Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Suspended animation

The journey's been long
But I've stayed strong
The road limbers down to this large door
Somewhere behind which things I long for lie in store
I wait underneath holding out hope
Its about time life threw me a rope
There's another road its winding and long
I don't think that's where my heart belongs
I could call out asked to be let through
However a lurking fear wont let me do
I don't want him to not let me pass through this station
So there my life lies in suspended animation

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Mirror mirror on the wall

It had been a great week, life after taking some real cheap shots at her had finally cut her some slack. So much so that she had finally realized her childhood dream of becoming an actress. The shooting was scheduled to commence tomorrow and may be that was one of the reasons why she hadn't been able to stop beaming as she had pranced around all day doing nothing, a bundle of nervous energy. Although she was working in one of those low budget horror flicks she realized that beggars couldn't be choosers and was banking on the fact that it might go on to become a sleeper hit bringing her bigger and better roles thereafter. As all these thoughts filled up her pretty lil head she tossed and turned around in her bed unable to get any sleep. After an hour of similar vain attempts she finally put on the lights and decide to just re brush her hair to kill some time. As she settled herself on the edge of her bed in front of her dressing table she got a weird feeling of being watched. However she soon dismissed the notion as she pulled out her hairbrush and began doing her hair. She looked at herself in the mirror and there in she saw a face that would launch a thousand products tomorrow and go on the become the swwetheart of millions around the globe. As she scanned her perfect face with her perfect eyes she was again aware of a feeling of an intent pair of eyes watching over her. As her comb got caught in a little tangle in her hair she looked at an unfamiliar pair of eyes staring back at her from the mirror. Her reflection in the mirror gradually pulled its hands out of the hair, crossed across its chest, its gaze chillingly transfixed upon her staring blankly.
As her pictures slumped over the script were splashed across all newspapers the next day most stories stated that Act 1 of the script of the murder mystery was very realistic, a little too realistic if some tabloids were to be believed.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Stuck in a moment

Woh ek ruka sa lamha

Guzar jaaye tab bhi baaki hai

Jo tham jaaye to mera saaki hai

Pilaye jaata hai jaam-e-zindagi

Jee leta hun ek baar fir

Isse pahle ke guzar jaaye

Woh ek ruka sa lamha



Thursday, December 08, 2005

A List

Some time and a lazy weekend back a friend of mine was telling me about how he thought certain characters from Bollywood flicks would make such perfect girlfriends. As we got discussing this particular topic at hand in detail I was pretty surprised at the fact at how much commonality there was between such a dream list. This got me thinking as to how such a list would have been so ideal at all those instances where I have found myself at a loss of words when asked about my ‘type’. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we just were able to say X in Y movie is my ideal girl because part of the allure of movies has always been the characters it throws at you. While you admire some of people on screen, cringe at a few others, you always somewhere down the line fall in love with some others and their quirks stay with you long after the movie is over. In a utopian world life would be so much easier if we could all pick out such a character for us.
P.S. for the record the list consisted of Sonali Bendre from Sarfarosh, Rani Mekherji from Saathiya and Preity Zinta fromDil Chahta Hai (bear in mind that we were discussing characters from Bollywood specifically) but if I were to guess Meg Ryan would feature prominently on a similar list for Hollywood. Do you have a similar list too?

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Try this (on second thoughts dont)

I was going through a list of worst pickup lines when I came up with this real stinker that should make a top tenner any day on any such list :)

Are you God's most perfect creation or did I run you a distant second?

Friday, December 02, 2005

Blogservations

As I sat wondering about where bloggers around the world get their post ideas and inspirations I came up with the following tidbits.
A lot of ppl claim to come up with blog ideas while taking a shower as they claim it clears up their head, wonder if that means a strict no no for shower caps.
Some ppl claim to get ideas while perched on the most comfortable seat in the house or should I say the restroom, they claim it helps them to get that elusive final push.
Some ppl just realise that their published biography is never going to see the light of the day and just blog obsessively about their day to day routines.
Some other just blog ranting about their day adding spice with ripostes which they probably always wish they had come up with at the appropriate times
Some ppl just use their dreams as a source of inspiration as it gives them a chance to play editor thereby effecting minor changes from the original dream version like placing oneself in hero’s role even though they played the villain's sidekick and editing out the R rated portions
Some ppl often blog about their hidden and unfulfilled desires which is probably a good thing because I am guessing going ‘Sweeite I really wish your Mom would take that trip to Iraq she has been dreaming about lately' or discuss prospects of you being in your boss’s seat and owning his cubicle with him isn't such a good idea
Some blogs can be classified as the TMI (too much info) blogs where ppl like to delve into their personal lives often describe abt how its that time of the month or about how they spent every single evening of their mundane nightlife minute by minute.
Some ppl just have a bunch of pictures showcasing their skills with their cameras as they happen to be big time posers or clickers.

That's about all I had to say and looking back at it it seems to be quite a random post but then so is life...isn't it?

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Go Figure

A part of me has always been a little peeved as to the fact that all my (attempts at) prose have always been in English. I have always marveled at people who write beautifully in Hindi making full use of the nuances of the language. So for all those times when I have wondered WHY I cant pen down something in Hindi:

Kabhi Kabhi (Sometimes)
Yaadein Aati Rahein (Memories kept coming back to me)
Fir bhi
(Still)
Hum tum rahe (You and I remain)
Ajnabee
(Strangers)

Two things come out very clearly out of the above. Firstly at least now we all know WHY :) and secondly I wont die wondering. Sorry for subjecting one and all to my first and last pathetic attempt at it.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Life is beautiful

Most of us have been brought up being told to respect the sanctity of life and that we don’t have any right to take away any individual’s right to live. However as a kid as I tried to grasp the complex issues of life, death and other issues in that ballpark I remember noticing many divisions created by man concerning this very simple rule for the sake of our convenience that have probably blurred as I have grown older. I used to wonder what gave man the right to consider the human life as the most important life form in the entire chain of species. I used to think if being at the top rung of development gave us a right to classify and rank life and say that the life of a person is more important than that of chicken, cow, deer or even an insect. How can we scream murder at the event of a death of a human being and still not bat an eye lid when announcing hunting seasons across the globe for pleasure, or squashing a bug or a mosquito in our living room or even while eating non-veg during various meals? How does the eating of plants after killing them place the vegetarians on a higher moral ground to read out lectures to the non vegetarians? How can a killing of bugs in houses by use of pesticides be differentiated from the mass genocides in various countries by a hate propaganda driven government? Should the killing of an ant squashed beneath some kid’s feet attract lesser attention that the death of some gangster shot dead by a stray bullet just because the former doesn’t stare us in the face? For that matter should the assassination of a world leader attract more of our attention span than say the death of a child after starving from hunger in a third world country?
Just some points to ponder over as I tried to get through my initial observation as to how we have placed the human life above all other life forms that have co existed with us for ages even though we all were probably treated to our share of lessons on how a life is a life no matter who it belongs to.

P.S. On a lighter note have any of you ever wondered that even though we are told that the soul never dies and its only the human body that dies, HOW the world population keeps on burgeoning by every passing minute?

Monday, November 21, 2005

Posers and Clickers

After the last post and an inexplicable global out pour of sympathy and pity (which is totally welcome btw) for me I have decided to stay away from writing any posts for a while which might be deemed as remotely relating to my personal life :).
For all those who think I am here to start a debate on digital cameras vs. the film cameras or the merits of a photo albums as against the digital picture library you couldn’t be more wrong as right now right here I will TELL you digital cameras are the best thing to have happened to the world of cameras since the invention of the ………camera. Also photo albums will always continue to hold an old school charm over the digital pictures. Now that I am very that we are on the same page with regard to the above issues I will come back to the 3 things that constitute the making of a photograph i.e. a poser, a clicker and a ….camera. What is that again…..we have discussed that before. Oh ok all the more better as I can go ahead and address some real issues with the rest of this post now. So returning to the real issues we all are familiar with the posers and clickers of our own treasured world of photographs. The posers are people you will invariably find part of every possible picture that you might possess provided that he was within a one mile radius of the pic being taken. It does not matter whether he/she is a 6 month old toddler or a 60 year old veteran, whether the picture is taken atop the Mt. Everest or under the depths of the pacific, whether they are dressed up in a tux or barely finding time to put on their birthday suits, they will always find time to make it to the picture and beam a 400watt dazzler rendering all you flashes redundant. These are people who have hypersensitive ears that prick up at the sound of a camera click and possess superhuman powers to put in just in time dives in front of flashing cameras that would even put Jonty Rhodes to shame. These people are often mistaken to be the birthday boy/girl at birthday parties, the most active and ever present member of vacations, what the hell they can even be often confused as the only ones celebrating New Year on those New Year parties. On the other hand of the spectrum are the clickers a breed who continued absence from all pics leaves them fielding questions on what they have doing all these years? They are the reclusive sort who would much rather prefer a behind the scene role wielding the camera. These people will hold a mysterious majority possession of all those dream cameras that you drool over after those commercials. They have all the possible concepts about lighting, camera angles and all other possible facets of photography figured out already. They will often to found in every tenth picture sporting an awkward face forming part of the foreground.
The lines between the posers and clickers are not very hard and fast and blur on a lot of occasions with not the best of results necessarily. A poser will avoid being a clicker at most times deliberately leaving behind his own camera home to avoid missing out on being part of pics. However occasions when a poser if forced to be a clicker via means of threat or emotional blackmail will result in a lot of deliberate out of focus and horrible set of pics to avoid any such future torture. In the case of a role reversal a clicker will show up in pics sporting a very very rusted and not so toothy smile and a general impression that he/she would have given his/her right hand off to be anywhere else other than the pic.
So in this world divided into posers and clickers which camp do you stand in?, unless of course if you are a camera ……….Sorry bad joke :)

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Estranged

Here's a follow up post on acrostics.

