Little Superstar

Youtube rocks :)

Mahaaaaaaabharata

I was reading this piece the other day about the renewed interest of many Bollywood film maker's in reconstructing a piece of mythology by making Mahabharata come alive on the big screen. The chance of exploring these age old epics in their own fashion offers tremendous opportunities to these film makers and it would surely be exciting to see how they tell this mother of stories on the silver screen. I have always had this secret wish of directing a movie someday too and coupled with my love for fantasy drafts I decided to jump into making a wish list of actors I would want if I wanted to make Mahabharata for the 70 mm screens too. Now my knowledge of this epic is limited to viewings (and repeat viewings) of its TV adaptation by B.R. Chopra so my choice of characters might be biased by the way they were projected on TV and also might have led me to come up with this wish list of only the characters that stayed with me even after the TV series was over.

The good guys
Yudhishthira: Ajay Devagan has done this bit before playing the guy who has truth on his side, the righteous one who treads the path of truth in the face of all adversities.
Bhima: The role requires an imposing physical presence, a gentle giant who often lets his anger get the better of him making Sanjay Dutt perfect for the part.
Arjuna: Who better than the best actors in the industry to play one of the important and my favorite character from Mahabharata. Aaamir Khan would be perfect perfectionist for this part that requires a certain degree of integrity to reflect in the person to play the character convincingly.
Nakula and Sahadev : I don't remember much about these twins but the record says that Nakula was extremely attractive so I went with Salman Khan for his sheer star power and also so that he doesn't have to act too much to dent this monster of a movie.
Draupadi: This is one of the toughest calls to make choosing probably the only important female part in a male dominated flick. To play a woman who is the object of affection of five important parts in the movie and to effectively play a woman who is so scorned that she is the underlying reason for the biggest baddest battle ever fought, Kajol heads my list followed closely by Rani Mukherjee and Aishwarya Rai with Vidya Balan being the wild card.
Krishna: Who better than Krrishh to play the second most important parts in Mahabharata. The person chosen has to project an aura and charisma very critical for this part while being a very good actor to be able to mouth those heavy lines without sounding cheesy hence the choice of Hrithik Roshan for the part.
Abhimanyu: One of my favorite characters again he shall win all the audience sympathies after his tragic death. I decided to go with either Shiney Ahuja or Abhishek Bachchan with their youthful looks and ability to play to the galleries with their eventual and tragic deaths.

The baddies
Karna: Probably the third most important character in the movie I decided to go with Shah Rukh Khan to play this guy with the heart of gold who sides with the baddies because his word is more important to him. Also casting SRK brings to the screen the dream pitting of Khan vs Khan which is a guaranteed crowd puller.
Duryodhana: For this part I decided to go with Akshay Kumar, an actor who has improved by leaps and bounds and has displayed a mean evil streak in previous movies. Saif Ali Khan could be good too as he displayed with his mean streak in Omkara.
Shakuni: For this small but very important part I went with Boman Irani, for those who think he is only good at comedy revisit Khosla Ka Ghosla and Being Cyrus.

The character actors
Bhishma: The easiest choice of all choosing the Big B to play the Big B of Mahabharata. He will easily do justice to this character who bound by oath undergoes a lot of torture but still sticks by his word Amitabh Bachchan.
Kunti: I just had to cast Raakhee as the mother of the Pandavas and who undergoes a lot of grief fully knowing that the battle will not end without at least one of her sons dying in it.

I had a rocking time coming up with this list which went through a few revisions the more I thought about it. You guys help yourself and engage in some fantasy fun too while I think about coming up with an all time list from all decades from Bollywood.

Just a thought

I heard creating perfectly happy existences was a thankless job, I won't be one to break tradition but I am just glad they picked the right man for the job.

