuffle. So much for the to-do list :) .Btw 2 lines that really called out for my attention from this marathon music session:

Socha na tha zindagii aise, phir se milegi jeene ke liye
Aankhon ko pyaas lagegi, apne hi aansu peene ke liye
by the inimitable Gulzar writing for 'Dheere Jalna' from Paheli

Meri Lou Havaaon Se Jhagadkar Lee Uthi,
Mere Har Andhere Ko Ujale Pee Gaye
Tune Hasken Mujhse Muskurane Ko Kaha,
Mere Man Ke Mausam Gulmohar Se Ho Gaye
By the upcoming and multitalented Prasoon Joshi writing for 'Jeene ke Ishaare' from Phir Milenge

A last parting shot to all those frustrated with their job search. Don't give up on it, you will get a job only when you are meant to. For those of you luckier ones it will thankfully be a lot sooner :)

1/24/05, 4:18 pm

Its been a long time coming but after what seemed like an endless wait, a phonecall spiralled life headlong into the beginning of a journey that will take me away from a place that has played home for about 2.5 years ...... but if i had a nickel for every time I would complain in such a scenario I would need another one to rub the two together. This entire period involved in job hunt has been plain painful, made even more hard by the fact that I didn't really have my family around for comfort who have been essentially part of my support system for the first 22 years of my life. There have been a lot of temptations along the way, companies offering easy IT jobs after a purported training period with them. Thankfully I have managed to stay strong in the light of such situations refusing to work for a firm that aims to essentially wipe away 6 years of education and the toil and sweat associated with it even though it seems like the easier path to take. I have been to places where I have met people who run businesses about faking up to 5 years of work experience on resumes. Thankfully I have refused to be a cow in this herd rather wishing to gain my first job on my merit rather than based on a bundle of lies. May be it was a combination of all the above factors which made the 4:18 pm conversation all the more sweeter or may be it was just my heart telling my mind I told you so for all those times when it had told me to keep faith in my abilities and have patience.

Feedback forms

Have you at any point of time in your life been subjected to forcefully fill out feedback forms? Have you ever wondered what is the the purpose of these pointless feedback forms and whether anyone even bothers to look at them before they find themselves devoured by paper shredders? If the answer to the above two questions is yes and absof******lutely then you are at the right place.....read on. Thinking about the worthlessness of these feedback forms it suddenly struck me that these forms could be used constructively for people coming out of failed relationships. I mean who better to assess you than a person you has just yanked you out of his/her life because you weren't competent enough be it a former boss, lover etc. I do realize the sheer impracticality of this notion considering the acrimonious note on which most relationships end coupled with big mudslinging matches, verbal bouts, destruction of valuable memorabilia acquired over the course of the relationships but its the sheer preposterousness of the idea of makes me pen down this blog. Only if you could hear from this person about your shortcomings and how you could improve your conduct in the future. There could be a standard rating system on these feedback forms which could help you grade a particular individual on his/her traits from the mundane ones like honesty, loyalty, emotional availability, to other standard topics like sense of humor, looks and physique, IQ, to the other risque unmentionables. Once this feedback form gets to you don't you think you would go on to be a better individual in life who can go on and forge stronger relationships?

A Poser

What is it about a certain blog that makes you want to keep returning for more? Is it that you get hooked onto its certain saccharine style and keep returning for quenching that addiction. Or is it the sheer unpredictability of certain blogs that lets your curiosity keep getting the better of you. Do you think that a blog that use a set pattern and has a certain style running through all its posts will score higher on hits or will people keep returning at a blog that rather tends to shock (or pleasantly surprise) with varied styles and topics?

Life

If you could stop every atom in its position and direction and if your mind could comprehend all the actions thus suspended, then if you were really, really good at algebra you could write the formula for all the future.
from Arcadia a play by Tom Stoppard

A lot of us go through our lives either consciously or sub-consciously believing the gist of the above statement either partially or in its entirety. We try and plan our next second, minute, hour, day, year and our future with the help of trivial tools like alarms, planners, schedulers, resolutions and plans without realizing the real deal is living for the moment and enjoying the glorious uncertainties of life. Either all of that or we just suck at algebra.