Emptiness threatens to turn all encompassing
Subservient as a means to the end
There's no love lost
Ripples of a love that has been lost
And to think someone said it's all fair
Now one should look to the future they say
Ghosts of the past haunt me every second
Endlessly I would rather die trying
Definitely preferable than being eaten up alive

Monday, November 14, 2005

Toy Story 3

After surprisingly having made a lot of sense with my last post its time I pip the other end of the scale with some unmitigated kitsch.

One day the three of us decided to fly off the shelf
With great pride I present the adventures of I, me and myself
First on my way there was this duh called George Bush
He couldn’t even speak properly I screamed Shhhhhhh
Next on my way I saw this kid known as Harry Potter
He was worried though something abt all the competition from LOTR
Anyways I moved along till I saw this Aishwarya Rai
Must say I was dazed till I saw her pet monkey Vivek Oberoi
Heartbroken I reached some caves belonging to an Osama Bin Laden
Gosh he looked mean, I kicked is ass as he kept crying for pardon
This was all there was of my first adventure
However I shall be back if this journey finds favor
Your comments are the sponsors keep em flowing
So my journey around the world can keep on going

Thursday, November 10, 2005

S W A D E S

I love that every second person on the street is a walking map quest
I love that the traffic cop round the corner let me off two days in a row for not wearing the helmet after checking the empty contents of my wallet
I love it when my mom cribs about my neighbors not returning her utensils
I love it when mommy makes sure she sends over the every bowl of new dish she tries out to my neighbors
I love it when my mom tells my maid she’s gonna cut her money for the days she doesn’t show up for work
I love it when she makes she adds a Diwali bonus on top of the complete maid's salary at the end of the month
I love that my neighbor’s kid spends more time in my house than his own
I love that everyone on my floor in my apartments is like one big family
I love it that everyone waves back to school kids waving from their school buses
I love it when every second car I ask a lift from stops over readily (even more when the driver is a pretty female)
I love that I can always run next door to ask for curd or salt or sugar with a small bowl in my hand
I love it that I’ve never missed a day of school the days I missed the bus and my dad was on tour thanks to my neighbors
I love that the owner of the house whose window panes we broke the previous day is playing cricket with us the next day
I love it that I have no idea how many friends of mine are Hindus, Muslims, Christians or Sikhs
I love it when I see crowds in the stadium give a rival team a standing ovation during their victory lap after a cricket match
I love it that the poor water vendor makes sure he gives out a free glass of water to the street side beggar
I love when the neighborhood ruffian makes sure he gives extra breathing room for the old lady standing by him in a crowded bus
I love it when a critical accident victim doesn’t always have to depend on the blood bank for a bottle of blood to live
I love it when I see this pony tailed guy with 6 piercings bends down to touch his elderly’s feet at the airport
I love it when the neighborhood toughie stand in a corner and feed stray dogs biscuits when no one’s watching
I love that I don’t need stupid excuses like thanksgiving and Christmas to get together and meet up with my family
I love it that even at 2 in the night standing alone in the middle of a lonely alley I feel at HOME

This post is inspired by all the above and a million other reasons which make India the best country in the world and Delhi the best place to be in the world, Pointy's latest post, all the emotions that come to the surface whenever I listen to 'Ye Jo Des Hai Tera' and the sickness that needs to be classified as the most communicable and fastest spreading one - homesickness.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Life's Mastercard

Boarding the 10 am route no. 623 everyday: Rs.8
A bunch of flowers along with a box of chocolates: Rs.75
Bribing the girl's hostel guard for 3 years: Rs. 1,500
Small marriage reception consisting of friends: Rs.3,700
Honeymoon in the backwaters of the Venice of the east: Rs.42,000
Four months of court hearings for alimony settlement: Rs.5,00,000
Waking up everyday hoping to find her on her side of the bed: Priceless

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Wats cooking !

I remember back in 3rd or 4th grade having made fun of this guy in my class when he went ‘My mom is a good cooker’. I must have hurt him real bad or something because I am sure he cursed me such that the words ‘My mom is a good cook’ (as he stood corrected thereafter) have come to haunt every passing day of my life for the past two and a half years. As I left the comforts of my home I discovered that I didn’t really cover myself in glory when it came down to cooking. I mean leave aside the fact that my mom really kick ass any day anytime anywhere when it comes down to cooking and that I even hung around the kitchen a lot more than my brother (ah ok I will admit it was for grabbing the first hot paranthas off the pan or to lick away the cake mix off the beater or something), the plain fact was that I just couldn’t cook to save my life at that time. I mean back in India I used to look at those cooking shows disdainfully as to how people could make a living just cooking up stuff on TV and then getting to eat it too. I mean what was all that, it was a literal TV telecast of the saying baking your cake and eating it too and well while you are at it please collect your paycheck on your way out too. Also I could never understand why they always would never give out the correct amount of salt to be put in the stuff they prepared on TV always going 'salt as per taste' (or swad anusar as I recall). I mean what was with that, there’s always a right amount of salt that needs to be put in any dish and that is exactly why you have the salt mixed in all dishes served to you at restaurant and nobody gives out salt pouches along with served dishes. Anyways I realized pretty soon that this attitude had not stood me in good stead as I set down to prepare my first meal after coming to States.
So I decided to take it easy with my first outing and went in for a real easy dish on the Indian cuisine – the khichri (for the uninitiated it is a simple steamed mixture of rice and pulses). So while you might think that I should have managed to pull it off without a hitch and set myself on the road to becoming the best cooks ever I just have one special tip. You never ever make khichri with something that physically resembles salt but is quite the opposite chemically and in taste. Well it wasn’t as bad as you are picturing it in your mind, I somehow managed to salvage the dish. Anyways after my baptism by fire I have practiced hard over the past 2 off years at this art (the trick is to always have a taster in place who is not really 'you' :) ) and I have gotten better at it. Unfortunately I realize most of my fellow men are not quite so blessed with that kind of time or manpower to bump away as testers, or even blessed with skills to pick up the tricks of the trade so fast. So I just thought it would be fitting if I ended this post with tricks leant on my journey on how they can recover their food in case they have thrown in an extra ton of salt in it. I know this may sound like a piece of cake too all you females out there but do you realize that there are millions of guys in this world cooking for themselves who go hungry for over 100 reasons (out of which none match the reasons for which ppl in Somalia go hungry and that in itself speaks a lot). Well so back to my master class you can always go for the tried and tested adding another ton of water and telling your room mates that you were extra considerate in preparing curry for them. Another additive that can be used in these scenarios is curd, it is absolutely undetectable in the end result and works like a charm. The third and my favorite technique is to add another ton of chili powder. Any person eating this dish in its eventuality goes numb in the tongue after the first bite itself and even in case he survives the first bite he always drinks tons of water, end result being a relatively appreciative room mate who feel pretty full (so what if it’s just on water).
Bon appetite ppl (pray I can get to the safe comforts of my Mommy’s cooking sometime soon) :(

Friday, November 04, 2005

Confessions

I cherish the moments when we stand with each other
I cherish the moments when we stand up for each other
I cherish the moments when we stand by each other
In fact you know what
I even cherish the moments when we can’t stand each other

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

World's first blog story (6)

You can read the complete rules of the blog story tag at Rohan's blog, where every tagged blogger adds his or her own twists to the tale, and the story progresses in this manner. Here's my bit in bold.

He had always known that silence spoke volumes, unfortunately it was in a language he failed to decipher on most occasions. A long pause. He stared for what seemed liked ages. It made little sense. May be it wasn't meant to be. He shrugged and looked at his friend. The pregnant silence was ruptured by his friends intermittent sobbing. Today was Diwali, it was supposed to be the "Festival of Lights", but things were different tonight. "Lights out", yelled the Jailor. The lights went out and the virgin night was silent and dark again. But, then was he reminded of his lover whose murder brought him here. All of a sudden, the summer heat in the cell, felt dreadfully cold, when, every moment of his past life flashed in front of his eyes as he stared at the writings on the wall. It was scribbled all over, by previous inmates of the cell. Murderers, as they called them. But maybe there were not murderers, he thought, just like him. Maybe they were just misunderstood. After all, he had to kill her, so he could be sure, that she would never feel pain again.
He had loved her from the moment he gazed into those blue green eyes, he had loved her when those very eyes had looked at him beseechingly for the last time and he had loved her for every passing second in between. But all this was lost on the anti euthanasia lobby who had vehemently screamed murder as his case had hit the headlines.

Didn't realise the tag would find its way back home soon. The story is being actively tracked at this blog for all those who care to know. I also tag Sagnik to take on this story further.