The apple tree

A trip back to India is always a learning in more ways than one. You look back at times you have spent in your motherland, you reflect at what has been and what has shaped your life to the point at where you stand on that day. You look around at places and people who have also had a formative influence on your life and you try and put them against the mental pictures you had of them before. You find out a lot of people have actually changed, but maybe its just you who has. Maybe you have matured and gained a different perspective of them or maybe its just them. A lot of questions remain and a lot of questions remain unanswered. One of these people you get to observe quite closely is your parents, one of the most important things in your life, people battle hardened in life's war, people to whom you speak to almost everyday but who still are separated from you by the physical distances. However you notice how these holders of your genetic pool are really splitting images of yourself split only by spaces of time and a generation. You slowly notice uncanny similarities at they way they handle situations, the way they react, the way they handle people. Its scary at first to finally notice these things which you might have missed when you were less mature. But at the end of the day I realized it was a learning curve. Its a time to pat yourself on the back for the good things you have imbibed and admire in your parents and on the other hand its a time to consciously bring about changes if you think need be, on things which make you incompatible with people while you still can because you are still in a position to do so. Which way you look at it I think if you look hard enough it will be there for you to see that the apple never falls too far from the tree.

DELHI .... from the back of an auto rickshaw

India on my mind

SAD at what I leave behind
UPSET at what could have been a longer stay
APPREHENSIVE of changes beyond my control
BUMMED at my cover of my surprise landing being blown away
CONTENT that I leave behind my nascent footprints on my career
SURPRISED at how it still hasnt sunk in
HAPPY I have India on my mind now
ELATED I shall have India running through my lungs in a few days

Yours truly anonymously

Blogging for many people has for long been a release from their routine life. A space where they hang loose venting out their creative energies or as an overflowing pot for their emotions. For a lot of people it has been the diary they have never kept or have been too conscious to keep one. For many others it has been a shout out to life in general, from a budding storyteller, a wannabe poet, a seeker of truth, or even from a frustrated individual trying to give meaning to these series of unfortunate co incidences in his/her life. Many people have raised their voices anonymously while many others have chosen a more open route attaching faces to their voices. Personally for me it was never a big deal, it was as simple as filling out my name on any for I would fill out. I have a picture up on my blog simply because there was a tab on the blogger form that asked for it, nothing more nothing less to it. A lot of people have asked me whether my family knows about this blog of mine and the answer to that is not really because I don't go hoarse advertising my blog from the rooftops. Its one of those things that they would so easily find out about if they googled my name but till the time they don't I guess I do enjoy a certain degree of freedom about my blogging subjects. Somewhere down the line this made me appreciate to a small degree, the overenthusiastic zeal with which some bloggers protect their identities. Whether they do it to add enigma and mystery to their real life persona's ........ not really, but whether it helps them stay in their comfort zone as they blog about a variety of subjects ....... quite possibly and understandably yes.

Alvida

Main hun woh musafir
Rehguzar kinara hai jiska humraahi
Bas ek hai duvidha
Kya kah paaunga main
Is humrahi ko alvida
Kyunki meri manzil hai us paar

Where were you when ..........?

Lakdi ki kaathi, Kaathi pe ghoda (Masoom): Trying to sing along as a toddler only getting the 'takbak takbak' part right and trying to get a free horse ride from almost anyone to everyone.

Aaja shaam hone aayi (Maine Pyar Kiya): Trying hard to convince my mom to buy me a 'Friend' cap, cmon cut me some slack I was 7 or 8 years old and thank you Mom for not submitting to all my silly demands

Ek do teen (Tezaab): Hoping and praying my neighbors across the road would play the song on their cool new stereo system so that the kids could groove to the song again

Oye Oye, Tirchi Topiwaale (Tridev): Just trying to find places all over my street which were playing the song so that I could just go and dance over there

Jumma Chumma De De (Hum): Humming that song very very consciously under my breath all day for the fear of my Mom catching me singing it (damn that song was catchy)

Choli ke peeche (Khalnayak) / Tu cheez badi hai mast mast (Mohra) : Trying to find safe corners to sing the songs before a tap on the shoulder and a pair reproaching eyes told me it wasn't such a good idea

Chaiyya Chaiyya (Dil Se): Discovering cargo pants were indeed cool and Arbaaz Khan's only redeemable quality (for the uninitiated he married the angel grooving in the video of the song)

Aashiq Banaya Aapne (Aashiq Banaya Aapne): Blasting the number all over the streets of New Jersey on my IPod

Kajra Re (Bunty aur Bubli): Doing the Kajra re step and falling in love with Aishwarya Rai all over again :)

They say songs define a generation but for me songs can easily define my life till now, each of these numbers clearly demarcating the point of time I have stood at, with them in my life, acting as one of the most sweet sounding and very cherished time scale. So where were you when these numbers were burning up the charts?

