First date

I guess it was meant to be
Just a little meeting over coffee
And sure enough it started off innocently
A warm hello and a hesitant hug greeted
A lunch interspersed by stolen glances oft repeated
Soon enough the words came a lot easier
Time was soon forgotten between these two strangers
They talked deep into the night
Beneath the beautiful moonlit white
Of course there was so much to catch up on
Before they realized it was almost dawn
Unfortunately they had to go their own ways
Hopes of another meeting their minds chase
As they drove back all they thought
Was that a dream or reality
Not realizing it was a part of a plan
I guess it was meant to be

Another passing thought

Patience is a virtue that you don't have unlimited reserves of unfortunately. So be very careful and picky in whose company you wish to use it up in.

More work lessons

A corporate shakedown is never a pleasant experience. Its swift, it's ruthless and leaves a bad aftertaste and I reiterate it's not pleasant. A lot of friends are lost a lot of emotions stirred and you just know somehow that things will just never be the same again. You stand in the midst of ruins still waiting for the dust to settle down to know who all still stand to fight another day. You are hoping to see everyone but you have the sinking feeling that you wont. Everyone who shaped your nascent career, everyone who was kind enough to overlook your inexperience and lend you a helping hand, everyone who channeled your brains and energy into meaningful directions. Somewhere there is also an empty feeling because you feel you have not done enough to deserve to be still standing because you were standing a few days back of shoulders of those who now lie wounded, victims of a situations that's beyond their hands and not a reflection of their individual performance. It sure hurts but it's a moment to savor and to reflect of how unfair life might be, a moment to be thankful that it isn't your moment to discover that right now.

I am baaaaakkkk

Coming back from a long hiatus to your blog is always a tricky situation. Its almost like having to shoulder the burden of expectations of all those people who have visited your blog in the meantime hoping to see something new and returning disappointed to see the same post. Thankfully in my case this number is not a very big one but I do kinda feel the pressure of having to write something really meaningful, moving or even funny on my comeback post. You feel the eyes of many peeled on this new post almost like critics have theirs on the comeback of some movie star after a self announced retirement. Except that in my case I have never been a big star of the blogosphere and neither did I ever announce my retirement. My self induced hibernation was borne out of lack of ideas and motivation to pen a post. Anyways enough about that, this post came about as a result of concerned enquiries at my change of status on orkut. It didn't take much long for congratulatory messages to start pouring in very strangely from some who knew about my girlfriend all along. Some even bravely ventured to enquire if and when i was getting married? While on one hand I was mildly amused by the concern for my well being from unexpected quarters I really didn't catch how changing my status from single to committed translated to getting married or even deserving of a congratulations. Either people underestimated my ability to have a girlfriend or considered me incapable of staying committed to her ;). Whatever it is I must than you for all the love, I am touched and also thank you for helping me break out of my reverie and kick start my blog again :)

Socha na tha

We sit comfortably over a happy past
Seperated by a space that's only physical
Looking into each other's future
Silences being their own words
Silences interrupted only by sweet nothings
I look longingly and wonder
Is this really my life or just a perfect picture of it

Get dressed for success

The following questions were raised in this post recently which led me to think about them leading up to this post.

How do you measure Success?
Do you look at people who are considered successful and see how you measure up against them?
Or do you set your own standard and see how you measure up against yourself?
Or do you let someone else decide for you?

Success for me has always been anything that keeps one happy. Very often we go around our lives looking for bigger and better things in life to count as our big successes often forgetting to be be grateful and celebrating the smaller joys. As far as measuring success its all a matter of perspective, a classic winning the silver versus losing the gold outlook at various things. There will always be more successful, more happier, more rich people in this world so the key is to try and be more content than anyone with what life's given you while continuing to strive for better things for yourself. One always needs to set their own standards because if you measure your success by other's expectations then they will more often than not find that he / she might just not be the first people celebrating when the success eventually comes to them.