Monday, October 31, 2005

World's first blog story

I guess we have all seen the power of the blogging community whose full force was felt recently during the IIPM fiasco. As I fully realized the reach of the blogosphere I thought that I should use it in a constructive fashion and combine it with the tagging phenomenon to come up with the world’s first blog story. Every member on the tag chain gets to pen down a line in this story after reproducing the text verbatim as it has reached him/her along with the name of the person that tagged him/her. Everyone after penning down their line gets to tag one person but make sure the person you tag is a regular visitor to your blog and doesn’t take ages to do his share of the story as in case a lax occurs in the chain the story gets held. This is not a one time only tag so any person on the chain once can be tagged again if desired. The end result should be a pretty big blog story which propagates around the world with everyone contributing their share of their creative juices. The great thing is that the chain can be easily followed forward or backwards from absolutely any blog that is part of the chain and is good fun coz everyone just has to write one measly line. Make sure you reproduce the above text whenever you add your bit so that everyone understands the whole concept behind this tag. So well here’s the first line.

He had always known that silence spoke volumes, unfortunately it was in a language he failed to decipher on most occasions.

And well I also get the honor of making the first tag. So Totti consider yourself tagged do write asap (its critical to this tag’s success remember).

Happy Diwali to all of you.

P.S. A blog reader could do with some help on the evolution and status of English slang. Ppl interested in helping out can go through the last 2-3 comments of the previous post and volunteer accordingly.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

The story continues......

I had kind of forgotten about this piece of fiction I was writing until reminded of it recently so the story continues here.

Sally: So what do you do other than ask waitresses to join you for breakfast.
Harry: Oh that's just a thing on the side, only for Mondays you see.
Sally: Impressive the resume keeps on getting better by the minute.
Harry: Add my immunity to sarcasm to the list by the way? Anyways how was your weekend?
Sally: The usual laced with all the mundanities of my life. How was yours?
Harry: Nothing too exciting, went camping with a bunch of friends.
Sally: Hey that sounds likes fun, I've actually never gone camping.
Harry: I uess its ok, hey what have you been drawing on that napkin, looks like we have quite an artist here.
Sally: Ah its nothing
Harry: No really you are pretty good. I suck at art, I used to be one of those kids who couldn't even draw that house beneath the mountains from which the sun is rising drawing properly
Sally: Everybody has their own thing, you have the survival instinct from that camping thing. I personally could never survive the jungle.
Harry: Well you could mebbe hunt down some prey with your paint brushes and pencils
Sally: Aww but I am vegetarian.
Harry: Well then mebbe you can do portraits of lions and bears and ask them to repay you in kind with fruits and vegetables then.
Sally: Yeah sounds like an idea
Harry: You better be good, I have heard those bears are kinda touchy :)

Monday, October 24, 2005

The Century

As any self respecting cricketer will tell you the century is a very important landmark in the history of well......absolutely anything. So as this blog turns a 100 posts old I shall give you all a rundown of the history of this blog.

It all began inspired by a tree of thoughts in the rundown shambles of rediff blogs where it was battle of me against my self. All this while loads of people had continued unnoticed and as I read through their thoughts and confessions that I asked myself who is sane after all? Anyways I started penning down my random thoughts from a confused mind in apparent zero noise. My initial writings were as random as a spider on a keyboard but slowly but steadily my random thoughts I moved onto a pattern discussing the days of our lives as life means drama. That’s when the blog became a chimera like monster spewing off opinions and thoughts questioning times when things didn’t make sense or did they? I gradually began to thread the broken verses of life and things seemed clearer as I began to enjoy it all. I had to it was jus’(so much)fun. So many people joined in with their stimulating vibes along the way and soon I was on cloud nine. And even though I fall into my bouts of blogger’s blocks (U should know that the lazy shall inherit the earth btw) the writing is on the wall this blog is here to stay.

"Main akela hi chala tha janibe-e-manzil magar Log sath aate gaye aur karavan banta gaya" ('I started all alone towards the goal/ (but) people kept joining and it began to turn into a caravan')
By Majrooh Sultanpuri

My sincerest apologies to anyone who frequents this blog and whom I might have accidentally missed out in that collection.

Friday, October 21, 2005

The sequel

Even thought I wasnt so big on the 55 word poem tag I did an off the cuff bit in the comments section in response to this post , later decided that I might as well as put it up on my blog.

Buried my emotions
Returned to my life
Some things aren't meant 2b
She was my brother's wife

Soon the spark went out
They were constant fights
And we made a connection
Though I knew it wasnt right

They frown upon us
My brother calls me a rogue
I know I've found the one
Anyways lesbianism is in vogue

There's my shot at 55 with a twist :). Shall not be tagging anyone, ppl visiting this blog are welcome to come up with their own versions.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

An excercise in nothingness

Its was all around there was so much talk
It sent me thinking what if I fell prey to the blogger’s block
If you got pressing matters you better head your way
Coz in this post I must warn you I have nothing to say
Would I waste a post discussing the ‘phenom
Or would I just hit back with loads of posts packed with venom
Would I like others hope to bag a tag
Would I just spew crap and just get my first flag
Guys I know this is heading nowhere you need not read any further
Get back to your important lives before you scream murder
May be I will discuss a favorite movie or a song
Mebbe just write some crap and hope ppl play along
Guess I could compose some prose
Or just give all those cricket fans their regular dose
This is a post about nothing, nothing’s new
I had warned you, guess curiosity got the better of you
Don’t blame me my drafts were out of stock
So this was the one way I could overcome the blogger’s block :)

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Where the mind is without fear

Most of us are brought up with a certain moral fiber being ingrained in our soul by our parents, relatives and well wishers which essentially is meant to help in decisions at various critical junctions of our life. These help us to differentiate the right from the wrong and always tread the right path even though it may be much longer and tougher than resorting to the easier shortcut. But somewhere along the line as most of us grow up we somehow lose track of these morals and ethics and stretch that moral fiber to suit our needs. Instead of standing in the face of adversity we take the easier route often taking recourse to the ‘See no evil, hear no evil and talk no evil’ philosophy even as evil batters down everything that stands for good in human beings and threatens to envelop us in an all encompassing darkness. That is why I feel when someone acts against this very common fallacy in most of us and dares to swims against the tide we all need to take mention and doff your hats off to him/her.

For those of you interested in the complete story visit this link. I am producing a short rundown of the entire sequence of events.
Sometime back Jam Magazine, edited by Rashmi Bansal, did a brilliant expose dismantling step by step the tall claims made by IIPM, a management educational institute run by Arindam Chaudhuri. A few days after this story ran in the magazine some of the IIPM staff barged into the Jam office. In Rashmi’s words, they “did not offer any new or material facts, other than argument.” Then she got a legal notice from them. Slowly a number of blogs sprung up overnight defending IIPM and defaming Rashmi and Gaurav Sabnis, a popular Indian blogger who had linked to Rashmi's article and added some facts of his own. Ludicrous rumors were spread about Aaj Tak, the news channel, having done a sting operation and having caught Amity, a rival of IIPM, giving money to Rashmi to do the story. Rashmi posted on the matter, and filthy comments were left on that post. Meanwhile it just so happened that IIPM was a big client IBM, Gaurav's employer, having purchased a huge bunch of laptops from them. In the light of this scenario Gaurav was given the following options by his employers – to either delete his posts and apologize or to resign from the company. Reacting to the scenario this is what he told a friend of his over the phone.

“You know, we bloggers are always writing about principles, about freedom of speech, about standing up for what we believe in, for the truth. It’s very easy to write all that. But here I’m being tested on those principles in real life. If I don’t stand by those principles now, I will lose all respect for myself.”

Gaurav Sabnis resigned from IBM on Oct 10, 2005.

I have the nothing but the utmost of respect for this guy as he has stood up for what he believes is right. In doing so he also stands up for the freedom of speech and the right to speak about we believe is correct, something that all bloggers really treasure and probably the reason why most of us had started blogging in the first place. I think we should all do whatever little we can to make everyone aware of this incident and stand up in unison against this injustice (so what if its just in the blogosphere).

