I voice my RESERVATIONS

We can’t hope to compete with the best in the world with only 51% of the best possible work force representing the face of India.
If there’s anything worse than buying you way through education it’s eating up deserving seats just because you have a certain last name.
A glaring example of what protective reservation does is the state of Indian economy before the and after the 90’s.
Sure enough we all love a heartwarming underdog story of rags to riches but only when the person swims against all odds and not in a protected channel while the competitors are left to drown elsewhere.
Reservation is just another way of the government showing some pity love without sounding offensive.
I am not totally convinced I would someday like to go under the table for a doctor whose only qualifying achievement was being born in a certain household.
If the Government was really serious about increasing the seats in various colleges why not open special colleges and schools to provide seats for students they are bent upon providing these reservations for.
If my future was gift wrapped and given to someone else not because I wasn’t good enough but because the Government wanted to get some votes in the next election I would be embittered and burning like the rest of INDIA right now.

Walletary retirement

Welcome to my world, be my guest as I walk you through my life. Born a bastard child just like so many of my brothers and sisters churned out by the hundreds as if out of some factory. I was handpicked by a certain someone who was looking for some company on route to a new phase of his life in the USA. I of course didnt complain getting to step out of my compartmentalized world and tired of seeing the same bored faces staring at me everyday as some object of desire. Initially I was in the company of some Indian family, nice bunch them. Even though mostly old and crinkly they were a warm lot and got around well. It was somewhere around then that I met Mr.5ver and he has kept me company to date, some even say that he was kind of lucky for a certain someone and and that was what got him unlimited immunity. Have you ever wondered why I shouldnt be the single most important object in everybody's life? After all most people's strive through most of their life trying to make me fatter, in fact I am the most powerful object in the world after all (well of course if you discount the rumors that I cant buy love or something to that effect). Damn I digress, so anyways as I moved to USA I got company of the Greens. Also those cards swamped and jostled around for spaces and it was a crowded lot in there. A certain Mr. Photoid moved in too and that increased my importance significantly as I was whipped out every single time HE wanted to have a good time. Along with those cards those Greens have multiplied over the past three years so much so that I might just be replaced. Yeah from being 'The One' to being 'The other One', cant say I didnt see it coming. HE claims due to some sentimental bullshit I wont be unceremoniously put down, just retired to the dark recess of a solitary confinement.

ONE 5 O

As he stared at the packet addressed to Mr.ethan hUUnt for the tenth time in the last 10 minutes he knew he had a choice. He knew they had many other agents to pull the dirty jobs while family men like him were left alone to live their family lives. At the same time he knew it must have been really urgent for him to have been given a call up. He took a deep breath for one final time and ripped the packet apart knowing that there was no looking back. He found a Pod and sure enough as he powered it on he heard a familiar voice reach his ears. 'Mr.Hunt your mission now that you chose to accept it is to take down Nahor Ramuk, an African dictator, thorn in the American flesh for many years as he has subjected his country to a reign of terror. He shall be visiting Chicago next week to give a speech at the UN office to the global media as he defends his administration. You are to take him down with the minimum of attention and without leaving any signs of American involvement. Good luck for mission ONE 5 O and as always this mission will self destruct in 5 seconds.'

Damn he always hated this part he thought as he ducked under his table for cover barely having time to pull out the rest of the contents of the packet which curiously happened to be 6 common quarters. As he re emerged seconds later he was happy to see the contents of his room had not been rearranged by a sophisticated charge and the Pod had just turned off, permanently of course.

