Let it fly

A recluse who would love to meet the whole world
A traveller at heart who hates change
An eternal optimist who dislikes risks
A futurist who loves the tool of retrospect
I surprise myself at how the smallest of things
Will make me a picture of gloom or a bundle of joy
A complete lack of mystery makes the enigma
What you see is what you get with me
Still today as these words fly
I wonder aloud Who am I?

I heart NJ

The fact that the gas prices have hit the roof is common knowledge for all US residents but I never knew it would be the new topic of my latest blog title so soon. Well anyways I had been putting off filling my tank not being pleased at what I used to see up on the price charts everyday. I was banking on my reserve 2.5 gallons to get me back home today from work when Mr.Murphy jumped out from his grave to give me another discourse on his most famous theories. My car just stopped midway on the road and I barely managed to pull into a side street which had a sharp incline as a result of which I couldn't even park by the side of the street properly. As I hoped it was just an outta gas problem I called up the Mazda roadside assistance who after a tonne of questions (the best way apparently to deal with a roadside EMERGENCY) told me help would be on the way in 75 minutes. As there was not else to fall back on I decided to patiently wait outside of my car by the sidewalk. As I waited I was amazed to see the number of people who slowed down looking to see if I needed help. A lot of them almost screeched to a stop before driving on reassured by a wave of the hand from me. A lot of them just gave me a 'Hang in there' smile. I must say I was very touched by all the concern and love shown by everyone (especially all the hot chicks). It also goes on the warmth and human side of New Jersey a state that is often ridiculed for not being the prettiest or richest. This really really cute girl even offered me a ride to the next gas station after pulling her car by. I had to refuse coz of that darned roadside assistance I had called up and also coz otherwise I would have been sub-consciously praying for my car to break down every :). All of it ended well as help came in the form of this Mexican guy who kept calling himself 'AAA help' (his only English words btw) for some reason. He filled me up with gas and asked for a fiver very matter of factedly (well forgot 'Five dollars' also counts as English). I gave him the money being overjoyed at the fact that my dear car was up and running again and also coz in some way he reminded me of the postmaster back in India who used to ask for cash as their birthright after delivering a money order or a letter bringing in good tidings.

My world this week

With just about 12 hours of sleep in the past 80 hours crisscrossing across 4 states my current state of mind is getting pretty close to being a big BLUR. The past week has been a real tight squeeze coupled with the lack of sleep I am sitting feeling like I am sitting inside a giant floating bubble that I am hoping doesn’t go down anytime soon. Its been a week where I have sampled the best of what the corporate world had on offer, putting up at the classiest of hotels, sampling the finest of foods and sipping the finest of wines. Its also been a week where for the first time in my life I have realized how muchI can long for home cooked Indian food after this time I reached a breakpoint while dining at a restaurant, when my body simply refused to take in even a bite more of that food. It’s been a week where friends from all corners of USA united back at Penn State for one a common religion that has come to be known as cricket. We had a good run finishing runners up but as they say ‘You never win a silver medal, you always lose the gold’. But no regrets we probably lost to a hungrier opposition who would well to keep the trophies polished for us for the next year and remember the fact that ‘People do get third time lucky all the time, its just tougher to pull off a threepeat’ ;)

Excuse the randomness of this blog, I am kinda groggy even as I type these words out.

S***** R***** T********

Remember the time when he waged a battle on a 22 yard strip soaked in his own blood while you were more busy engaging in a round of Mario or playing with your barbie.
Remember how in the early 90's he repeatedly waged losing battles standing out as a teen aged 'man amongst the boys'.
Remember the time when he steamrolled your list of role models catapulting himself right to the top in a nation starved of heroes.
Remember the time you jumped all around the house as he snatched victory from the jaws of defeat with that legendary last over against South Africa.
Remember the time he waited around patiently for a desert storm to blow away before unleashing a hurricane of his own forcing a legendary Aussie to rethink the age old adage of cricket being a team sport.
Remember the time when you cursed the entire Indian team after they tamely surrendered to our sporting arch rivals while he wept alone in the dressing room.
Remember the time you kept gushing on seeing the banner 'I've seen God. He bats for India' while reminding yourself it wasn't for you.
Remember the time you discovered how underdeveloped your vocabulary was compared to your friends at college as you watched him being given 'Shoulder before wicket' in Australia.
Remember the time you almost cried as his tearful eyes glistened as he looked heavenwards a few days after his father's death as he made a return to national duties.
Remember the time you jumped for joy when he upper cut Olonga and Shoaib over third man for sixes during very crucial junctures.