P.S. Special thanks to Megha for letting me in on this story and Arindam Chaudhri is the same guy who made the horrid ‘Rok Sako to Rok lo’ so all ppl looking for refunds this may be a start to getting there :)

Monday, October 10, 2005

Better and Best

Have you wondered why there’s this extra bit of magic in all those good things when they happen to us the first time around. Picture your best friend dreamily recalling his first love over a coffee, or your mom as she gets all animated when she talks about the first steps you walked as a toddler, or your colleague at office recalling the time when she got a promotion, or even things as trivial as the time when you recall your first snowfall or the first time when you went home to your overjoyed family holding a trophy in your hand. All these occasions always seem to hold a special place in your life and whenever you remember them the cobwebs somehow seem to disappear from your memory and the flashbacks always seem so much less hazy. For a lot of us these things will happen again for some of us they won’t but the point is these things that hold a special place in our life give us most joy and are the best the first time around and no wonder they sit on such a high pedestal in our collection of memories.
On the other hand all the bad things in life be it the time you had your first heartbreak, or the first time you left home for the first time, or even something as extreme as the time you heard about the death of a near one hurt so much the first time around. They give you most grief because they catch you unprepared for such an adversity as you wallow in your grief. But note how much better you handle such situations the second time around. I don’t know if its something about your mind that steels you the second time but its always better the second time around.
This leads me to conclude that the good things in life are the best the first time around while all the bad things that happen to us are better the second time around.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

College tales

He sat there in his hostel room playing what he decided would be last game of cards before he called it a day. As he was mid way through the game he heard his cell beep announcing a new message. He lifted his phone half expecting to see some stupid fwd but what he saw was to change this night into one wild ride.
This is Sxxxxx here I m msgin u from my new no. there’s big trouble at the girl’s hostel need help
He checked his watch that ticked a lil over 1 in the night as he disbelievingly checked the msg again. He had secretly nursed a crush on this female for years and mebbe this was his big break. He made a quick exit from his room telling the guys present there that his brother had had an accident and he had to rush out. As he rushed out from the boy’s hostel he texted back.
I am on my way wats the big problem
As he trudged towards the girl’s hostel a kilometer away he got a text back saying.
A big bitchfest has broken out at the hostel and my room’s been locked from outside.
On receiving this message he quickened his steps hoping no physical harm would come to her. He called her up but his calls were unanswered for some reason. As he tried to send another message he got a call from her but it got disconnected before he could answer it. Stupid networks he thought to himself. He texted her anyways saying
Keep calm I am halfway there just stay inside your room.
He got another call from her but that too died out before he could answer it. He was getting really concerned about her as she hadn’t msged back. He decided to msg her back.
I cant pick ur calls, getting disconnected after just one ring.
As he reached halfway he crossed a bunch of potbellied guards who he knew would be nothing but trouble. The girl’s hostel had a strict curfew policy for guy’s venturing anywhere nearby after 10 and this was already 3.5 hours past curfew. He however walked upto them hoping he would calmly explain the situation and then let himself pass through them eventually. However they seemed in no mood to listen and they just grew more agitated with every passing minute asking him to return to the guy’s hostel in no unclear words. Just then he got another message.
I thought I could bank on you but I don’t think u r gonna make it
This just made his resolve stronger and he got into a big argument with the guards which eventually ended with him getting some series ass whooping from the sticks with which the guards zealously guarded the hostel. Sore assed and heartbroken he eventually beat a retreat back to his own hostel after sending in one final message.
I really tried my best to come over but the guards just wont let me through. Do you want me to call up your hostel warden or the Director or something.
He got a hasty reply to that message which said
No no don’t do that, that wont be necessary we’ll try and work something out here
So he trudged back to his hostel and stayed up most of the night thinking about he have been a real hero tonight to the one that mattered had those stupid guards not interfered. Anyways he got up in time to catch breakfast in the mess with his friends. It was then that he heard a remark that made his ears perk up.
“You know what I think they should put some cushions up on these mess chairs, it would be a lot easier on some sore asses.”
An all knowing smile broke out at the table buried in
“Wtf Rohan that was really underhanded. You are going to hell for this you @$##$$####@%$%%^^^^&%$%#%##%%$”

This was easily one of my most memorable days of my hostel days when we made this guy in our block walk all the way to the girl’s hostel using just a stupid cellphone while tailing him all this while with a big bunch of ppl hidden behing the trees and shrubs on the college campus. Sure it did cost us some money on those msges but it was worth every penny and eventually we had quite a story to tell backed up with all those text msges we had on our phone as evidence. Don’t feel too sorry for the guy he would never have spoken to her anyways, he probably did get to talk to her once or twice recounting this very incident for all you know :)

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Passing thought part trois

Make sure you know what you are running for so as you know to stop in case you just happen to stumble over it sometime.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

An uneasy truce

Remember the times when we as kids used to fight, a fight in which we used to give our all clawing away with our puny paws thinking you were just one knockout punch away from ending the bout when the fight used to be imperceptibly stopped by an over anxious teacher or parent. You very invariably made part of a begrudging handshake or a hug during which you pressed so hard hoping to show the other who was the boss. Even though the things ended amicably according to the ‘pokey nosed’ teacher or parent wit both engaging parties claiming moral victory most bystander somehow knew the real fight was just around the corner with this just being the lull before the real storm. One couldn’t help but come off with the same feeling as one watched the events unfold over the scene of Indian cricket earlier this week. As Greg Chappell (GC) and Saurav Ganguly (SG) squabbled like two schoolboys both claiming to be aggrieved parties in a war of egos that threatened to blow away the future of an already struggling Indian cricket team. I shall no be discussing the lead up to the turn of events as enough has been said and written about it already. However it would hurt to mention that this excess of media insight into the discussions of a dressing room is what had led to this scenario in the first place. The media was used a weapon of choice by both sides to gain new allies (read Harbhajan Singh and other team members and other former cricketers) and that eventually led to a showdown in this week’s BCCI’s review meeting. Now for a mute spectator and passionate Indian cricket follower and well wisher this was a highly anticipated event as it would decide the direction in which Indian cricket would be going because in the view of the evidence on display one of parties would be right and the other one wrong. It was more a question of deliberating who was right and who was wrong thus doing away with the wrong party. Therefore what eventually prevailed with the BCCI mediating on an uneasy truce between GC and SG saying that said the Board asked the coach and captain to work mutually and maintain a working relationship. The board added that after discussions with the two both agreed to do for the betterment of the game in India. Personally this was the worse thing that could have happened in the light of the situation. I personally was hoping that Ganguly would be sacked in the light of his recent record and lack of ability to maintain discipline asked by GC and either Sehwag or Dravid be appointed in his place. I would have even swallowed the other scenario in which GC was sacked and another search begun for a replacement coach so that SG and the new coach could begin afresh. But what happened was something that had not been imagined in my worst of nightmares with a compromise situation being worked out between the two parties. It is very hard to imagine that they ever will be able to work in a comfortable equation with each other considering the accusations they leveled against each other recently. Also considering their egos (and remember we are talking superstar egos here) they probably will never forgive each other for what has just happened. I can almost imagine the two wanting to jump for joy after the next big Indian victory and rushing towards each other. Then suddenly in the wake of a rush of bad memories their joy will be blocked out as they will just utter a few congratulatory notes and end with a civil handshake instead of a more spur of the moment joyous hug. And I as a bystander know that the real fight is probably just around the corner and this is just the lull before the real storm.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Reactive prose

Awritee the sequel to Reactive prose has finally arrived. So all those who have been waited with bated breath (I can almost imagine a chorus of ‘yeah right’) read on, and those who haven’t you can read on too because it just lends credence to the theory that sequels are never quite good as the original thing :)

A: it’s been an odd sorta day
B: I wish it were a holiday
A: but then I wish that all the time
B: if I could drown myself in wine
A: wine doesn’t solve any problems but so doesn’t milk
B: and she looked lovely in silk
(after this line I laughed so hard that I almost fell off my chair and so any lines hereon don’t have any kinda accountability to its composer)
A: how is that ever supposed to make sense
B: y is it making u tense
A: this doesn’t look half as good as the first time
A: mebbe coz u r coming up with the 2nd line
(Even though that was outta turn I just couldn’t miss out on adding that, but anyways the gentleman that I am I let B have the last word)
B: oh u are so divine (???????????)

For those of you unfamiliar with this style of post it happens to be another line by line reproduction of a chat session I had with a friend of mine recently as we tried to engage in some poetic ‘jugalbandi’ with yours truly playing ‘A’ this time.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Coffee tales

I guess it would a little easier to follow the piece of fiction if you go through this previous post modeled on similar lines.

Harry: Hey I didn’t know you worked here.
Sally: Just a part time thing could do with some extra cash.
Harry: We all could :).
Sally: By the way thnx for holding up the elevator for me the other day I owe you one.
Harry: That’s good coz I seem to owe everyone else one nowadays. Sorry bad joke.
Sally: Anyways what can I get you today?
Harry: I cud do with 2 strong coffees.
Sally: Gosh 2 coffees, some heck of a party you must have been at last night.
Harry: Oh no excuse me for being presumptuous you just seemed like a coffee person.
Sally: And why did you presume I would have coffee with you?
Harry: Hmm let’s see I am single guy looking for love. I love to cook and I don’t mind cleaning up. Anything else you wanna know?
Sally: Yup just one thing, do you want some bagels with your coffee coz I can never have my coffee on an empty stomach.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Bag the tag (updated now)

Jeez there’s too much tagging goodwill flowing my way (its getting unbearable now), this time I get tagged by Sagnik in his latest post. The mission was to pen a 55 word short story chain so here’s my shot at it.

One upraised thumb and a few Harley skid marks later
Where are you headed?
Wherever the road takes me
What a co incidence that’s precisely where I was heading

And thus they were hitched. As they say it always starts innocently enough :)

And as I wind up this post I am reminded of my mommy's pearls of wisdom about sharing every good thing in life. So here it goes Pointy (that makes you 2 down on the tags bit), Khizzy (revenge is indeed sweet), Janani, m(treadsoftlyupon) and Totti (even though it feels as if you have vowed not to type onto your blog window anymore) you just got tagged. Enjoy.............