Sure enough on the designated day Ethan arrived at the media meet held on the top level of a recently inaugurated high rise. He pondered upon the task at hand as he walked through heavy security. He hadn’t even bothered with a weapon knowing fully that there was no way he would get it past the guards. He had decided to be Clark Kent from The Planet living out one of his fantasies and he smiled to himself at the big joke for the fifth time today as e seated in the 3rd row of the conference. The general seemed like a reasonable man Ethan thought as he sat out listening to his model for establishing democracy in the failed state but then these politicians always have a way with words. After he got finished with his speech he started to field some questions. This continued for another hour before they finally broke for restroom break. Ethan sensed his chance and he followed the general as he headed to the restroom. As he came around he corner he saw the doors being blocked by the general's bodyguards. He got past them after a very thorough security check and as he entered the restroom he finally weighed in his options. He thought about taking him down one on one but he didn’t really fancy his chances against another man who had been trained in the business of killing. As his mind raced against time he scanned the area. It was massive, which went against him because he had to get it right the very first time around, no second chances. Damn he was really up against it this time he thought as he walked past a vending machine. It was when it all seemed crystal to him. He scourged around his pockets and came up with the 6 quarters noticed for the first time how their corners were tagged with some red ink. He walked up to the vending machine and dropped in the 6 quarters. The machine whirred as the top deck began to move out. The first 3 candies popped out and sure enough hidden behind them was carefully planted automatic weapon. He whipped out the loaded weapon waited for the general to step out before he shot him once, in the space between the eyes past any hidden bulletproofs. He barely had time to jump out of the only window before the bodyguards broke into view. He counted 3 seconds before deploying he deployed the chute that he had worn tucked under his tux. As he sailed to the ground he whipped out his cell and texted out one last quick message before tossing the phone up in the air. Too bad no one except the recipient got to read the message which said 'Mission ONE 5 O accomplished.'

And so it continues ........

A trip down into the memory lane of old posts dug this out and paved the way for this post.

Sally: Awritee Mr. Wannabe funny guy consider this your lucky day.
Harry: Ouch lady is it just the morning air or are you always this cold?
Sally: So how often do you go around asking out waitresses?
Harry: Well lets see Mondays and Fridays, Sundays if I am doing overtime. What about you? What do you do besides running errands on rainy days and joining complete strangers over breakfasts?
Sally: Well you see with customers like you there isnt time left for much else.
Harry: Have any time left for your boyfriend?
Sally: Now that's a loaded question, hope you dont intend to spend all day digging up my history.
Harry: Didnt know you had all day for me.
Sally: As a matter of fact I dont actually and that's why I gotta head back to my shift now.
Harry: If you insist, well have a good day and take care of your boyfriend's girlfriend for me.

Was good while it lasted

All good things must come to an end or so they say, but instead of mulling over the impending end I guess we are better off appreciating the great run they had and how good it was while it lasted. This post is dedicated to one of my favorite music directors from Bollywood who have always had a bunch of songs on my playlists as I was growing up. The broke into Bollywood when music was beginning to make its presence felt after almost a decade and a half of dying a slow death at the hands of mindless action flicks courtsey the angry young man who was no longer so young. Although they had been composing for a lot longer they hit the big league in 1992 with hits like Khiladi, Raju Ban gaya Gentleman and of course JJWS. Pehla Nasha was a huge huge smash and it is always a pleasure when it plays up on my shuffle every single time. Their next stop was Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na one of SRK's best performances to date with the evergreen hit Deewana Dil Deewana busting charts in all countdowns. The followed it up next year in 1995 with their biggest smash in DDLJ. Tujhe dekha to ye and Mehndi Laga Ke still sound as fresh as they did the first time around when I heard them at schol when love fever was sweeping across the nation as ppl did come and did fall in love. They had a couple of quiet years following this big effort but they still found time to compose some of my favorite numbers with Baahon ke Darmiyan from a very underrated Khamoshi and Ek Din Aap and Chaand Taare from Yes Boss by them. Their music really hit the roof in 1998 as they churned out one hit after another in Ghulam , Jab Pyar Kisi Se Hota Hai, KKHH, Pyar Kiya To Darna Kya and Pyaar To Hona Hi Tha. Opinions may vary but barring some compositions like Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and a few others you could sense they were past their peak at that time. While they managed to churn out some lilting numbers like Mujhe Raat Din, Is Deewane Ladke Ko and Tune Mujhe Pehchana Nahin and some numbers from Mohabbatein I thought they got back to their kind of music with Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani but unfortunately the movie was a washout at the box-office. They started losng their prominence in the industry and even had to share composing credits in K3G. SRK showed is faith in them by retaining them for their home production and they repaid it by chalking up another great score for Chalte Chalte with numbers like Chalte Chalte and Tauba Tumhare ruling charts. The bagged Hum Tum on the basis of their performance and showed they still had what it took to compose ageless music witht the title track from the movie. However trouble was brewing apparently between the two and creative differences forced them to announce their split in 2006 while releasing their last composed piece of work Fanaa. If you have managed to lay your hands on the album you shall know that they have decided to go out in style stamping their class all over the album with tracks like Chaand Sifarish and Dekho Naa. All I can say its been great having this asociation with you and thank you for all those hundreds of songs and all the millions of memories associated with them.

