Friday, July 14, 2006

Holy Matrimony !!!

What's going on with the world. It's as if the universe is conspiring to take all the happy single people around me and bind them into pairs of bickering couples for life. Its amazing how many people I have known in the recent past are suddenly getting hitched. A lot of my friends from high school who I have caught up with recently have been happily married for a while, a few from college have suspiciously changed their statuses on their online profiles without bothering to inform me of the news until they are prodded to cough up the dough and last but not the least I discovered number of friends from grad school are getting on this bandwagon too. All
this time while I have hit with a rush of these developments all I seem to be asking these people first up is what's the big rush? (of course I follow it up with a sheepish congratulatory message later). All those people you do realize that there's no more unlimited cricket weekends for you, forget about golf, no beer pong nights, your mom and dad's numbers will be demoted from speed dial #1, a violent end shall befall your 'Frank the Tank' days, your prime time TV watching will switch from Monday night football Chappelle's Show and South park to Desperate Housewives and Lost etc etc. So its time you re evaluate all this in the light of the above and think whether all of it is worth it for that Bachelor's party. I know I am not painting a pretty picture but no one said it would be one :).

I knew a lot of them are goaded into holy matrimony by insistent parents but I think all those moms and dads get into the act only by a hidden desire to play God looking at all those tones of profiles of suitable boys and girls before they pick one out of a surrogate swayamvar. And yes those 'desire to play God' genes do manifest in you all too when you drive deliberately at 5 above at 70 in a 65 zone just because you feel like it. So anyways all this talk of my friends getting hitched somehow made its way to my Dad's ears and what followed was this conversation I had been dreading.

Dad: Don't you think you should get settled now
Me: Oh cmon Dad not you
Dad: But no seriously you think I should start looking unless you have
other plans.
Me: Oh camaaaaan I cant believe we are having this conversation, I am good for another 3 yrs plzzz.
Dad: Ok ok we will talk abt it when you come to India
Me: I am sooo not looking fwd to that conversation.

Et tu Dad I thought you guys were COOL, however 6 months (abt the time when I shall be flying to Delhi) is a loooong enough time for anyone to forget a phone conversation right?

33 comments:

Point 5 said...

Lol !! Hope your orkut status doesnt change after your visit to India....

totti said...

Mom : So, what did he say?
Dad : he said it still a long time and that we will forget the phone conv.
Mom : Excellent,Excellent. Everything according to the plan.
Dad : yes, yes. A few more days for round 2 and the next thing he will be asking for her email id..*muhahah*..

A premonition of things to come :))

totti said...

Can you keep adding more songs to this Ipod thing ? (on the right side). i think right now you have 17 songs, right? whats the deal with it?

Madame Mahima said...

mom : mahi..we have a rishtaa..
me: cool!
mom: huh? ure not angry?
me: no..why? is he that ugly?
mom: nono...
me: then cool!

my mom got more freaked out than i did!


and forget ure dad..ure moms gonna be 10 times more excited about it..and i agree with point 5..i have a sneaky feeling ure status will change after visiting india =D

Rohan Kumar said...

@Point 5 I hope so too, m guesing its just a minor flash in an unwanted pan :)

@totti I cant even argue man, you are the expert ;)
I shall put up more songs for sure , hope you know if you hit the display menu button and hit music on it you can see the entire playlist at once and play whatever song you want out of the entire lot

@Mahi Bets on that tpic open the same day I get my plane ticket in my hand and just to make it interesting I shall be giving you 5:1 odds ;)

M (tread softly upon) said...

heh heh heh! Don't see your parents forgetting this phone conversation anytime soon :)) If you ask me this was premediated and the green signal they were looking for to finding you a bride. Totally agree with point 5 and totti on that.

Raindrop said...

Yup, not much hope for you there, I'm afraid. It's a conversation they've rehearsed over and over in their heads ever since you were old enough to say boo.

I can't say I sympathize much though. Marriage is my ultimate bondage fantasy:P

Ekta said...

hah!
Well I can understand and relte to this post!
But trust me parents never forget these things!
its like a bug..when it gets to their heads..it keeps playing on and on!!
Anywayz all the best!:-)

Rohan Kumar said...

@M Oh cmon u r sposed to be onn my side ;)

@Raindrop Dont worry I am an eternal optimist and I should work something out by the time I land there.
Also no bondage fantasies last for a lifetime ;)

@Ekta I m guessing u have gone thru the whole routine with more a calamitious end ;), and I need all the wishes I can get thnk u

Raindrop said...

Hehe, mine do! ;)

Lucky you, Ekta. I'd kill to be married. And I mean that quite literally. I think the next time I meet an eligible guy who meets all my requirements, I'll threaten to kill him unless he marries me. Ancient kings used to do that with women all the time, so I don't see why I can't.