Now REMEMBER nobody absolutely nobody disrespects a man who has given unparalleled joy to a nation of millions and put his ass (read back and elbow) on line every time he has gone out in the middle. And if you think a couple of bad series is all it takes for you to write his obituary then I demand seeing the revised versions of Lara's and Hayden's obituaries on my desk tomorrow. So if you really think you know his game better than 'The Game' himself then I suggest you quit messing around with your mind and wait around to grudgingly applaud him when he comes back and takes back the place that has been his for the past 17 years.

Passing thought Part quatre

When you are angry the next time around ask yourself whether you are pissed coz shit happens or because you are part of the pile?

Work lessons

Before I launch into this post I must give you all some background about the company I work for. I work at a manufacturing facility that produces gypsum wallboards that a majority of the western world uses to construct houses. As I sat down with my boss a couple of days back discussing how to tackle a particular problem that I was supposed to look into to ensure problem free manufacturing of these boards. I had discussed the problem with another another manager and he had expressed not much hope of handling the problem anytime soon. So as I conveyed this to my boss he sat there smiling before handing out these words of wisdom "Always remember one thing, it doesnt matter what A says or B says. For that matter it doesnt even matter what I say. Always remember that A, B or I are only signing your checks, its those boards that are paying you those checks. So as long as those boards are running you will be happy and that's all that should be influencing most of your future calls at work."
Dazed I sat there looking at him thnking Wow it should be quite an experience working for you boss.

Good looks = good books ?

In this fast paced world where first impressions count does it actually help if one actually happens to be good looking. Does it give certain individuals an unfair but distinct advantage over a lot of other people. Would they be more successful in getting their cup of coffee on time in a crowded Starbucks? Or say have slightly more success in handing out some lame flyer to a bunch of largely disinterested people? Would they be able to stay on the sane side of the fine line separating harmless flirting and eve (or adam) teasing? Would they stand a better chance at making through those harmless intern positions? Would they be attracting more hits on their blog irrespective of the garbage they are churning out everyday?
If so we are a society obsessed with cosmetic beauty and we need to be looking at ourselves harder at the mirror everyday. Now if only I would be able to find mine.

A love song for no one

I can't say which is prettier
My earliest mental picture of you
Or the first sight of you every single day
You say I am a good listener
I guess its just coz you are talking
As I sit rapt staring
Watching you talk animatedly
The sunshine filtering through those locks
Muttering a muted thank you
Hoping not to blink
Living every moment of my perfect world

Coz home's home

Its been a little over a month since a very important day in my life went by kinda unnoticed. Feb 7 is an important day in more ways than one. Not just because it was my first day at the first professional job of my career but also because 4 years down the road from this date I plan to be back working in India. Yes that has always been the intention and the higher studies and the first job in States have always meant to stepping stones to bigger better things in India. Its a thought that was ridiculed by friends at college whenever we did get down to discussing the more serious things in life (and that wasn't very often by my count) and something that has been met with a 'ya right' smirk and 'we'll see after 2 years' statement. So well to set the record straight its been almost 3 years now since I arrived here and if anything the desire and will still burns bright, if anything stronger. Also to quell any stereotypical notions that might be creeping up in any of your minds I must let you know that this country has been great to me, given me a lot of love and respect and an opportunity to make something good of my life. Its just that home will always be home. Even animals for that matter venture out for food, to mate or to work but at the end of the day they return to a place called home because home will always be home. Because USofA for all its charms and glamor can never hold a candle to India and don't get me wrong on that one. I am sure this post would have never happened if not for USA and also I am sure any American will tell you the same about America. Because a lot more goes into my definition of a good life than just dollar bills, things like friends, family, your countrymen walking through the streets that you stroll in breeding a sense of familiarity, the familiar corner shop etc etc. Well I guess you kinda get the idea so wipe that smirk off your face the next time you hear me say I am heading to India in 4 years and send me a reminder on 02/07/10 if you are still around reading this blog.

P.S. Came across this old post while digging through my blog, thought I might put it up as I dont think a lot of ppl actually got see it as this blog was in its infancy then.

You bring sunshine to my life :)

The points don't count and the numbers don't matter (and believe me when I say that)

Thank you

This might not be what I was willing to say
But then there might not be a better way
You've stood by me through testing times
As I have sweated through the grind
So as time plays the wedge that might drive us apart
To a new beginning a new start
A flood of emotions that I am swimming through
Brimming on the top is a big Thank you

We are like this only

Most of us go through our lows in life. We all go through the pits where we actually look around and wonder aloud that out of the 6 billions other that walk this earth with you, "Why me God, why?". Most of us make it out of those times to go on to very successful and happy lives. Ever wondered why then we make such heroes out of those survivors, why we hero worship praising their courage and grit. I feel there's a survivor in all of us and if we last its not because we are heroes, it because that's human nature to battle the odds and emerge either unscarred or battle bloodied. Blame the way he made us or as for all the disbelievers start believing in evolution.