I guess I was meant to write up only one story but I cant let go of this one that just formed up inside my head tentatively titled 'Flying to the moon and back........lighter'

Wife: Do you really love me?
Husband: What a thing to ask after 10 years of our marriage? (well dodged soldier)
Wife: What would you do for me?
Husband: If I could I would take you to the moon (and kick you out of my spaceship)

OUCH!!!! THE END

Thursday, September 15, 2005

It's been a hard day's night

It's been a hard day's night, and I been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log
by The Beatles

No other title suits this picture more appropriately as Freddie and Vaughan catch a cat nap on the morning after the historic day on which they clinched the Ashes.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Reactive prose

A: As I stand alone
B: waiting to come undone
A: I see the world in chains
B: Wondering if its worth all the pains
A: I see light
B: Even though it aint so bright
A: It must be a dream
B: Whatever it mebbe its a chance to redeem
A: I take my first step into the "lake" blanketed by darkness
B: My soul hurts in the cold starkness
A: Oh angel- where are thy
B: I am around you, take my wings and fly

That happens to be a line by line reproduction of a chat session I had with a friend of mine recently as we tried to engage in some poetic ‘jugalbandi’ with yours truly playing ‘B’. The person concerned insisted that her lines were better but I did manage to eke out a benefit of doubt statement from her because I was the one who was supposed to come up with the 2nd line all the time (which generally includes all the rhyming words) as she enjoyed a tad extra creative freedom (. So I guess there’s a sequel coming up sometime soon.

Monday, September 12, 2005

These are a few of my fav things

I have recently fallen victim to some cross border shelling, some warm friendly and welcome one if I may add :). I have seen quite a few people getting tagged on their blogs (in fact I didnt even know what getting tagged stood for) and have always wondered how they can ever make for interesting reading so I wasn’t looking forward to myself doing the honors. However as was doing my round up of blogs I noticed my name was put up on a tag list by Khizzy. I ruefully spent the day planning to feign ignorance of that tagging bit but I kept thinking of all those times when I would visit the above mentioned blog and see my name up on the tag list and feel all guilty…….so what the hell I’ll do the list.

5 years ago:Happily ensconced at my 2nd year undergrad college life playing the regular guy doing your regular things.

1 year ago: Enjoying my 2nd coming as a student pursuing further studies in States.

5 songs I know all the words to:
Pehla Nasha
Another day in paradise
Kal Ho Na Ho
And a five gazillion other numbers too

5 Snacks I enjoy:Some people eat to live and some live to eat and I sincerely believe the former really don’t even deserve to live……in short keep the good food coming

5 Things I'd do w/ $100 million dollars:
Fix up a ride home with a thousand odd bucks and decide upon the rest from the comforts of the best home in the best city of the best country in the world.

5 places I would run away to:
Home (wait if I put both mine and Aishwarya Rai’s does it count as 2?)
Anyplace which has a coastline
Kashmir
Guess I’ll stick with 3 (that ‘running’ business got me all tired I guess)

5 things I would never wear:Being a Govinda fan takes out so many things from this list :), leather pants and makeup mebbe (up for anything else as long as its picked up from the men’s section )

5 favorite tv shows:
KBC
South Park
Late night with Conan O Brien
FRIENDS
The Wonder years

5 greatest joys: There are so many that I feel I would be undermining so many if I even try and trim the list to five

5 favorite toys:One’s life is the greatest toy we all have and its up to all of us to keep nurture it

Phew there I thought I was never getting done with that list, and as I said I am sure it didn’t make for interesting reading for any of you I bet coz I am just your regular guy whom you might just meet any day at your local store (make sure you tell me how much you love me and my blogs if you happen to be a cute looking female :) )
Guess this tagging bit wouldn’t be complete if I don’t tag 5 other people so as much as I hated doing this myself here my list of five Totti, Pointy, Broken Verses, Swathi and Susu. I have done my time and its upto you guys to do yours (evil grin). For ppl who did (or did not) make that list I have nothing against you, you were just the first five that came to mind.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

The Search

Flying high like a bird
Reaching out for horizons undiscovered
Encompassing the wild spirit within
Emerging free of the shackles of my wicked life
Dwelling into the unknown confines of my soul
Omnipresent is a search for what probably lurks within
Myopic as it maybe I kinda know what I seek

This was essentially an experiement with a style of a poem where the first word of every line adds up to form the underlying theme. I couldn't add the rider initially as my net had kinda given up on me but from I am able to gather from user comments most of you probably were quick to latch onto it.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Wallow in thy pity

For all those people brought up on a staple diet of unadulterated mush mostly in the form of Yash Chopra styled movies where they told you with an echo laced voiceover fading to eternity ‘Someone somewhere is made for you’ and that its just a matter of time before you found the perfect one I just have a word of caution. Sometimes life doesn’t act all that fair and the prefect one has already found a perfect boyfriend / girlfriend and you will end up with a perfect heartbreak following a perfect fight. So for all of you who might be surprised at that startling revelation just have a backup plan in case those movies were a truckload of lies.

Hmmm the dude seems really sad today, looks like he just had heartbreak or something. Well as much as I like you guys and would love your vote of sympathy it’s not quite the case (not in the recent past at least). This subject came about after listening for the nth time trying to overcome a similar situation as I acted as the eternal shoulder to cry on. You probably don’t know what to do in such situations as you begin to clear the wax out and whip out your best pair of ears. Most guys in such situations come up with some very predictable pieces of advice which is mostly like ‘Seriously she wasn’t good enough for you’ or ‘hey cool lets celebrate with a bunch of beers’ or ‘I guess its finally time to go for that long delayed trip to that strip joint’. So after pearls of wisdoms are carefully considered and a bunch of misdeeds later the guy re emerges back into this big bad world plus a newly acquired ‘Devdas’ like beard. This newly acquired pitiable state manages to grab to some more attention and more intelligent advice spiraling the poor guy into a vicious cycle all fueled by a desire to wallow in self pity. This is a phenomenon I have observed time and time again with many guy friends of mine which forces me to think whether the females too like to wallow in such oceans of pity when faced with similar heartbreaks and what their reaction is to overcome such times in life when life takes cheap shots at you. Darn it’s getting really late now mebbe I shall add user comments and reactions as part of this blog later.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Let me be

Time has come its time we had a talk
I sense a difference of opinion so c’mon kiddo lets take a walk
I’ve just been told you are kinda unwelcome
They say you symbolize sin something needs to be done
The only reason why I shed those tears
Is because I mebbe the reason why you got here
Even though you had come to be a part of me
Time has come that I set you free

I always thought I gave you joy
You were my master I was your little toy
You never talked to me lately something had seemed amiss
But I never thought it would come to this
As you prepare to push me up heaven’s stairs
Remember you are the reason why I got here
Do you think by doing this your soul will ever be free
I wanna see the world Mommy let me be

Not big fan of hip hop or anything but if this thing was ever to be put into music rap would be a perfect choice.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

A musical interlude

I seem to have hit a blogger’s block of late, a pretty steep one at that too. So even as I shake myself trying to churn up new ideas I find myself returning to my mental recycle bin to recover some post ideas that I had deemed as probable ones but trashed later probably not considering them fit for public consumption. This post happens to be one those ideas and marks my return to my favorite domain of Bollywood. You might relate to it only and only if you have been a music buff from the 80’s onwards.

Recall all those times when Cd’s weren’t quite the in thing and your music pile consisted of cassettes which came dirt cheap after the advent of the Gulshan Kumar era. Do you remember times when while playing a favorite cassette of yours you suddenly came to song that stuck out as a sore note on an otherwise musically brilliant album? As I sat down recalling such instances I started thinking of times when we have shamelessly defended the songs in our movies by calling them musicals even though we’ve never come to making a true blue musical in the true sense of the world. I mean forget musicals we have very few movies in which all songs are good and turn out to be popular choices amongst the common movie going audiences. Anyways that not my point, the point is even though we make movies replete with songs why do music directors always end up composing one real bad / unpopular song on an otherwise beautiful album. If you sift through pages of Bollywood music history you will probably notice that this trend started only around the late 70’s and early 80’s movies when greats like Shankar Jaikishan and S.D.Burman were no longer around. After their era when subsequent music directors came around that you will suddenly begin to find albums with one or 2 mediocre to plain bad that somehow didn’t gel with an otherwise hit soundtrack and ended up going unnoticed in a relatively hit flick. For a true movie buff this phenomenon seemed very irritating because it always seemed like that the music composers just didn’t bother and got into the irritating and very Indian ‘chalta hai’ mode of functioning this ruining a great album leaving me scurrying for the fast forward button. For those of you who I have entirely lost at this point of time its time you make a quick exit before making you are forced to leave uncharitable comments on the blog, for those who even have an inkling as to what I am talking about I speak for every ‘Chori pe chori’ song in Saathiya, ‘Jaaneman Jaaneman’ number in Kaho Na Pyar Hai, ‘Pehli Baar mMile’ from Saajan, ‘ Dil Ka Aalam’ from Aashiqi, ‘Ghar Aaja Pardesi’ from DDLJ, ‘Deewane Hum Pyar Ke’ from JJWS, ‘Bada Dukh Dina’ from Ram Lakhan etc. My memory fails me as I try to come up with more examples but I hope I have gotten my point across. Also pardon me for my choice of movies being from the 80’s onwards as that’s where most of my musical recollections start from. This realization gave me increased appreciation for all those soundtracks on which all numbers turned out to be mass hits. I tried putting together a collection of 5 such soundtracks. I must admit it was a very hard job but after a lot of thinking I came up with a list of 5 music CD’s I wouldn’t really mind being marooned with on an island (keep in mind this is a post 1975 collection and I leave open the discussion for my favorite collection of English music for a later day).