To the one

To the one who knew so much about nothing
To the one who knew so much about the one who knew so much about nothing
To the one who knew so much about the female mind
To the one who thought he knew so much about the female mind
To the one who wrote a nothing about nothing

Remakes .......... Naaaaaaaaah

As media persons and dailies waited with their bated breath for Ram Gopal Verma to reveal Gabbar's new look for his version of Sholay, or for the 20th Oct release to see what Farhan Akhtar's done with Don or what J.P.Dutta ha s done with Umrao Jaan, I was once again left exasperated at the futility of the whole situation. Ever since Devdas was redone and redux'ed by Sanjay Leela Bansali to rake in the big bucks lot of the filmmakers have been looking at remakes as an easier option to rake in the big bucks. Film making has for long been an art form meant to be an extension of your creative juices flowing on a 70mm screen. And that is exactly why remakes don't exactly do the trick for me. Remakes are almost like music remixes, in which a certain nobody piggybacks on a geniuses' back onto the road to fame and glory even though they don't or might not have a single creative bone in their body. I mean sure enough you will get people curious and talking when you announce a remake of a past flick but that is not curiosity being generated because of your talent. The real reason is because people identify and connect with the past flick and you shouldn't be getting any free buzz just because of that or any credit for that. And sure enough people will watch your movie because they know your story, scenes, dialogues and scenes from your movie making it a big success, but is that why you picked up a camera in the first place? Whatever happened to that little voice in you which asked you to make movies just because you loved to make em so that you could translate your little ideas and make them unfold of the big screen to make people root for your characters, laugh and cry with them, and take back with them a little piece of movie magic firmly stamped across their minds with them?

Although

Elation is elation, painted
Sarcasm is sarcasm, serrated
Reputations are reputations, tainted
Co-incidences are co-incidences, slated
Strangers are strangers, aquainted
Chances are chances, fated
Passion is passion, jaded
Goodwill is goodwill, belated
Memories are memories, dated

Memorable quotes from a not so memorable movie

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.' From the movie Coach Carter

So this is how it ends

For those who wanna play catch up
1, 2, 3a/3b

His last few days had been a blur. He had thought and thought and then thought a little more about the infinite possibilities that might possibly lead him to meeting her again. The crazy part was he didn't really even know what he would do if he even did meet her but still he spent a major part of time wondering if he could somehow will fate to give him one more meeting with her. He drove on to work past the cafe where he had met her last and his eyes scanned the floor more out of hope than anything else. She had stopped showing up for work there 2 days after he had last met her there. he drove on once again late for work not helped by the piling morning rush hour traffic. He suddenly noticed some free room in the right most lanes and he jumped lanes happy to catch some breathing room and revved up his car. Suddenly as he caught some speed he caught something from the corner of his eye and he braked as hard as he possibly could. His car went out of control skidding between his lane and the pavement. The cars behind him went into a crazy tailspin but managed to stay clear of each other and the traffic. Meanwhile oblivious to all this he tried to gain some degree of control on his own car but he soon realised it was futile. He braced himself for impact however miraculously it never came. His car finally after swerving 180 degrees managed to come to a stop exactly beside where his corner of eyes had been transfixed.

Sally: Some show you are putting on today, pretty impressive
Harry: Oh cmon overlook the technicalities, hop into your ride
Sally: Presumptuous as ever, do you feel lucky today punk?
Harry: More like the luckiest man in the world