Subash said...

I have never understood the part about insistent parents... Could someone be so easily talked into making a life-changing decision that easily? personally I don't think so.. I don't intend to get hitched.. ever. (Its a whole another thing that no chick would want to, anyway).. But I think I cannot be talked into it. I have spent quite a bit of time thinking of the pros and cons of marriage.. and the only conclusion I could come to was, I want to stay single all my life. Marriae/wedding is an out-dated, irrelevant custom anyway, IMO.

Anand said...

Am married and Now I see your pt..;-)

Rohan Kumar said...

@Raindrop Well guess u know why they 'ancient' then ;)

@Subash 'I have never understood the part about insistent parents... Could someone be so easily talked into making a life-changing decision that easily?' Guess you havent hrd abt the escapades of a famous footballer (only by name) in 16801. Although I dont agreee with it being an outdated custom I do agree it is a personal choice that we all need to excercise as per our own free will

@Anand Ah you fell to the temptation of that bachelor party, wish you a happy married life (watching Desperate Housewives :) )

@nihal That's not true, its only coz of our mindset with what 'settled' refers to. And you seem to be friends with Salman Khan ;)

M (tread softly upon) said...

Of course I'm on your side Rohan. But that's not going to stop me from siting back and watch this age-old story unfold :) I can even imagine the script to this show. Good luck!

Jinguchakka said...

I am fully with you! :-)
You touch my very soul!
lol.

ligne said...

good luck with that! refusing proposals bit.. :)

Madame Mahima said...

actually come to think of it, u SHOULD be settling down right? i mean you're like 35 years old right? thats OLD.

also before u get hitched, make sure the girl is nice and normal and if she comes in with tea and biscuits and her mom says 'X ne yeh sab apne haathon se banaya', you know what to say.
also make sure she's not a doormat at first coz then you can be pretty sure she'll be a nightmare after marriage.

oh and yea u can be DEAD SURE that when you get home, your mom will have AT LEAST 5 pictures of potentials to show u :P
'welcome home beta! pick a wife!'

Rohan Kumar said...

@M You make it sound like some new show Kkohan premeired on TV ;), trust me it wont be half as bad as those Kekta Kapor soaps

@Jinguchakka Ah it seems someone else facing similar problems, hold strong buddy :)

@ligne Noooooooo hopefully it wont come down to that

@Mahima I still aint as 'old' as a 45 yr old and infinitely more concerened abt her marriage Sporean girl ;). Good thing the last 5 pics I sent in were in my fav Govinda getups wearing the Trump wig

Raindrop said...

35!!
Damn.
That's as ancient as those kings I was talking about.

Rohan Kumar said...

@Raindrop That was a joke that not everyone was sposed to get anyways (mahi I'll so kill you for this), lighten up exactly a decade on those kings and you wud get me

Madame Mahima said...

tee hee rohan got called ooold
tee hee
*mahi's work here is done*

btw who's this 45 year old lady you talk of? why are you talking to such older women? mrs kumar is going to know about this

regards,
22 year old mahi

Madame Mahima said...

tee hee rohan got called ooold
tee hee
*mahi's work here is done*

btw who's this 45 year old lady you talk of? why are you talking to such older women? mrs kumar is going to know about this

regards,
22 year old mahi

Rohan Kumar said...

@mahi You wait and watch, btw in case you were wondering there's no Mrs.Kumar so bah nanananana naa naa. Also 2 wrongs dont make a right and neither does making 2 false statements for added effect, so you stay 45 as you have for the last 5 years.

janani said...

Hey send me an invitation ok? :-)

Madame Mahima said...

you nut i was talking about your MOTHER.

oh shutup
-Still 22 years young Mahi

Raindrop said...

A decade, hmm. So that makes you 25, but multiply that by the ratio of the average life expectancy of a woman to the average life expectancy of a man, and that gives you your true age. 26.81 years.

Because women live longer, HAH!

Rohan Kumar said...

@ps Gear up for the next episode of 'Trading Places' then

@janani No I wont coz there isnt goin to be any marriage ;)

@Still 22 since 1922 Mahi And yes my Mom isnt Mrs.Kumar indeed

@Raindrop Even though u kinda lost me on that one I am sure, I am sure the stats are skewed by a lot of men living with women who end up dying young :)

Raindrop said...

Um, it was this thing I invented when I once dated a guy younger than me. :P

I didn't want to think of myself as a cradle snatcher.

Raindrop said...

And Mahi, you're a little baby! 22! :)

Casablanca said...

But then who will agree to marry you in the first place? ;)

Rohan Kumar said...

@Raindrop Convoluted but as long as it works for you ;)

@Casablanca Let me cross the bridges when I come to them (for that matter when I wish to cross the river) ;)

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