Hum Kisi Se Kam Nahin: Probably the soundtrack that actually drove me into writing this particular post, it was a personal favorite of mine as I made my dad play this movie’s songs over and over again as a small kid.
Ijaazat: A brilliant movie with powerhouse performances and the coming together of RD Burman’s and Gulzar’s geniuses. Every song is a gem in itself and should be on every musical connoisseur’s playlist.
Aandhi: Another RD, Gulzar combo on the list has great replay value.
QSQT: The movie that got back good music back to Bollywood in a hurry.
Roja: Comprehensively proved music actually broke across all border while establishing making A.R.Rehman a name to be watched out for and an instant celebrity.
1942 A Love story: This soundtrack proved without a doubt that musician’s die music doesn’t as RD immortalized himself to all music lovers.
Dil Chahta Hai: This soundtrack firmly established Shankar, Ehsan and Loy amongst the big league, with music as fresh as the movie.

Ok mebbe I cheated and made that list drag onto seven very conveniently but lets see you all trim your list down to five.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

2 Steps behind

He had always been a rebel, he had wanted to soar across the crimson skies alone like a bird, and he had wanted to live life on his own terms. He had always been one of a kind the rock star the darling of millions living on the edge of an edgy lifestyle high on drugs, booze and mind numbing adulation. He had soaked in it all till he had met her. The world had seemed so different then, the rebel suddenly needed a cause, even birds settled down eventually he had told his friends sheepishly. She had been a light at the end of a dark tunnel, a tunnel he wouldn’t have minded crawling even if it meant ending up with bruised elbows, knees and egos. Unfortunately that light had been cruelly snubbed out and he now found himself staring into the dark tunnel of the barrel of a revolver.
He always thought it required a combination of glut of guts and paucity of brains to blow out either. But then it seemed like a really grand way to go out in style immortalized to all his fans. So he groped around his room feeling the metal in hands that had strummed out the best heavy metal in decades. The gun felt so darned cold as he put in against his head uncomfortably propped against the wall. He clicked the safety off as he stared up groggily at the lights in his room finally ready to blow out his own. As his fingers tensed up on the trigger he wondered if his life would flash in front of his eyes as he had heard. It did for a flicker but all he saw was her, no childhood memories, no happy pictures from his college days, no family portraits, no recollections of his metronomic rise to the greatest rock star ever, nothing, just a picture of her as she slept peacefully next to him in those best days of his life. Suddenly he was having second thoughts about going through with this, what if this wasn’t the right thing to do but hadn’t he always gone out of his way to do the wrong thing, could it be that he was he just plain scared?

As he was battling his thoughts the door bell rang. He decided to do a rethink as he got the door. It was some sort of delivery for him but as he signed the receipt he thought the person under the Fed Ex cap seemed familiar. But his head heavy and groggy from a night of drugs and alcohol couldn’t really tell. Just as he closed the door it suddenly hit him why the face seemed familiar. He rushed to the door and sure enough he found the necklace there. A necklace he had so hated as she had picked out two pieces from the store, but something that had grown to become his most valuable possession as he stared at an identical piece hanging from his neck.

She had always said ‘I’ll always be there for you’; he realized that she had truly meant it.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Mechanics of a freefall

30/24: Even though you sit around comfortably in our apartment you think it wouldn’t hurt to check the weather outside in the balcony and get some air
32/26: Damn it was a good idea coming out to grab that whiff of air and you feel as if you have never felt better, so you get complacent trying to get an extra whiff sitting on the ledge
34/28: Even though you don’t realize it you subconsciously crossed the barrier that would be considered ‘safe’ and finally tip over the edge.
36/30: As you enter the freefall fear grips you as you realize there’s probably no going back and you know you have tempted fate and stayed home or even in the safe confines of the balcony.
38/32: As your end rushes up to you suddenly feel a sense of helplessness and your contrived mind suddenly tells you that now that you are in this ride you might as well as enjoy it while it lasts.
40/34: You look down and for the last few seconds fear grips you again freezing up your joints, you make a concerted effort to escape the inevitable but it probably is too late and you resign to your fate.

For those of you who haven’t realized it yet that was a step by step analysis of the freefall to obesity and i think I would be insulting your intelligence if I have to spell out what the numbers stood for (I thought again abt this running thru all those times when jokes fell flat coz ppl didnt get the punchline and therefore for ppl who still didn't get it they happen to be waist sizes for both guys and girls).

I don’t like to put out disclaimers on my posts but I would like to state that this post was meant to a short tongue in cheek piece. I am not making any sly comments who happen to be either too thin or too fat and I have no issues with anyone as long as they are happy being what they are :). But in case this blog gives rise to feeling of 'been there done that' and wish u hadn't, then its time to break the freefall before its too late.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Passing thought part deux

I truly believe 'I am in love with u' is as different from 'I love u' as 'Are u hitting on me?' is from 'Are u hitting me?'.

Monday, August 15, 2005

And they met again........

He wiped the raindrops from his brow while carefully running his fingers through his carefully gelled hair which he had worked into a la Elvis mop only minutes back. Gosh how he hated the rain it got to him in a very oddly irritating way, it had poured every freaking day that he had forgotten to get an umbrella to office. As he got into the elevator cursing Murphy’s Law he heard someone shouting asking him to hold up the elevator. He had barely slid his hand out of his pockets to the partially broken ‘Door open’ button when he had a large camera shoved into his face. Following it entered this girl drenched in these outlandish bohemian clothes looking as if she had been outside for hours. Gosh another one of those hopeless romantics who loved to drench in the rain he thought.

Lovely day outside aint it” she said.
Looks all the same to me, I don’t like the rain anyways”.
An odd moment of silence followed during which he thought it was kinda rude of him to react in that fashion.
You look like one heck of a photographer” he said pointing to the camera.
You must have me confused with someone with some potential; I am just running an errand for a friend of mine to whom this belongs.
Hmmm that camera thing wasn’t making any head away.
After another moment of uncomfortable silence she said “I am Sally” extending her hand.
He wiped his hand on his trousers and then extending his hand said “The name’s Potter, Harry Potter”.
For real?"she asked looking incredulously at him.
Naah, even though it would have made a heck of a story for you, actually it’s a rather more staid and boring Harry Johnson”.
Before he could say anything else the elevator stopped at her floor and she stepped outside disappearing from his view. As he was thinking of running after her, her head bobbed back into view as she blurted “Harry Johnson actually sounds so much better” and then she broke into a smile, a smile that was very childlike, smile unblemished by all the things that were wrong in the world outside the elevator, a smile that was one without a care in the world, as the elevator door closed.

Love stories with sad endings leave a lot of emotional baggage and broken hearts, love stories with happy endings leave behind grandchildren to whom you narrate tall tales of love overcoming all obstacles decades later but its stories like these that somehow make place in some comfortable corner of your mind and come rushing back on days when you least expect them too.

In case you are wondering abt the title its an extension on the shorts i did earlier namely Meeting with a stranger and Love story (free publicity never hurts u see).

Saturday, August 13, 2005

My tête - à – tête with God

God : So I notice you got your Master’s degree today.
Urs truly: Yup still cant believe it, seems like only yesterday that I used to pray to you for letting me pass my undergraduate exams.
God : Tell you what when you decided to come to States for your Master’s I had thought it was just another one of your whims.
Urs truly: Yup, I think I actually never realized the gravity of the whole situation till the day I was leaving home for the airport to board my flight.
God : Yeah no wonder you bawled like a baby on the last evening.
Urs truly: Hey that wasn’t my fault I thought I was ready for everything till that time when my granny broke down sobbing on the phone when I spoke to her last. Gosh bet you must have known that all the time, couldn’t you have steeled me for it?
God : Guess it was best for you at that time. So how has the whole experience been?
Urs truly: I don’t really know, I have had some hard times scratching around to earn my expenses, served food at cafeterias, scrubbed tables, worked night outs at my labs, missed home like crazy probably even cried when I saw that cheesy K3G again and missed India getting all emotional whenever I hear Rehman humming ‘Ye jo Des hai tera’ and other similar patriotic numbers.
God : You'll always be an emotional fool but I guess I gave you a real hard time there.
Urs truly: You can say that again but there have been some really good times, all those new friends I have made, all those things I have learned like cooking (discovered I had mum's knack for it) and taking care of myself stepping out of the protective and sheltered comforts of home and of course the joy I got on seeing my parents when I went to Delhi for a one month vacation.
God : Hmm question is given a chance will you do this all over again?
Urs truly: Hell yes, every single time.
God : Thought so…………:)

Thursday, August 11, 2005

'Waise bhi perfection ko improve karna mushkil hota hai'

Doston, aaj college ka aakhri din hai
Aur aane waali zindagi ke liye
Sabhi ne kuch na kuch soch rakha hai
Lekin maine apne liye kuch nahin socha hai


News for all of u reading this blog, that was one of the blatant lies told on Indian screen because its very hard to imagine coming from a guy whose career easily folds out as one of the most strategically planned and model careers for people from all walks of life. For those of you who haven’t guessed who we are talking about its about time you left this blog to watch the nth rerun of some mushy SRK movie (and I very fairly leave Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na, Yes Boss, Swades and Paheli out of that lot). For those of you who have guessed already yes this blog will be a tribute to one the greatest actors to grace the Bollywood silver screen the one and only Aamir Khan. He has been a favorite of mine ever since he burst on screen singing ‘Papa Kahte Hain’ in 1988 and made sure that every wannabe romantic new chocolate hero had to have Raj as his name. I was unluckily born in an era where the Amitabh magic had waned completely and audience was unsuspectingly subjected to tortures like Akayla, Ajooba, Aaj Ka Arjun, Toofan, Jaadugar, Shahenshah and Ganga Jamuna Saraswati. Those of you who have a disbelieving look on face that says ‘I never heard of those movies’ let this a moment of enlightenment for you whereby you start believing in Karma as you might be reincarnations of Mother Teresa for sure (u lucky souls).