Imitation is the best form of flattery

If imitation is the best form of flattery I gotta admit I am flattered and flattered and flattered and flattered. Btw I gotta give it to this guy, he's got some nerve to drop by at my site and even leave a comment on my latest post. I might have let it pass but you even got my name wrong goddammit.

P.S. For all those of you who are wondering why some of the the links lead to dead pages the person who had ripped my posts has taken them off his blog after tending an apology
Btw did I mention he wrote in saying he had removed all of my posts he had copied onto his blog. But when I last checked he has removed only 2/4 of my posts that he had ripped. Guess he really forgot how many and from where he had copied posts, kinda pathetic aint it?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

One of my favorite movie moments regarding friendship has always been the shot from DCH where the 3 friends stare longingly into the sea perched high above on the ruins of an old fort. As Sid tells them that they are like the 3 ships out on the sea who will head off in their own direction their separate paths charted by waves of destiny, Sam stares at him disbelievingly and tells him 'Hum dost the, dost hain aur dost rahenge' (which for the uninitiated means we have always been friends, are friends and will continue to remain friends) in typical Bollywood fashion. That somehow for me has managed to put a finger on friends and friendship as battle between believers and disbelievers, the optimist and the cynic, the one who manages to move on while the other desperately tries to cling on to a mutually shared joyful past and a lot of other things.

Friends for me are like chocolates. Most of us love them as we enjoy them for their sweet taste and the sweet aftertaste they leave behind lodged behind in the back of our teeth. We enjoy our share, identify our favorites and always know where to go back for more. Chocolates like friends come in a variety of flavors. some are like te regular tried and tested milk chocolates who are always there for you whenever you need them, some are mint flavored coming into your life like a breath of fresh air, some are like dark chocolates, dark and mysterious at first but ones with which you form the fondest bonds, some of them have a hard exterior only for you to discover a surprisingly soft caramel fudge center.

Friends for me are people for whom physical proximity ceases to be an issue. There are people whose names jump out from your phone book on a boring weekend afternoon as you will be filled with an inexplicable curiosity to catch on with what going on in their life and before you realize that its actually 1 am in their part of the world you are pouring your heart out to them. Sure there are the awkward silences but you don't have to pretend that you have another call is coming your way. You walk through those silences because even through the unstated silence, runs a thread of years of history and because you are the believer, the optimist and the one who desperately tries to cling on to a joyful past.

O Blogger where art thou?

It feels like I am actually coming off an extended break from blogging even though my blog the date on my last post tells me otherwise. Quite a few things have however happened since then including the ushering in of the new year capping off a so-so 2005 that ended in my first new year's eve away from home (and Times Square) and Penn State has finally lived off to its burgeoning football tradition by earning a hard fought and ugly victory at the Orange Bowl. Personally life seems to have ensconced itself comfortably in a state of limbo. May be that has been one of the many reasons that this blog has not seen much activity of late coupled with the fact that I have been kinda lazy and my laptop has conked off. However there have been quite a few ideas that have been brimming in this head off late and I am guessing this blog should experience a splurge in posts in the coming days..........so keep yourself posted and Happy New year to all of you all.

Suspended animation

The journey's been long
But I've stayed strong
The road limbers down to this large door
Somewhere behind which things I long for lie in store
I wait underneath holding out hope
Its about time life threw me a rope
There's another road its winding and long
I don't think that's where my heart belongs
I could call out asked to be let through
However a lurking fear wont let me do
I don't want him to not let me pass through this station
So there my life lies in suspended animation