The week of firsts

The last week's been a busy one coupled with a lot of firsts. It kicked off with my first ticket, first towing away of my first car and followed by my first second ticket soon thereafter. The misery continued into a first lonely Valentine's day (I know I might be pushing it here but play along). Wednesday was supposed to my first payday but the money never made it as the check was mailed to my old address (I still haven't seen the face of it yet). The tone improved slightly over on Thursday with the successful accomplishment of the first task assigned to me at office. The week capped off with a miserable session of my first attempt at skiing in sub zero weather conditions (yes I am enjoying my stint seated on the pillow thank you for asking).

A picture does say a thousand words

Indian fans make themselves heard at the Lahore cricket stadium and I personally thought she cut a pretty cute picture

Adios my friend

He stared at the needle swinging to and fro between 60 and 80 markers each time he passed the '65 mph Zone Fines Doubled' signs. He never liked long drives anyways, it left him with too much time to think. As his mind dawdled, his mind always flashed back to that day as his cellphone had rung for one last time before slipping out of his lifeless hands. Life hadn't been fair he had thought as he spent the next few months spent in a daze. A daze broken by an email the previous day from one of his dream companies asking him to come over and interview with them for a position. However the 3 hour drive to the interview was always going to be a downer coupled with the fact that he had gotten a little late in leaving home for the interview. So as he scorched the highway he looked around idly at the cars he was streaking by. He scanned the road ahead for possible overtaking opportunities as he drove onwards to an overhead pass. Suddenly he noticed some movement from the corner of his eye and looked up to see this guy hanging over the guard rails of the overhead pass as if he was going to jump off onto the road below. This couldn't be happening as his mind dreamed up a visual of the guy jumping down on his car blood splattered across his windshield of an out of control wildly spinning car, he could safely forget about that interview for sure then. He couldn't brake suddenly in the express lane without causing an accident so he just closed his eyes as he almost came underneath the overpass. Seconds passed by for what seemed like an eternity before he opened his eyes again and looked up. He could hardly believe his eyes as his eyes met a smiling face as the guy waved him good bye. Seconds later he heard a loud crash followed by the sounds of countless cars skidding all over the place. He smiled and waved goodbye.

MS (my super) Office

I have been wanting to blog for a couple of days but lack of any issue that generally makes my blogs type themselves has prevented me from doing so. I have mixed emotions of leaving State College, in fact I honestly cant say what my feelings are on leaving that place that has played home from over 30 months. I don't think it has really hit home that I am finally away, there's a part of me that knows that its just 4 hours away somewhere on a lonely weekend in the near future.
The first professional full time job of my fledgling career started off well on Tuesday. No I didn't walk into my office to a thunderous applause with people lining up to hear me give a big grand speech on my feelings of being part of the Lafarge family nor have I walked into the office realizing that I forgot my pants at home, nor the fact that I had been very cleverly tricking my teachers into giving me those degrees been discovered yet. I set a record time reaching my office a good 4 hours after leaving home, people who have ever driven around in the NJ traffic or gotten lost there can start sympathizing right about now. I was welcomed to the office premises by my HR guy named Nelson literally as he had to eventually drive down to a place I was parked at so that I could follow him back to the plant. It didn't turn out to be such a bad day as he told me that the company would be offering me pay for Monday and Tuesday and that I could wear jeans and polos to work (I know that doesn't mean much to a lot of you but that has always been part of the office wear at my dream jobs). As he gave me this good news over a paid for lunch, he also extended me an invitation for a lunch on Wednesday. Who says there are no free lunches in the corporate world?

Rang De Basanti

As the screen fades out and the titles begin to roll you step out with a weird feeling with your mind heavy with the gravity of what you have witnessed and that's when the full impact of what you have seen in the last 2 hours 40 minutes kicks in. The feeling's akin to being punched in the stomach with all the air knocked out of you. Only this time its the air of indifference and nonchalance with which you have always thought about words like nationalism and patriotism . The movie will make you laugh, it will make you cry, it will threaten to explode that lump that shall be your constant companion in the second half of the movie, hell it will even make you more Indian. If not then you have lost a part of you that will never ever return unfortunately for you.
The first half is a non stop ride of fun and laughter where in you will see a brand of humor not seen since Dil Chahta Hai. The director takes you on this fun trip while introducing all the characters ensconced in their happy go lucky lives while he hits you hard in the second half with a change in the tone of the movie that reaches a crescendo in the climax of the movie. Aamir is going to need a new box of superlatives to describe his performance and proves conclusively that no other Bollywood actor can make you laugh harder or cry louder. The rest of the cast matches step to step with him putting in career best performances etching out an ensemble performance not seen since Lagaan. I will not like to disclose any more about the movie because I want every one of you reading this to watch this movie. As I left the movie hall in a state of daze without uttering a word for 5 minutes I was probably left with more questions than answers. And for once I was very very grateful to the movie for that.