In retrospect

Stirred into motion
I wipe the mist off my porthole
The air is heavy with cob webs
A ray of sunlight still cuts through
I have had too many yesterdays
I reach out for some tomorrows

How's work?

Of late I have run across a lot of people at various states of disenchantment and disgruntlement with their jobs. The reasons have been many right from never wanting to do what they find themselves doing, to not feeling challenged enough, to being unhappy with the respect they are getting, to simply wishing they would be doing something more instrumental to the end product their job is producing. When we are growing up most of us run through different phases when depending of who we might have met recently or what our impressionable minds tend to absorb from the different media sources feed us about what exactly we want to do when we grow up. Pilots and joining the army seem like popular options for guys while girls more often than not swear by doctors, nurses and movie stars. As we grow up things however fall into perspective and we don't see India clamoring up with a billion pilots or movie stars. Our career paths are charted as we go through school and we get into our jobs with a certain set of expectations, slightly hesitant knowing that this might very well be what we will be doing for the rest of our lives. We wish to be instrumental tools doing something significant at work and bringing about significant changes. I think that's when most of us hit a real roadblock when we find out that initially we are just a small fish in a big ocean where most big decisions are already made for us. Some of us struggle for respect stemming from our lack of experience while other get disenchanted finding out that what they are meant to be doing is quite different from what they had envisioned they would be doing. This post is exactly about all those people who are at these stages in their nascent career. The problem is not with asking the world of their jobs but the problem lies with expecting everything. We need to realize that not all of us work dream jobs or not at dream salaries or not at dream work hours anyways. We have to realistically lower our expectations slightly of course never to an extent where it starts interfering with your ambitions. All I am saying is that not all of us wake up everyday wanting to go to our jobs, all of us have moments when in the middle of a board room discussion or conference call we just think that what the hell are we doing at this time and place, all of us have times when we get frustrated with trying to meet crazy deadlines built of unreasonable expectations. But the key is to see if there are any moments of magic when you realize how much more fortunate to doing something you have studied to be doing, or moments when you feel a rush hearing a new idea or at a new brain wave at something you want to do based on your own acquired skills, or any other moments of magic when you think to yourself that Wow do I love my job because it is moments like these which will make you realize whether your job is really worth it. If not wait till pay day to see if it is ;)

I love you Antigua

This was meant to be be another blog originally about another thought that I had pondered over last night quite excited by it, but for some reason I have absolutely no recollection of what it was right now. So on this beautiful day (blame it on the Friday partially) I thought I would just pen down my experiences about my recent week long trip to Antigua. A trip that had begun absolutely drenched in pain after India's shock exit in the World Cup actually leaving many of us thinking whether we should actually go in the first place at all any more (bless you overpriced non-refundable Continental tickets). But the mere thought of not having gone seems criminal right now as I sit back recollecting what has been probably the best vacation of my life. The choice of Antigua was based on the fact that the men in blue would supposedly play in 2 high voltage clashes in the Super Eight and if not for them I probably would have never gone to Antigua. Antigua is a small country about 45 miles on the perimeter and at times its hard to realize that you are travelling across a country and not a city. But what it lacks in size it makes up in the pristine beauty of the place, the white sand beaches (365 of them too believe it or not) and the very very warm and friendly people. I never for a moment felt unsafe over there or felt that i was getting ripped because I was a tourist. The people were always friendly always more than willing to help and always COOL with their Caribbean accent. Spending time in the country makes you realise that you don't really need to be rich to live life as you see the whole country in a state of constant party (and trust me its not all to do with the greener grass over there). The whole setting of the place reminded me of Goa with the same roads, houses and laid back carnival atmosphere and to top it all there was cricket because all of you who know me know by now that I don't like cricket I love it :). The highlights of this trip will be the first sight of the white sand beach after struggling to locate it for a good 2 hours, sipping on some really fine Antiguan rum on ..... pretty much all the days of the trip, the awesome goat curry which I tore into with great fervor, meeting people from all over the world and the locals who seemed just as disappointed as me about India's shock exit, hooting a very mystified Ponting at the boundary rope with chants of 'Sachiiiiin Sachinnnn', shaking hands with the great Sir Vivian Richards, almost dropping my drink as I noticed Gilchrist standing right next to me at the bar and everything I did for the period of 6 days under the sun and over the sand. I love you Antigua, missing you already.