Mirror mirror on the wall

It had been a great week, life after taking some real cheap shots at her had finally cut her some slack. So much so that she had finally realized her childhood dream of becoming an actress. The shooting was scheduled to commence tomorrow and may be that was one of the reasons why she hadn't been able to stop beaming as she had pranced around all day doing nothing, a bundle of nervous energy. Although she was working in one of those low budget horror flicks she realized that beggars couldn't be choosers and was banking on the fact that it might go on to become a sleeper hit bringing her bigger and better roles thereafter. As all these thoughts filled up her pretty lil head she tossed and turned around in her bed unable to get any sleep. After an hour of similar vain attempts she finally put on the lights and decide to just re brush her hair to kill some time. As she settled herself on the edge of her bed in front of her dressing table she got a weird feeling of being watched. However she soon dismissed the notion as she pulled out her hairbrush and began doing her hair. She looked at herself in the mirror and there in she saw a face that would launch a thousand products tomorrow and go on the become the swwetheart of millions around the globe. As she scanned her perfect face with her perfect eyes she was again aware of a feeling of an intent pair of eyes watching over her. As her comb got caught in a little tangle in her hair she looked at an unfamiliar pair of eyes staring back at her from the mirror. Her reflection in the mirror gradually pulled its hands out of the hair, crossed across its chest, its gaze chillingly transfixed upon her staring blankly.
As her pictures slumped over the script were splashed across all newspapers the next day most stories stated that Act 1 of the script of the murder mystery was very realistic, a little too realistic if some tabloids were to be believed.

Stuck in a moment

Woh ek ruka sa lamha

Guzar jaaye tab bhi baaki hai

Jo tham jaaye to mera saaki hai

Pilaye jaata hai jaam-e-zindagi

Jee leta hun ek baar fir

Isse pahle ke guzar jaaye

Woh ek ruka sa lamha

A List

Some time and a lazy weekend back a friend of mine was telling me about how he thought certain characters from Bollywood flicks would make such perfect girlfriends. As we got discussing this particular topic at hand in detail I was pretty surprised at the fact at how much commonality there was between such a dream list. This got me thinking as to how such a list would have been so ideal at all those instances where I have found myself at a loss of words when asked about my ‘type’. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we just were able to say X in Y movie is my ideal girl because part of the allure of movies has always been the characters it throws at you. While you admire some of people on screen, cringe at a few others, you always somewhere down the line fall in love with some others and their quirks stay with you long after the movie is over. In a utopian world life would be so much easier if we could all pick out such a character for us.
P.S. for the record the list consisted of Sonali Bendre from Sarfarosh, Rani Mekherji from Saathiya and Preity Zinta fromDil Chahta Hai (bear in mind that we were discussing characters from Bollywood specifically) but if I were to guess Meg Ryan would feature prominently on a similar list for Hollywood. Do you have a similar list too?

Try this (on second thoughts dont)

I was going through a list of worst pickup lines when I came up with this real stinker that should make a top tenner any day on any such list :)

Are you God's most perfect creation or did I run you a distant second?

Blogservations

As I sat wondering about where bloggers around the world get their post ideas and inspirations I came up with the following tidbits.
A lot of ppl claim to come up with blog ideas while taking a shower as they claim it clears up their head, wonder if that means a strict no no for shower caps.
Some ppl claim to get ideas while perched on the most comfortable seat in the house or should I say the restroom, they claim it helps them to get that elusive final push.
Some ppl just realise that their published biography is never going to see the light of the day and just blog obsessively about their day to day routines.
Some other just blog ranting about their day adding spice with ripostes which they probably always wish they had come up with at the appropriate times
Some ppl just use their dreams as a source of inspiration as it gives them a chance to play editor thereby effecting minor changes from the original dream version like placing oneself in hero’s role even though they played the villain's sidekick and editing out the R rated portions
Some ppl often blog about their hidden and unfulfilled desires which is probably a good thing because I am guessing going ‘Sweeite I really wish your Mom would take that trip to Iraq she has been dreaming about lately' or discuss prospects of you being in your boss’s seat and owning his cubicle with him isn't such a good idea
Some blogs can be classified as the TMI (too much info) blogs where ppl like to delve into their personal lives often describe abt how its that time of the month or about how they spent every single evening of their mundane nightlife minute by minute.
Some ppl just have a bunch of pictures showcasing their skills with their cameras as they happen to be big time posers or clickers.

That's about all I had to say and looking back at it it seems to be quite a random post but then so is life...isn't it?