Yesterday once more

I got up yesterday hoping to talk to my HR representative wanting to go over my benefits and package while trying to push him into increasing my remuneration package by whatever amount he could. As the discussion veered towards the salary he started to explain about how he also had a higher offer from another company and how he settled for this one because the company and the work environment were more important to him. I was thinking about how to counter this argument and bring up the question of a raise in the pay package when he suddenly dangled a goodie bag in front of me which in retrospect seem really trivial. I was so enamoured with this goodie bag that I immediately gave up pushing my argument for a raise. When will I ever grow up? :)
Later that day I got myself all worked up thinking about the million small things I had to do before leaving this place for my new job I finally got myself to sit down and pen down a list of things to do and worked on it for an hour. By the time I was finished with this to-do list I was so happy with myself that i just switched on my S-Mac (that's my IPod nicknamed the Sound Machine) and just lay on my bed for 3 straight hours listening to songs on shuffle. So much for the to-do list :) .Btw 2 lines that really called out for my attention from this marathon music session:

Socha na tha zindagii aise, phir se milegi jeene ke liye
Aankhon ko pyaas lagegi, apne hi aansu peene ke liye
by the inimitable Gulzar writing for 'Dheere Jalna' from Paheli

Meri Lou Havaaon Se Jhagadkar Lee Uthi,
Mere Har Andhere Ko Ujale Pee Gaye
Tune Hasken Mujhse Muskurane Ko Kaha,
Mere Man Ke Mausam Gulmohar Se Ho Gaye
By the upcoming and multitalented Prasoon Joshi writing for 'Jeene ke Ishaare' from Phir Milenge

A last parting shot to all those frustrated with their job search. Don't give up on it, you will get a job only when you are meant to. For those of you luckier ones it will thankfully be a lot sooner :)

1/24/05, 4:18 pm

Its been a long time coming but after what seemed like an endless wait, a phonecall spiralled life headlong into the beginning of a journey that will take me away from a place that has played home for about 2.5 years ...... but if i had a nickel for every time I would complain in such a scenario I would need another one to rub the two together. This entire period involved in job hunt has been plain painful, made even more hard by the fact that I didn't really have my family around for comfort who have been essentially part of my support system for the first 22 years of my life. There have been a lot of temptations along the way, companies offering easy IT jobs after a purported training period with them. Thankfully I have managed to stay strong in the light of such situations refusing to work for a firm that aims to essentially wipe away 6 years of education and the toil and sweat associated with it even though it seems like the easier path to take. I have been to places where I have met people who run businesses about faking up to 5 years of work experience on resumes. Thankfully I have refused to be a cow in this herd rather wishing to gain my first job on my merit rather than based on a bundle of lies. May be it was a combination of all the above factors which made the 4:18 pm conversation all the more sweeter or may be it was just my heart telling my mind I told you so for all those times when it had told me to keep faith in my abilities and have patience.

Feedback forms

Have you at any point of time in your life been subjected to forcefully fill out feedback forms? Have you ever wondered what is the the purpose of these pointless feedback forms and whether anyone even bothers to look at them before they find themselves devoured by paper shredders? If the answer to the above two questions is yes and absof******lutely then you are at the right place.....read on. Thinking about the worthlessness of these feedback forms it suddenly struck me that these forms could be used constructively for people coming out of failed relationships. I mean who better to assess you than a person you has just yanked you out of his/her life because you weren't competent enough be it a former boss, lover etc. I do realize the sheer impracticality of this notion considering the acrimonious note on which most relationships end coupled with big mudslinging matches, verbal bouts, destruction of valuable memorabilia acquired over the course of the relationships but its the sheer preposterousness of the idea of makes me pen down this blog. Only if you could hear from this person about your shortcomings and how you could improve your conduct in the future. There could be a standard rating system on these feedback forms which could help you grade a particular individual on his/her traits from the mundane ones like honesty, loyalty, emotional availability, to other standard topics like sense of humor, looks and physique, IQ, to the other risque unmentionables. Once this feedback form gets to you don't you think you would go on to be a better individual in life who can go on and forge stronger relationships?