P.S. Pictures from the trip to follow soon

Inspired .......by this inspiring post

Jo na mile to juda hun
Jo mile to shaamil hua hun
Khwab poore na kiye to bebas raha hun
Jo kiye to kehte hain khuda hun
Befikr akele hi chalta raha hun
Shayad main hi apni sada hun
Aakhir koi bataye main kya hun

Good morning cricket :)

Cricket's finally hot and happening as described here in the latest issue of the Time magazine in USA.
So is my undergrad college in Delhi ;)

Sights and sounds WC 2007

My dream list

• Sachin going on the back foot to punch a perfectly pitched ball outside the off stump ball through covers with minimal effort followed by an exaggerated holding of his follow through
• Shane Bond bowling Ponting through with a yorker as he shapes to flick a ball past mid wicket
• Saurav coming down the track to launch Murali over long off for an effortless six
• Lara pulling cutting and driving fast bowlers all around the park in way only he can
• Dhoni whacking Afridi for one of his trademark helicopter swivel sixes over long on
• Jayasuriya square cutting Ntini over the boundary ropes with a minimal backlift effortlessly
• Sehwag uppercutting Malinga over third man for a huge six
• Flintoff getting Gilchrist caught behind from around the wicket with some nifty away swing
• Kumble knocking back Afridi's middle stump with his faster ball pushed through past another wild swing
• Ponting hooking XYZ (read wannabe Pakistani fast bowler/ drug peddler) for a sweet six off the front foot
• Srresanth pingin Nel smack on his helmet with a jaffa and then following it up with a lil jig

And of course last but not the least a champagne soaked Dravid holding aloft the trophy flanked by God and the God of off side. Cmon guys this is our time, lets get out there and make the dreams of millions fellow Indians come true

O bloggers where art thou?

A Looong, looong time ago in a Galaxy far, far away ......... cut cut cut. I know these are emotional times but there’s no need to get all melodramatic right about now. The point I was trying to make was make that a while back I had started blogging taking me on this emotional rollercoaster where thoughts flew thick and fast as I put myself along with various my contrived ideas for public consumption. Some people joined me in this journey as we exchanged our thoughts across our set of blogs resulting in there always being something to look forward to at boring hours at work, or times when we got tired of pointless surfing across the net or watching too much TV. It was a fun time where all those people on my blog roll posted actively and I opened up their blogs in expectation of reading something new. But of late I have noticed that a lot of blogs that I used to visit and even actively comment on, have been going dead from lack of activity. I don’t know whether it’s a plain exhaustion of ideas, or lack of time, or just loss of interest in blogging. Whatever it is this affliction is quite bad because it’s taken epidemic proportion and stricken almost every blog on my blog roll. I have been a victim too but I a not ready to give up anytime soon. Even though I might be creatively broke of late blogging still continues to give me as much joy as it used to. So for the sake of the joy that runs across all the readers including mine when I visit blogs I like and see a new post, we should all pledge to continue to write whenever we can. As I have said before blogging is not about penning masterpieces, if it was people would just simply switch to reading books from fancy authors. Blogging has always been about people who like you managing to get a piece of you and I don’t think it’s fair to deny them their share, so write on bloggers :)

Life's palette

Life is but a gamut of emotions
Despair is but sadness in slow motion
Contempt is but an egotistical devotion
Anger is but aggressive frustration
Jealousy is but spiteful serration
Hope is but an optimistic notion
Ecstasy is but manifested elation
Love is but the sweetest potion

Happy Valentines Day to all you all :)