Anyways now that I have the literary tool of digression successfully I must tell you all that I used to have countless arguments with my neighbor (bless you wherever you are) about who was better between Amitabh and Aamir while we came up with arguments and counterarguments (nothing serious there I just strummed an Imaginary guitar mouthing ‘Papa Kahte Hain’ while he shot me down with an imaginary gun placed strategically in his left hand). For those of you didn’t know Aamir had made two appearances on the movie screen as a child actor in Yaadon Ki Baraat playing junior Meghnath (Vijay Arora I stand corrected) and a Ketan Mehta flick titled Holi in 1984 for which he had shaved off his head while in college. Anyways as QSQT came and went bringing back the age of musicals and bringing back love stories to silver screen digging out Bollywood from the rut of action/revenge drama flicks that it had gotten into since the Amitabh era. Aamir signed on a lot of inconsequential and forgettable movies after QSQT like most insecure newcomers and was in danger of ending up as a one hit wonder and one of the promising talents that fizzled out due to bad choice of movies. However notable amongst this lot was a movie called Raakh which was a brave attempt by a chocolate faced newcomer as he plays a embittered lover whose girlfriend was raped and who goes on to kill all the people responsible for the heinous crime eventually helped in his mission by Pankaj Kapur. Unfortunately not too many people ever saw that movie for some reason. He didn’t have another hit in his career till he broke through at the box office in 1990 with Dil starring with the then reigning queen Madhuri Dixit. A regular masala flick with decent music like most Indra Kumar flicks it made good money at the box office with Aamir shining in a trite done to death role. He was to shine in 1991 again in the role of Raghu Jaitley in Dil Hai Ki Manta Nahin where he played a journalist with a heart of gold as he helps a cute Pooja Bhatt reach her destination. It was during this movie that he discovered his method acting technique as he delved deeply into each of his characters. For his now famous cap that he wore through the movie he searched around shops for reportedly more than 5 hours before he came up with something to his satisfaction. He meanwhile began work on Time Machine an ambitious project by the very talented Shekhar Kapur starring Naseeruddin Shah, Rekha and Raveena Tandon. Although the movie never got made I caught some clips of some show a long while back and it seemed like a huge hit in the making ala Mr.India. His next hit movie was JJWS in 1992 as Sanjaylal Verma which pitched him as an underdog racing for his college, his brother, family, his love, respect and above all pride and had the entire nation rooting and egging for him with a “Top gear Sanju, top gear” in the climactic bicycle race finale. He struck gold next with Hum Hain Rahi Pyar Ke with the oh-so-cute Juhi Chawla in 1993. He appeared next year in the most mind-blowing comedy of all time displaying fantastic comedic timing along with Salman Khan titled Andaz Apna Apna. Although a lot was expected of this movie it somehow sank at the box office then only to be rediscovered years later going on to become one of the most successful movie on the video circuit. It still goes down as one of my favorite movies period and I had an able ally in my cable guy who kept playing the movie on every weekend. 1995 was the year of Akele Hum Akele Tum as he played the endearing dad of an estranged family who fights tooth and nail to keep his son. I don’t know of too many people who managed to hold back a tear or two in the last scene as he shuts up his door and begins crying after giving up his son to his ex-wife. The movie wasn’t a hit however and he moved on to style himself out of his chocolatey hero image as he churned out ‘Munna’ the lovable tapori for Rangeela. His quest for perfection churned out one of the most endearing character son silver screen and set the benchmark for Tapori roles attempted for ages thereafter by all contemporary heroes successfully and not so successfully. Like another constant feature of his career he helped in giving a hit to a struggling or new actress or director. He played the title role in Raja Hindustani in 1996 which also turned out the biggest blockbuster of the year. He picked up the best actor award for the year which he refused to acknowledge as he believed they weren’t fair enough in their judgments, a policy which he has maintained through the years. He displayed his flair for comedy again with Ishq with Indra Kumar notching up a hit with his only movie in 1997. By this time Aamir was strictly following his policy on working on one movie at a time something that was considered ‘foolish’ and ‘too risky’ by his contemporaries at that time. 1998 was the year when Khandala was placed firmly on the tourist destinations of India as he serenaded Rani Mukherji in his own voice (also something in which he the trendsetter as it was followed by most heroes unsuccessfully in the succeeding years) in Ghulam a story of Siddharth Marathe, a reprisal of his Tapori shades, as he played a person torn between his morals and his elder brother. Battling a very trite story and a near death for a stunt scene in his stickler for perfection attitude he shone above the movie playing a one man army against an evil institution. It was also the year when he turned evil with a vengeance as he played the ice candy man in 1947 Earth. He made every Indian sit up and take notice with his stark and realistic portrayal of an idealistic IPS officer, Ajay Singh Rathod in Sarfarosh in 1999 a role that fetched him universal acclaim warranting even special requests for a viewing by the then PM of India and his office. It also succeeded in giving Sonali Bedre her only hit of her career and for that we really “Don’t Mind” :). He churned out 2 turkeys in Mann (with a very hummable music track) in 1999 and Mela in 2000 (a movie which he did for his struggling brother’s career). However he more than made it up to his fans as he beckoned history in 2001 with Lagaan a movie for which he turned actor cum producer (again a pioneer in this field and one in which few other had any success later on). He pumped in money on this Ashutosh Gowariker dream as he believed in him completely and went with his conviction working on a Hollywood styled work environment. He pioneered start to finish schedules and sync sound recording for this movie as he brought in a lot of professionalism to the hitherto unknown world of Bollywood. The movie was a big hit in India and went on to make the cut in the final Oscar race but making sure Indians hated a movie called ‘No Man’s Land’ forever (just kidding it’s a great movie even though its not half as good as Lagaan). Within a month of batting out of his skins to bat the Britishers out of his village he reappeared as Akash redefining cool and chic with his role in Dil Chahta Hai. Every guy in India wanted his hair cropped and gelled like him as every pimple faced teenager prayed for hair under their lower lip so that they could sport a soul patch (yeah that’s what they call that thing he sported). He was most believable as the happy go lucky guy who had a constant glint in his eye spelling mischief as he goes on to discover the deeper things in life love and friendship as he redefined male bonding with the stellar cast of the hilarious Saif and underrated Akshaye Khanna. He brought in the concept of a different look for every movie something Bollywood had suddenly woken up as we have all actors trying different looks looking most ridiculous at times. After that movie he disappeared from silver screen as he battled personal problems before he settled down on something that would match up to the expectations from him after Lagaan and DCH. He signed on for Mangal Pandey as he changed his look completely for it growing his hair and handle bar moustache for 18 months before he started shooting. He kept in touch with his fans through his very entertaining Coke and Titan commercials a subject of intense discussion during their making and after release amongst all people. However after almost 2 years in the making his movie has finally finished and is opening this Friday on Aug 12th. It has already opened to a standing ovation at the Locarno film festival and previewed to select critics too. However as always the slander campaign by a select few in the media whom Aamir has always kept at a safe distance from his personal life, has begun and they have starting reporting absolutely baseless stuff like 'The Rising' has not opened to good reviews from preview screenings citing their sources as The Hollywood Reporter and Thezreview.co.uk. However as you can probably see for yourselves that they are full of nothing but praise calling it a ‘sweeping epic’ while calling Aamir’s performance as ‘excellent--introspective and fiercely emotional’. So as the movie opens tomorrow lets hope all’s ‘mangal’ for this flick so that any outing by one of our most beloved and multifaceted actor. 17 years in the industry, starring in 18 movies any actor will be proud of with 14 hits almost at a consistent rate of one every year makes him one of the most dependable actors in an industry that barely has a 2% success ratio. He is one of only actors to tread the fine line between being an actor and a star with great aplomb. His style of concentrating on one movie at a time has become the established norm with every decent actor following the policy including SRK (who contrary to popular belief revered Aamir as an actor).

I should hopefully be catching the movie this Sunday driving down to New Jersey for 3.5 hours (fingers crossed) and shall be reviewing it sometime soon. Even though I haven’t read any opening reviews something tells me I am in for the time of my life (I guess history does teach you some lessons and I sure have learnt mine during my past 24 years).

This officially makes it my longest blog ever but thankfully I have managed to move away from my Carrie Bradshaw'esque takes on the male mind and have fulfilled the real reason for which I was born (yes from what my friends tell me I was born to make people more aware of Bollywood with my mindboggling knowledge of it).

Monday, August 08, 2005

Passing thought

If in a relationship both sides keep trying to score brownie points then you end up with one bitter and distasteful brownie.

