One of my favorite movie moments regarding friendship has always been the shot from DCH where the 3 friends stare longingly into the sea perched high above on the ruins of an old fort. As Sid tells them that they are like the 3 ships out on the sea who will head off in their own direction their separate paths charted by waves of destiny, Sam stares at him disbelievingly and tells him 'Hum dost the, dost hain aur dost rahenge' (which for the uninitiated means we have always been friends, are friends and will continue to remain friends) in typical Bollywood fashion. That somehow for me has managed to put a finger on friends and friendship as battle between believers and disbelievers, the optimist and the cynic, the one who manages to move on while the other desperately tries to cling on to a mutually shared joyful past and a lot of other things.
Friends for me are like chocolates. Most of us love them as we enjoy them for their sweet taste and the sweet aftertaste they leave behind lodged behind in the back of our teeth. We enjoy our share, identify our favorites and always know where to go back for more. Chocolates like friends come in a variety of flavors. some are like te regular tried and tested milk chocolates who are always there for you whenever you need them, some are mint flavored coming into your life like a breath of fresh air, some are like dark chocolates, dark and mysterious at first but ones with which you form the fondest bonds, some of them have a hard exterior only for you to discover a surprisingly soft caramel fudge center.
Friends for me are people for whom physical proximity ceases to be an issue. There are people whose names jump out from your phone book on a boring weekend afternoon as you will be filled with an inexplicable curiosity to catch on with what going on in their life and before you realize that its actually 1 am in their part of the world you are pouring your heart out to them. Sure there are the awkward silences but you don't have to pretend that you have another call is coming your way. You walk through those silences because even through the unstated silence, runs a thread of years of history and because you are the believer, the optimist and the one who desperately tries to cling on to a joyful past.
21 comments:
i was thinking about friends (not the show) this morning too.apt comparison to the choclate thing.nice one
Rohan I love your analysis abt comparing frnds to chocolate. It so true, we like different types of chocolates fro different reasons, just like we like/have frnds for different things in our life.
That part in DCH is one of my favs too, it just shows you can still be frnds and realistic.
Most of my close frnds are thousands of miles away, and the only thing that is really needed to stay frnds is the desire to be frnds. Distance doesnt matter at all after that, yes at times its hard to communicate with them esp. when u need them, but it always has a way of working out.
Awesome post overall. Made a alot of sense! :D
Well, just after reading your post I headed out to read by the bay, and coincidentally, saw 3 ships in a distance. Couldnt help thinking about this post!
I for one, am a clinger. But I know what you mean when physical proximity doesnt matter. Some of my closest friends are back in India, and every cent spent on calling them is worth it and more.
And lastly, between friends, silences are never awkward. They are always comfortable silences. And that's what makes a good friend.
awe rohan...i love this post!
im so attached to my friends!
and ive got em all saved up, from all stages of my life!
:D
Good post, triggered by some recent experience, I guess.
And please post the album/film of the audio that plays along. A good one.
@Demi Goddezz Thnx, happy new year to you too
@totti What else you were thinking abt is kinda clear from your latest mail to the crickettoday group ;)
@Shruti Thnx I concur with your feelings totally abt distance and physical proximity never being a factor from staying in touch with your real friends
@Casablanca A clinger is the fevicol for maintainign a genuine friendship. Physical proximity can never e a factor because genuine friends like parents are always a phone call away whenever you might need them
@Khizzy A measure of how weel a person's lived his/her life is the number of friends they have accumalated over the sands of time and by that factor you really have lived your life well :)
@Jinguchakka Thnx and the music is a track called 'Bure Bure' from the soundtrack of a recent Bollywood flick called Bluffmaster
hmm.. I think you should have also mentioned about some flavours which you get bored of.. once you try to eat them more often...
wth man..i didnt send that stupid email!
i love this post
coz its about my two favourite things in the world - my friends and chocolate =D
excellent analogies..i could relate to evey word in this post rohan :)
Never thought of the chocolate analogy. Liked it a lot. And I love chocolates.
love chocolates n frenz !! thats all abt me !!
anyway..good work Rohit keep it up!
love.....MANAS
Just thought you would like to know, this MANAS dude has copied your posts and posted them on his blog with out giving you any credit.