LMTWGR

It had taken him 28 years but Aryan Malhotra had finally managed to realize all his dreams. He had finally moved into a dream condo in Manhattan, had a dream job and was living the life most people dreamt of living by the time they were 40. His peers said he was living the American dream but he refused to be drawn into any such conversation because he always believed that the American dream was only for the outsiders. Even though his parents were Indian he had been born and brought up in America. While his parents had struggled financially with his upbringing, his hard work and determination to succeed had pulled him through the most prestigious of colleges and the most sought after degrees to the life he was currently living. He had grown up in this country which he had always thought of as his own and inspite taunts and slurs at his early school days he had always regarded himself as an American. He often heard people praising him or bringing him down on how well he had adopted the culture but in his mind there had been no choice. He was the way he was, having no real attachment to his parent's homeland often feeling very out of place on the two occasions that he was ever down there. He was lost in this chain of thoughts till he braked sharply bringing the red light ahead of him into focus. He smiled to himself as to how easily he let himself float in these train of thoughts.

It was then that his attention was drawn to the light on the dial of his new beamer indicating time for a refill on the gas. He decided to pull into the new gas station that just opened the day before and whose low prices had caught his attention immediately. As he pulled into the station he noticed that it was owned by a bunch of Indians and he got that funny feeling again. The feeling he always used to get being around people from his own country, a feeling that they somehow wanted to connect with him being from his country, and him feeling as if he had nothing to give back in return because he was someone else. He wished they would stop greeting him with eyes that seemed warmer than they would be for others and that lit up when seeing someone from their own country in a foreign land. His hand immediately reached out to turn his I Pod from the Bollywood songs he was playing to some heavy metal music. Bollywood songs were something that he considered were passed down in his genes and even as he grew up he somehow found it very hard to give up on his fondness for all Bollywood songs just like his mom. It made up for more than half his music collection on his brand new I Pod and he took it along with him wherever he went in his car. However he felt kinda odd when driving up his car to this station for some reason and for reasons unknown to him he changed the music from Indian music to some English songs he didn’t enjoy as much too. He even surprised himself when he found himself behaving in a detached and indifferent manner to the old man attending to him and left without so much as responding to his greeting as he drove off from the station. He found this feeling overcoming him every time he drove through that the station in the months thereafter. He got all uncomfortable everytime making sure he changed his preferred Bollywood play list on his I Pod to the not so preferred rock and metal play lists everytime he got there and avoided making too much eye contact with the old man who greeted him very warmly everytime he attended to him. He would have actually stopped going there altogether if the station wasn’t right next to his home and if it wasn’t so much cheaper than the other ones.

A lot had been happening in Aryan Malhotra’s private life since moving to Manhattan about six months back. His wife was expecting their first child and reading up all those baby care self-help books took up whatever time his busy work left him in the day. He was really looking forward to the baby personally and everything seemed to be progressing smoothly. So he was surprised when he was woken up 2 days before the expected date of delivery by his wife as she was complaining of labor pains. He immediately rushed out of the bed and was ready with his SUV pulled out in front of the house in minutes. He got his wife into the vehicle and soon enough he was driving as fast as he could to the nearby hospital. On the way he noticed that he was out of gas and decided that it was better to load up rather than be stranded on the road. He pulled into the gas station he had frequented so often grudgingly in the past six months. Sure enough he was greeted by the old man again but he was the last thing on his mind as he wanted to drive away towards the hospital as soon as possible. As soon as the man finished pumping he dug into his pockets to pay for the gas. It was then that he discovered that in his hurry to get out of the house he had forgotten to carry his wallet. He looked around desperately for some cash in his car but was not able to find none. He was a good 10 miles away from his house and there was no ways he could go back home in this situation. Also he had to get to the hospital as soon as possible with his wife writhing in pain in the backseat. His mind went absolutely blank as he sized up his options. Right then the old man who probably had been observing all this commotion from inside came out and walked up to his window. He said he understood the situation and it was ok if he came back later to pay for the gas. Also he insisted that he should rush to the hospital as soon as possible. Tears welled up in Aran’s eyes as he couldn’t thank the old man enough. The old man just smiled and said "Aaakhir ek hindustani hi to hindustani ke kaam aata hai" (In times of need an Indian comes to the aid of another) . Almost as if on cue strains of shehnai from 'Ye jo des hai tera' wafted through his I Pod in his vehicle. He smirked and muttered under his breath "Damn you Steve Jobs, almost spot on with your timing aren’t you?”.