phoenixrizes.blogspot.com

As bloggers all around the world celebrated the first anniversary of his independence he looked back at the empty blogger window trying to surmise the changes his life had gone through. He recalled the days when he had taken his first fledgling steps as a medical student overjoyed at having gotten into one of his dream med schools. He recalled the days of getting bullied by his erstwhile seniors and now best friends. He recalled how he had sat up late nights waiting for the night mess to open up during exams dying to grab that cup of tea in the Delhi winters. He recalled how he had warmed to the first rays of the sun in the courtyard of the hostel. Those had been good times where he had stepped out of the shadows of his overachieving siblings and found his own voice in this world. It was sometime during those days when a combination of spare time and unlimited internet at his hostel had led him to open his own blog. The blog was an autobiographical diary of his life lived surrogately by this guy called Phoenix. He always had a knack of writing which was lost somewhere during his teenaged years buried under the weight of his medical ambitions. He wrote about his life, his daily routines lacing it with dollops of humor giving people the lowdown on life's fundaes at the same time. The blog initially caught on amongst his friends who loved the inside scoops of one their closest friend's life. They said his style was fresh and vibrant and they liked it because they always felt a real connection with the writer. Soon the blog caught on with friends of his friends and their friends till it caught on a life of its own. Soon it became quite a rage in Delhi as people discussed, argued, debated, hated and fell in love with every single word written out by him. He became the voice of the youth who began identifying with him as he became the faceless darling of thousands of people. He could never convince himself totally that he didn’t enjoy all the attention but it was sometime during these days that he noticed that his health began to suffer. His health about which he mentioned about far and between on his blog became a subject of media speculation and it was only after extensive checkups that he was diagnosed with AIDS. His life fell ripped apart around him as he struggled to come to terms with this harsh truth. They gave him 18 months at the maximum before he would succumb to the inevitable truth. Being a public figure made it even worse as he had a tough time at his college due to the stigma attached with the disease and soon enough he was made to quit. That was the last straw and even though love and sympathy continued to pour in through his thousands and thousands of readers he made a public announcement that he remembered as clearly as the day he had typed it out on his blog. He announced that he didn’t want to go out crawling out of this world that had given him so much. He said he would live his life to the fullest for one whole year and then exactly a year after then with the support of his relatives and friends take his life with the aid of an injection. This announcement had been followed by a pent up media frenzy and channels all across the world discussed this unprecedented announcement by this voice that had been heard by millions around the world and reopened the age old debate about euthanasia. The government was riled up too in this matter as many debates and public interest litigations requesting thwarting any such suicide attempt. The local police under orders soon issued an arrest warrant on his name so that he could be protected from attempted any such thing and he was asked to be put into protective custody. This order was again followed by outrage by all the fans of his blog who asked him to be left alone saying it wasn’t fair for a dying man to be meted out such treatment. He had however kind of anticipated such a step by the authorities and had with the help of his friends managed to escape to an undisclosed destination in Europe. As he had lived his life in hiding for the past one year he had done whatever his heart had desired while still logging all these details onto his blog. And that is how he had retained his connection with all his readers who gave him their whole hearted support and some so far as came forward with financial support to fund his stay in Europe. But al this time away from home he had had plenty of time to think and he slowly had realized that his public announcement had just been a knee jerk reaction to the anger he had built up due to the shock and his helplessness at the situation. He had acknowledged that this past one year had been the best time of life and he had realized how much he wanted to live everyday left of his life till he had no more. He announced on his blog that he was no longer interested in ending his life; instead he said he wanted to go back to a country which he had called home for all these years. This announcement was met by varied reaction, some were happy he had decided to live on with the gift of life, some said he was a big cheat and had been perpetrating a fraud at the behest of some blogging company for free hits while others simply braced themselves for welcoming him back to India. He smiled content at this outpouring of love; he smiled because the phoenix has once again risen from its ashes.

P.S. The seed for this story was sown by Saggistica a while back on the comments tab of one of my posts, thank you

Celebrate Munna Jayanti asap

Every once in a while a movie comes along that makes you think long after the empty soda glasses and popcorn bags have been trashed and refuses to fade away after the credits do. These movies do turn out to be the subject of widespread debates and water cooler conversations and the characters get taken home along with the movie audiences as popular lines from the movie get thrown about in regular chitchats. However these movies require original script backed by crisp editing and an air tight screen play. That is why these movies are few and far between and that is why 2006 has been such a great year for all Bollywood buffs. It began with Omprakash Mehra's very very original and fresh Rang De basanti, was followed up by Vishal Bharadwaj's Shakespearean’s adaptation Omkara and has been recently jazzed up again by Lage Raho Munnabhai. Three films which in terms of style and content could not be more different from each other but all of which have become cult classics and all of which I have enjoyed equally.