Blogfessions

I was very dissed when I couldn't get the url meagainstmyself.blogspot.com for my blog.
I actually had to check the spelling of 'catharsis' before titling my blog.
I used to be paranoid at one time of someone hacking into my account and deleting all my posts.
That multicolored square at the bottom of my page does let me know who all are visiting my blog.
That figure for the number of hits is slightly bloated by my visits to the blog.
I find it very hard to let go of my last posts.
I wait around anxiously checking my post every 5 minutes till I see the first comment on it.
If it wouldnt have been for totti 148 thoughts would have died a quiet death within this restless mind of mine.

Food for thought ... or thoughts for food

Sorry has gotta be one of God's most fascinating creations or something made in devil's own workshop.

With an appreciative audience in place ........ lightening can indeed strike the same placetwice.

C (N,2)

People, billions of them going about their own lives who would appear as queer lil dots for someone watching our lives from a distance. These dots move about in their predefined spaces. Some of these dots dare to dream big and they step up the rung to get noticed by other dots often leaving behind trails people fondly refer to as legacies. These dots go about crisscrossing with other dots. In fact do we ever realize how many lives we touch or could touch in a single day. Come to think of it say there were N people in this world of ours and everybody met everyone a simple math would put that number close to C(N,2). However that's would a case of exalted exaggeration. But still we do cross so many lives without ever bothering to think about them. Come to think of it you would cross the paths of hundreds of new people every single day and you wouldn't ever get to know them save for a stray road accident, a dropped wallet, a misdialed phonecall etc. As a kid it always fascinated me to just observe people and try to imagine what would be going on in their lives at that particular moment. So even as I drove around with dad on the streets, I used to just observe people sitting up in the back-seat. Now don't imagine me as one of those weird 'Haley Joel Osment' kinda kids but then I thought it was a great way to kill time to guess and second guess people. To try and imagine what their professions were, if that scowl on their faces was due to a bad day at work, whether that radiant glow was a ' it's not Dove, it's LOVE' statements etc. Often I would just smile at faces passing in cars wanting to get someplace they didn't want to be in the first place, at faces bracing up for the worst waiting around in the doctor's waiting rooms, at faces eager to shout at me for no fault of mine because they were shouted at by someone for no fault of theirs recently. More often than not these faces would break back at you with a smile. Try it doesn't cost a penny and you will get to hear a 'Thanks for making my day' more often than not.

I really dont know what the hell I am talking abt

They say life is governed by the choices that you make. Every person comes across an infinite number of choices which shape his or her life in infinitesimally different ways. Out of every choice made a 'could have' is born, which creates many 'might have been' parallel universes. Come to think of it your reading of this blog is a conscious choice that you are making right about now. I know a lot of you might argue that point saying I just happened to stumble upon here and et all but the fact is here again right about now you have a choice of leaving this post right HERE. So as I read this out to a fractured audience I would like to ask you do youreally think made a difference by chosing to be a part of a group that reads this post in its entirety. Would your lives really be any different as a result of this choice or would you just go on now with your usual run of the mill lives? Also I am guessing that almost all of you that did start reading this post have gotten around to the very end. So does it really mean that we actually do have a choice or is it just a fuzzy little thought by which we humor ourselves.

ET
ETA
eat
eta
Te
Edit...
Revert to "et"

again
Agni
aging
gain
gin
Edit...
Revert to "agin"

choosing
chasing
cheesing
cosing
hosing
Edit...
Revert to "chosing"

entirety
entity
entreaty
entirely
introit
Edit...
Revert to "entirity"

Let it fly

A recluse who would love to meet the whole world
A traveller at heart who hates change
An eternal optimist who dislikes risks
A futurist who loves the tool of retrospect
I surprise myself at how the smallest of things
Will make me a picture of gloom or a bundle of joy
A complete lack of mystery makes the enigma
What you see is what you get with me
Still today as these words fly
I wonder aloud Who am I?