WC 2007 ... I weigh in

Why we can't go the distance? (the part where I exhibit my ignorance for the game)

Recent lack of one day form mostly stemming from an lack of any top or middle order batsman exhibiting any rich and consistent run of form.
Early run in with Sri Lanka who wont prove easy pushovers considering their recent run of very good form during which they have won bowl matches with the bat and ball, coupled with the fact that they have one of the most suited bowling attacks for West Indian pitches.
Aussie aussie aussie ... one of the most dominating and overpowering influences in any sport ever who are constantly evolving in a better and smarter species threatening to kill audience interest in the game due to their dominance.

Why we might just pull it off? (the part where I prove cricket is ingrained in my blood)

We have shown that we often perform better when players are unshackled in their minds and not having the burden of expectations weighing on their minds.
The pitches should suit our batting having seen similar surfaces at home. Also in last few editions senior batsmen have shown a tendency to put their hand up and carry the team through in big tournaments.
Senior cricketers including Sachin, Dravid, Ganguly and Kumble hopefully playing like men possessed with the knowledge that it might be their last shot at the biggest prize in the game.

Very obviously I am praying for the latter and hoping we do pull off a miracle victory which will provide the greatest joy to India since probably the Kargil victory. I shall be down there in the Caribbean egging on our team ....... hope to catch you there in person or in spirit too :)

My Space

Pushed
As we flail around
Seeking our very own
Sometimes we all
Fall through
Those very spaces

2006 Year in review

As another year goes past it’s that time of the year when you sit back and try and make sense of how fast time whizzed by and take a little break and recap. To say that it’s been one of the most momentous years in my life both professionally and personally would just be stating the obvious. It just seems like yesterday when I stood watching fireworks at college at the stroke of midnight muttering a silent prayer to essentially anyone who cared to hear to land a job of my choice. A pity that I don’t remember what I muttered because it must have been one heck of a prayer. By the end of January I had a shot at working at a place that let me use all of my acquired education and let me be a real engineer. Along with it came a move away from my home away from home at Penn State to a state which is often looked down upon for its crime, diversity, pollution and traffic. Also I made the single biggest purchase ever of my life and bought my car which was to be the sole apple of my eye till later in the year someone comprehensively acquired sole rights to that title. Being my first professional outing I was kind of cautious at how I would be received at work but I was glad to meet these warm and diverse set of people over there. Most of them were very welcoming and it helped me ease into my professional position. The traffic of course brought along with it its own set of problems and the car bore the brunt of it. But it helped me emerge as a more cautious and more empathetic driver at the end of the year. As the months rolled by I slowly got out of my lonely existence in NJ, I discovered Edison (its India away from India for the uninitiated), located a lot of friends from India who I hadn’t even heard from for over 8 years and life was looking really good. But nothing quite prepared me for the sequence of events that unfolded past July and someone with the cutest and unassuming of smiles leapt up from the comments section of my blog straight into my life. It was stuff fairy tales are made out of and it’s a joy to be living it every single day since then. The ending of the year was marked by a meeting with one of my best friend from Delhi and a trip to India thereafter. The trip of course deserves may other posts but it would suffice to say that it felt good to be 'home' home on this discovery.

My blogging frequency might have gone down during the past year due to a variety of reasons like lack of time, lack of creativity or simply lack of inspiration but I am just glad that I still pen down every word on every post with the same sincerity as I did on my first post and I still blog for the same reasons that I had at any time before. So here's to a many other posts and hope I can do a rundown again next year thanks in no small part to this blog.

Wishing you all a very happy new year :)

LiFe

Life's a neat combination of simplified complications and complicated simplifications

Little Superstar

Youtube rocks :)