I'm sorry for being a jerk and being the odd one not showering you with praise, but frankly, this is the girliest post that you have ever written.
Friends are like chocolate? C'mon! Beer would have worked just as well.
But, except the chocolate bit that bohered me, the rest of it was actually pretty good.
Apt comparison... though there are times when I feel friendship is slightly over-rated... You know how it was back in school or in college... you hardly had to put in any effort to keep friends. They were there. However, once you start working, life catches up on you... friends take a back seat. Now its more about "Damn, I must meet so and so." And thats when it loses it charm... when you start doing things because you MUST.
@ anarkist had to say something here although it's really up to Rohan to defend his post. But what is so girlie about chocolate and liking it? I really hate stereotyping genders like buying dolls for a girl and cars for a guy. Why can't people let children decide what they want? I think it is unfair to say that a guy is girlie for playing with dolls (BTW I also think GIs are dolls in war clothes) and having a tea-set and wanting to dress up like his sister. It is a part of growing up. And as far as chocolates....it's just food. Let's not assign genders to food. What's next? I'll be called manly for liking blazing hot chicken wings? Give me a break!
I should have seen that coming.
M: I can't go to any lengths to make sure that each and every of my comments is politically correct. I am not a sexist. What I wrote was to poke a harmless jab at the stereotypical notion of what is "girly". No need to give me the third degree for this. I have nothing against feminists, but just take it easy on knee jerk reactions to every little perceived faux pas. There are a lot less of men who are really as sexist than you think. Atleast in todays day and age.
this is tempting way to make people read my blog :) but your post did remind me of something write long ago.. so posted it.. and haan, gave your due credit.. hehe
Anarkist: okay I apologize. No I was not calling you a sexist or putting forth strong feminist views. In fact I am miles away from being a feminist myself. It was just that when I read the comment I really felt like you were stereotyping genders. I mean I love my pink T-shirt as much as my blue sweater.(Honestly I don't even have one pink shirt/ sweater or anything because I don't think I am a very pink kind of person). I believe there are things men do better than women and vice versa and I have no problems with men being men and women being women. I just had a little problem with your stereotyping. And no, I don't think you are sexist and I wasn't trying to hit back at you. But if it came out like that, I apologize.
And Rohan, sorry to have started this on your blog. Next time I'll take it elsewhere.
@Susu True that's one category I missed out on, something akin to Totti's alleged friendsip with Niranjan
@totti But of course you didnt but where's your sense of humor? :)
@Mahima Wait till you read my next post abt friends who get chocolates for dogs names Kelso
@M Thnk you for your compliments and springing up in my defence, I really do appreciate the gesture, I eally think it would meant as a tongue and cheek jibe and if I would have been anything more serious I would have pretty much responded on the lines that you did. P.S. I always appreciate a healthy discussion so feel free to air your commets anytime in here
@manas Thnks and the name's rohan
@ad Thnx for putting that up for notice, I really appreciate it
@Anarkist You know what I kinda sensed you were gonna get it as soon as i read your comment ;) and I knew you would have to defend your comments. Even though an analogy with the Yeunglings, Budlites and the Molsons would have been far more identifiable to you but I just didnt find them as endearing as my friends or chocolates
@Shivangi Friendship for the sake of friendship is definitely and big sham but I can assure your genuine friends will easily see the broad day light between the things you MUST do and the things you WOULD LOVE TO do for the sake of keeping up with your old friends
@ligne Thnx for the credit and your post if indeed beautiful
M: No harm done and no need to apologize. It's tiring to think about who all will be offended by what I say before I say anything. So I go ahead and just say it and deal with the brickbats later. BTW, I like chocolates too (who doesn't?!), but beer is definitely preferable. :)
Thanks guys! The analogy to chocolate was actually quite nice. Chocolate does come in so many diff kinds and yet is always sweet and satisfying and leaves a happy feeling. I'm glad I can think of you all as something as nice as chocolate.
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