I heart NJ

The fact that the gas prices have hit the roof is common knowledge for all US residents but I never knew it would be the new topic of my latest blog title so soon. Well anyways I had been putting off filling my tank not being pleased at what I used to see up on the price charts everyday. I was banking on my reserve 2.5 gallons to get me back home today from work when Mr.Murphy jumped out from his grave to give me another discourse on his most famous theories. My car just stopped midway on the road and I barely managed to pull into a side street which had a sharp incline as a result of which I couldn't even park by the side of the street properly. As I hoped it was just an outta gas problem I called up the Mazda roadside assistance who after a tonne of questions (the best way apparently to deal with a roadside EMERGENCY) told me help would be on the way in 75 minutes. As there was not else to fall back on I decided to patiently wait outside of my car by the sidewalk. As I waited I was amazed to see the number of people who slowed down looking to see if I needed help. A lot of them almost screeched to a stop before driving on reassured by a wave of the hand from me. A lot of them just gave me a 'Hang in there' smile. I must say I was very touched by all the concern and love shown by everyone (especially all the hot chicks). It also goes on the warmth and human side of New Jersey a state that is often ridiculed for not being the prettiest or richest. This really really cute girl even offered me a ride to the next gas station after pulling her car by. I had to refuse coz of that darned roadside assistance I had called up and also coz otherwise I would have been sub-consciously praying for my car to break down every :). All of it ended well as help came in the form of this Mexican guy who kept calling himself 'AAA help' (his only English words btw) for some reason. He filled me up with gas and asked for a fiver very matter of factedly (well forgot 'Five dollars' also counts as English). I gave him the money being overjoyed at the fact that my dear car was up and running again and also coz in some way he reminded me of the postmaster back in India who used to ask for cash as their birthright after delivering a money order or a letter bringing in good tidings.

My world this week

With just about 12 hours of sleep in the past 80 hours crisscrossing across 4 states my current state of mind is getting pretty close to being a big BLUR. The past week has been a real tight squeeze coupled with the lack of sleep I am sitting feeling like I am sitting inside a giant floating bubble that I am hoping doesn’t go down anytime soon. Its been a week where I have sampled the best of what the corporate world had on offer, putting up at the classiest of hotels, sampling the finest of foods and sipping the finest of wines. Its also been a week where for the first time in my life I have realized how muchI can long for home cooked Indian food after this time I reached a breakpoint while dining at a restaurant, when my body simply refused to take in even a bite more of that food. It’s been a week where friends from all corners of USA united back at Penn State for one a common religion that has come to be known as cricket. We had a good run finishing runners up but as they say ‘You never win a silver medal, you always lose the gold’. But no regrets we probably lost to a hungrier opposition who would well to keep the trophies polished for us for the next year and remember the fact that ‘People do get third time lucky all the time, its just tougher to pull off a threepeat’ ;)

Excuse the randomness of this blog, I am kinda groggy even as I type these words out.

S***** R***** T********

Remember the time when he waged a battle on a 22 yard strip soaked in his own blood while you were more busy engaging in a round of Mario or playing with your barbie.
Remember how in the early 90's he repeatedly waged losing battles standing out as a teen aged 'man amongst the boys'.
Remember the time when he steamrolled your list of role models catapulting himself right to the top in a nation starved of heroes.
Remember the time you jumped all around the house as he snatched victory from the jaws of defeat with that legendary last over against South Africa.
Remember the time he waited around patiently for a desert storm to blow away before unleashing a hurricane of his own forcing a legendary Aussie to rethink the age old adage of cricket being a team sport.
Remember the time when you cursed the entire Indian team after they tamely surrendered to our sporting arch rivals while he wept alone in the dressing room.
Remember the time you kept gushing on seeing the banner 'I've seen God. He bats for India' while reminding yourself it wasn't for you.
Remember the time you discovered how underdeveloped your vocabulary was compared to your friends at college as you watched him being given 'Shoulder before wicket' in Australia.
Remember the time you almost cried as his tearful eyes glistened as he looked heavenwards a few days after his father's death as he made a return to national duties.
Remember the time you jumped for joy when he upper cut Olonga and Shoaib over third man for sixes during very crucial junctures.