However this post has been triggered by the latest of the three movies. Sequels have an odd way of going down slope after people follow up on their wonderful first time efforts. The people making them get drunk with their own success at the same time remaining fearful of a follow up failure. So most sequels are not made from the heart and always with an intention of pleasing a particular target audience and often lack the soul which is buried under tones of gloss and style over substance cinema. And that is exactly why Lage Raho... comes across as such a shining star in this year that is already crowded with sequels from the Bollywood stable. The movie blends humor with a message without ever getting too in your face or preachy. It brings back two very lovable characters from the first part while changing the setup around them and keeping them away from their mannerisms and afflictions. As RDB brought back very relevant messages about India and Indianness LRB does the same but from a very different and fresh Gandhian perspective. There is a constant thread of humor running through the movie which tugs at your every muscle and gut till you can laugh no harder. The humor is also very situational and natural without having to resort to loud gags and getups. I watched the movie over the weekend and I can’t wait to catch it again asap so all you people who haven’t done so I have just one piece of advice 'Jaldi dekh ke aa naa Mamu, ekdum mast picture hai'.

Passing thought cing

You don't need a Nobel everyday to make your day

P.S. An Oscar might be handy nontheless ;)

DCH

DCH means a lot of different things to different people (btw if the alphabets D, C and H put together means nothing to you there isn't any point reading on). It has clearly been one of the most universally acclaimed films from the Bollywood stable and one of the freshest splashes by a first time director. I am sure people hold the film close to their heart for different reasons but today with this post I wish to point out the lessons in life it hands out as to what kind of person one ought to or ought not be to gain universal acceptability in the society. The 'what not be's' are littered all across the movie and serve as classic examples to all of us. Right from the overpossesive and brash Preity's boyfriend, to the bumbling 'timetable' geek, to the 'I've got you by your skin' girlfriend played by Suchitra, to the lost puppy in love wannabe 'Aaaaaaaa.....kaash' girlfriend, these are all people we encounter in life and are left with the feeling with a 'wish we hadn't' feeling at the end of the day.

Now moving over to the principal characters of the movie I am sure a lot of us identify with at least one of three characters Akash, Sid or Sam brilliantly played out by Aaamir Khan, Akshaye Khanna and Saif Ali Khan respectively. Between the three they cover most kinds of people that we encounter in our lives. I am sure if one really wanted they could easily pick out the Akash out of a party, or the Sid amongst a group of friends or the Sam on a dance floor. In the movie Aamir plays a happy go lucky kid who is always the life of the party but a person who cares very little for other people's emotions. Saif plays a die hard clueless romantic who is always the most gullible and gets picked on by most of his friends as he goes on lovingly bumbling through his life. Akshaye plays the moony eyed deep introvert thinker who doesn't care for much outside his own comfort zone. But through the emotional roller coaster ride of the movie we see that all 3 characters change in their own ways. Thus Akash earns to care, he learns to love and he turns into a bit like Sid's character in the end forced to be more empathetic in life. Sam turns into a bit of Akash as he learns to be his own man and make decisions for himself. Sid turns into a bit of Sam learns to open up to people like his mom and the woman he falls in love with as he is forced to let go of his emotions not fearful anymore of getting hurt emotionally. Just like the movie I think we all too in some way start out as one of these individuals in our lives. But just like the movie we all change for the better. We mature to be better individuals.

Just Do It !

Most current bloggers start off as readers of other's blogs. They develop their favorites gradually intrigued by the concept of putting their thoughts down, some even developing a tiny lil tinge of fascination for particular styles of writing. Some start of as just readers moving on to be anonymous commentators, some moving on to be regular bloggers but this post is not about them. Its about the others who still sit on the sidelines telling themselves they think they should get themselves a blog someday. However be it out of sheer laziness of a supposed shortage of time they never do. Sometimes they just keep trying to convince themselves that they don't have the necessary skills to write a broadly entertaining blog. However they need to realize that no one really starts off as an expert when writing blogs. That probably explains those awkward first posts. Lots of blogs get stuck on that first post but the trick is to keep on writing. The posts slowly and magically get easier to pen down. Personally I don't even think anyone really gets better. Its like being asked to walk butt naked down a fashion show. You could really never get good at it but if you do it 4-5 times you get more comfortable in your skin. And besides writing blogs has never been about becoming the next big thing in the world of writing, its but a very personal means of expression and all of us being inherently different from one another can irrigate a bunch of thoughts previously unwritten. Blogging has never been about creating the next masterpiece. I blog whenever I feel like I have something to say, to put up and that's why when the fun goes out of it someday I will walk away, just like that. But this post is not about me, its about all of you who really deserve a blog for themselves, its time you got yourself one. In other words to quote one of the most famous tag lines in advertising history 'Just Do It!' and when you do please drop me a line.