Friday, August 05, 2005

The 2+2's of life

Last week I was walking back from my nearby supermarket fresh with my new lot of groceries. Now this store even though at a walking distance from my place is still that wee bit far for people without a car like yours truly. So you have put up all your stuff in a cart (which incidentally squeak like crazy all the way back) and drag it all the way back. Since I live on the 1st floor (make that 2nd floor for all people living in the states) I had to drag all those gazillion packets home and was kinda overwhelmed (I have officially mastered the literary tool of understatement u see) by the amount of stuff I had to carry home. As I was looking around for help my eyes caught this broad shouldered guy walking towards me. Now I agree I don’t really qualify as an attractive no blond, blue eyed Baywatch babe but my 6’1 athletic frame and strapping built (people who do know me personally are expected to play along on the latter) I don’t really qualify for Mr. Invisible either. So I was kind pissed when this guy walked through me while I was struggling to hold on the set of groceries without falling over. Anyways right after that this, a female also walked past flashing me a smile (hey this part isn’t for added effect) and I somehow made it back home. So as I crashed onto my couch I started wondering as to why I felt pissed at that guy I didn’t even know and didn’t feel a thing against the female I crossed paths with later. I realized that it was because I wasn’t expected to get help from that quarter anyways as it was part of my upbringing where the guys are supposed to play the accommodating gentleman and be on your toes to help a damsel in distress while not expecting any similar return treatment. I flash-backed to all the times when I as a guy was expected to do things like vacating a seat up on the DTC buses back in Delhi, pull out seats while on dates, run across to the other side of the car and get the door for them while they got their make up fixed up in the mirror, hold up doors for them at almost all public places etc. While these things are perfectly acceptable and from part of the chivalry brigade that every decent guy is expected to exhibit I somehow couldn’t help thinking that in their small little ways wilt that equality plank that all women so seek back in direction of the guys because guys don’t expect return favors on the small lil things mentioned above. Wait stay with me on this without branding me a cheap, uncompassionate creep as I extend this theory to a few other common domains. Ever wondered why guys are always expected to be the ones to ask the females out on dates, approach them at bars while they wait on their own favorite stool and why guys are expected to be the ones to propose marriage or even courtship to females. Don’t you think that by allowing the guys such liberties the females let the guys take control of their lives and they wait in their mundane worlds for some protagonists or catalysts in the form of some Prince Charming to come along? Do u think if we do away with these seemingly commonplace things then females would gain better charge of their lives and lead to a society where man and woman walk together as equals without seeking out any special privelages?

This is the third of my posts trying to delve into the female psyche the first two being When Harry met Sally and Men are from Mars women from anywhere else. If you think there’s even an iota of truth in what I have mentioned above or if you think I am a crazy loony with too much time on my hands who took the 2+2's of life and made it 4 (doesnt work that ways does it) I would love to hear from you, do drop me a comment.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Ex post facto

I have just completed 1 year of living along with a female room mate and I just thought it was a right time to pass along some pearls of wisdom gained during this eventful stay. Before I start passing down my commandments I shall be taking some questions.
Is she my girlfriend? No most certainly not
Is she my sister? We are still awaiting an official word on that
Is she my ex roomie’s girlfriend? Goshie we do have a very informed and sharp gathering here coz you have just hit the nail bang on its head.
Nyways getting back to dispersing my wisdom as knowledge is for sharing (a policy which I have begun to believe in after years of the philosophy being drilled into my head by well informed sources who just happened to be my preceding and succeeding roll numbers at both school and college) so here it goes.

Dirtiness / Filth just like beauty lies in the eye of the beholder so roomed deemed perfectly clean by one might be unlivable according to the other.
Packing is an inherent gift of God with which he only blesses females.
Behind every successful male chef is a great cook in the form of either a mom or a sister and guys can never (ever) match up to the culinary skills of females.
Living with a female room mate doesn’t turn you metro sexual in any way what so ever thankfully.
‘Sex and the City’ isn’t such a bad TV series after all (guys take my word for it).
Some people still bother ironing all their clothes before wearing them (I thought that practice was disallowed for all Indian students in US).
Presence of even one female in the house ensures that you don’t have half eaten bag of chips, popcorn, stacks of lose change strewn over your couch and in your drawing room.
This isn't derived from personal experience but I couldn't resist putting this one in, my room mate discovered one day to the horror of horrors that smelling ur socks b4 wearing them is not an established practice around the world :)

Hmm that pretty much it, I thought I would end up with a longer list than this but I guess its really not been very different from the time I lived in an all guys apartment. Guess she has been like one of guys or conversely I as one of the girls :) (although it sounds not quite the same as the previous statement for some reason but just that I can I didn’t wanna get ripped by any women’s libbers on this blog).

Puss in Boots watchout



This is for of u who always went awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww whenver u saw Puss in Boots in action in Shrek 2. This guy can give anyone competetion anyday.

Monday, August 01, 2005

The Perfect Potboiler

Statuary warning: This blog is only meant for those people with ample amount of free time on their hands. Any mental trauma caused by the sheer worthlessness of this blog shall not be attributed to me nor shall I be at the receiving end of any muted curses. This blog is borne as a by product of sheer laziness, lack of new ideas and a hyperactive imagination.

I have always complained of being at a distinct disadvantage at coming up with ideas for my new blogs when compared to few other blogger friends of mine because I cant recall any of my dreams. Unlike friends of mine who can go on to describe to the last mundane detail what they see in their dreams I for some reason go absolutely blank after I wake up from my sleep. I know I have some absolutely fantastic dreams because whenever I wake up I am left with a feeling of an inexplicable high or low. A case in point was today morning when I was supposed to wake up at 7:30 am as I had to go over to my department and finish over some last minute stuff related to my thesis. Now I did wake up at 7:30 initially but somehow somewhere I was very caught up in this dream of mine and I really wanted to see how it ended so I put myself to sleep back again hoping to catch up on the ending. Although this logic of mine was absolutely contrived to all of you (including yours truly now that I think about it) I was surprised to see the dream resume from the very point I had left it when I had woken up. Eventually when I woke up about 2 hours later with no recollection whatsoever of this dream but somehow left with a happy aftertaste (somewhat akin to the feeling u get from that small mound of chocolate left in your molars after u prematurely finish off a milk chocolate). It was only when I started brushing my teeth that I somehow recalled this number C-9 kept playing over and over in my head and just like that I was able to recall my entire dream sequence which I shall be reproducing here. I claim sole copyright of this sequence and I am pretty sure this would turn out to be the perfect blockbuster if converted to celluloid screen one day.

Now this sequence started off with me returning to India for a vacation before I joined my job here in States. For the heck of it I gave some entrance exam which got me selected to IIT K B-school (don’t question my choice of college, why I gave the exam or even whether IIT K has a B school or not coz I am just reporting facts of my dream per se). I managed to breeze through the exam and since I didn’t have anything better to do I decided to join the college for a month’s time treating it as an extended vacation after which I would return to US to join my job. I saw myself going through the rigors of my initiation with a new college by getting ragged by seniors (2 of my best school friends who I haven’t seen for ages put up a pleasant guest appearance in the role of seniors). A surprise element lay in store in this dream sequence for me as I discovered that Zaheer Khan and Irfan Pathan were batch mates at the college (I was zapped on seeing them too and asked myself what the hell were they doing in IIT K when they should be playing the tri series in Lanka but play along with me right now on that and more on that later). Obviously being the popular ones they got most of the chicks in my batch while I sulked alone full of envy in some arbit corner. However we later came be friends (leading to some DCH like song sequences) as we united against some college rowdies and beat them to pulp and also I must mention they helped me by getting to my love interest in the dream sequence. Of course it was just co incidental that she also happened to be the best looking chick in town (which probably doesn’t count for much if u r in Kanpur as Sean would tell me). We also members on a college cricket team and we were very excited when we came to know that a college team from Pakistan would be visiting the college next month for an invitational tournament. The story was to take a twist just before the interval as I got a call from my company in States asking me to join them as soon as possible as my vacation was over. I was totally heartbroken at this instant at the prospect of leaving this college and faced a lot of flak from all my friends for leaving India for foreign shores and the last scene I saw myself sitting down with my parents discussing this dilemma having a heart to heart talk with them.

That’s the precise point where I woke up to the cacophonous sounds of my alarm and since I absolutely had to know what came of that talk with my parents I put myself back to sleep to see what happened after the interval.

After a long talk with my parents where we discussed both sides of the situation they left the decision to me. After giving it a hard thought I decided that India was where I wanted to be and called up my company to tell them I was resigning and walked back to my college greeted by rapturous applause at my college by my friends. We started practicing in full earnest for the cricket match and finally beat the Pakistan team after a long and hard drawn final to clinch the tournament with me hitting the winning runs. Why I didn’t make the cut for the man of the match I something I am still wondering about but I cant complain as the sequence finished on a very happy note that kept me on a high even after I woke up.

However now that I have finished penning down the whole thing it doesn’t look that exciting a screenplay as I had first imagined it to be (I swear it looked so much better when it was playing in my head....I dunno mebbe I slipped out on the interesting bits) and also looks like a suspicious mix of Swades, Lagaan and DCH but what the hell I have penned down more than a page long of my dream and the fact that I remember all of it merits a mention in my blog posts :)