Now REMEMBER nobody absolutely nobody disrespects a man who has given unparalleled joy to a nation of millions and put his ass (read back and elbow) on line every time he has gone out in the middle. And if you think a couple of bad series is all it takes for you to write his obituary then I demand seeing the revised versions of Lara's and Hayden's obituaries on my desk tomorrow. So if you really think you know his game better than 'The Game' himself then I suggest you quit messing around with your mind and wait around to grudgingly applaud him when he comes back and takes back the place that has been his for the past 17 years.

Passing thought Part quatre

When you are angry the next time around ask yourself whether you are pissed coz shit happens or because you are part of the pile?

Work lessons

Before I launch into this post I must give you all some background about the company I work for. I work at a manufacturing facility that produces gypsum wallboards that a majority of the western world uses to construct houses. As I sat down with my boss a couple of days back discussing how to tackle a particular problem that I was supposed to look into to ensure problem free manufacturing of these boards. I had discussed the problem with another another manager and he had expressed not much hope of handling the problem anytime soon. So as I conveyed this to my boss he sat there smiling before handing out these words of wisdom "Always remember one thing, it doesnt matter what A says or B says. For that matter it doesnt even matter what I say. Always remember that A, B or I are only signing your checks, its those boards that are paying you those checks. So as long as those boards are running you will be happy and that's all that should be influencing most of your future calls at work."
Dazed I sat there looking at him thnking Wow it should be quite an experience working for you boss.

Good looks = good books ?

In this fast paced world where first impressions count does it actually help if one actually happens to be good looking. Does it give certain individuals an unfair but distinct advantage over a lot of other people. Would they be more successful in getting their cup of coffee on time in a crowded Starbucks? Or say have slightly more success in handing out some lame flyer to a bunch of largely disinterested people? Would they be able to stay on the sane side of the fine line separating harmless flirting and eve (or adam) teasing? Would they stand a better chance at making through those harmless intern positions? Would they be attracting more hits on their blog irrespective of the garbage they are churning out everyday?
If so we are a society obsessed with cosmetic beauty and we need to be looking at ourselves harder at the mirror everyday. Now if only I would be able to find mine.

A love song for no one

I can't say which is prettier
My earliest mental picture of you
Or the first sight of you every single day
You say I am a good listener
I guess its just coz you are talking
As I sit rapt staring
Watching you talk animatedly
The sunshine filtering through those locks
Muttering a muted thank you
Hoping not to blink
Living every moment of my perfect world

Coz home's home

Its been a little over a month since a very important day in my life went by kinda unnoticed. Feb 7 is an important day in more ways than one. Not just because it was my first day at the first professional job of my career but also because 4 years down the road from this date I plan to be back working in India. Yes that has always been the intention and the higher studies and the first job in States have always meant to stepping stones to bigger better things in India. Its a thought that was ridiculed by friends at college whenever we did get down to discussing the more serious things in life (and that wasn't very often by my count) and something that has been met with a 'ya right' smirk and 'we'll see after 2 years' statement. So well to set the record straight its been almost 3 years now since I arrived here and if anything the desire and will still burns bright, if anything stronger. Also to quell any stereotypical notions that might be creeping up in any of your minds I must let you know that this country has been great to me, given me a lot of love and respect and an opportunity to make something good of my life. Its just that home will always be home. Even animals for that matter venture out for food, to mate or to work but at the end of the day they return to a place called home because home will always be home. Because USofA for all its charms and glamor can never hold a candle to India and don't get me wrong on that one. I am sure this post would have never happened if not for USA and also I am sure any American will tell you the same about America. Because a lot more goes into my definition of a good life than just dollar bills, things like friends, family, your countrymen walking through the streets that you stroll in breeding a sense of familiarity, the familiar corner shop etc etc. Well I guess you kinda get the idea so wipe that smirk off your face the next time you hear me say I am heading to India in 4 years and send me a reminder on 02/07/10 if you are still around reading this blog.

P.S. Came across this old post while digging through my blog, thought I might put it up as I dont think a lot of ppl actually got see it as this blog was in its infancy then.

You bring sunshine to my life :)

The points don't count and the numbers don't matter (and believe me when I say that)

Thank you

This might not be what I was willing to say
But then there might not be a better way
You've stood by me through testing times
As I have sweated through the grind
So as time plays the wedge that might drive us apart
To a new beginning a new start
A flood of emotions that I am swimming through
Brimming on the top is a big Thank you