Reflections

People are inherently different from one another and that's one of the primary things that makes life so interesting. You never really know who you might meet everyday and even if you know who you don't really know what new side of them you will see that day. When two people meet they are brought together by common likes and dislikes, intrigued by varied tastes and pulled apart by seemingly lofty standards they set for others in the lives. These two forces battle out in the playground of the mind till they discover redeeming qualities that binds them in a bond for life, splits them apart by an ever widening gap or wedges a wall of indifference between them. The former for obvious reasons is the most memorable as it connects people on many levels. They get used to each other forming friendships and layering out strands of history between them. Then people go their own ways probably never to meet again but those friendships stand as does the history. And when time and a bunch of inexplicable reasons and fortuitous coincidences bring them together no ice breakers are required. They stand together on level plains on mountains of history and they need no ice breakers. All they mutter are muted thank yous.

P.S. I dont really know where this post was headed. It was one of those times when I was really happy and wanted to mark it with a blog but really ddidnt know how to. This post is reflecting back on the past month when I met up and caught up with many of my close friends from both school and college back from Delhi. People I thought would never meet again but I did, out in a place thousands and thousands of miles away from where I had first met them.

The Fool

A thousand thorns
Shouldn't make you scorn
I may limit my doses
But I'll continue to love the roses

Given a choice they will do the right thing
Exceptions are always TO, and not THE rule
And that is why I go on believing
In the inherent goodness of people, what do I know I am just a fool

BLO gger / CK

Out of ideas and creatively broke, but the speed breaker is only but a bump on a road, which itself is but a means to a journey. Meanwhile will blog on topics, on demand so go ahead and shoot your wish list.

Untitled

He stood at the street corner on this bright sunny day, smells of fresh pizza wafting out of the Italian restaurant he stood in front of. He wondered how late his friend would be, but in the hearts of hearts he knew he would be pretty late if his past record was anything to go by. He had himself deliberately come there fifteen minutes but his friend had always managed to out do him again. He would have given him a piece of his mind had it not been such a nice day on this winter morning. He stood there soaking the sun watching people walk by, it had always been one of his favorite past times. He looked at the baby playfully enjoying the bumpy ride of his new sparkly pram, he looked at the girl joyfully clinging to this guy's arm as he was trying to block the visions of spending the whole day at the mall, he looked at the construction worker all jumpy after his dose of caffeine who couldn't wait to get to work and then his gaze stopped at this beautiful angel standing right across the street. She didn't seem in a rush to get anywhere as she stood there staring at him. He suddenly felt all warm and woozy as he tried to hurriedly get his unruly mop into some semblance as he uncomfortably shifted around. As he was looking around he noticed another girl sitting across the glass in the restaurant waving animatedly at him. His mind ran a quick flashback to try and place her but drew a blank. So he shifted his attention to the angel again but was kind of embarrassed to see that she was still staring back at him. He wished she could her shades off so he could read her face any better as he turned his gaze away. He suddenly noticed that the girl inside the restaurant had come out and was walking up to him. Confused he stood over there as she walked over and started speaking something animatedly. If he could somehow HEAR the words she could never SPEAK he might have heard her cursing him for not helping the girl across the road cross the road she could never SEE.

Happy New Year

She looked back at herself in the mirror and at the perfect life the person staring back from it was living. She had the prefect career, loving husband, the cutest daughter in the world and a great life to go with them. She really had no reason to complain, but then she never did anyways. She always used to say that there was no point, and if there was then complaints would be the cure to all evils. She had a great year professionally as a fledgling psychiatrist and she couldn’t wait to get done with her last patient on the last day of the year. She looked at her appointments and the name that stared up from it seemed kind of unfamiliar. New patients were always difficult and one should always wait till the third meeting before getting down to the resolving the issues she recalled. As soon as the clock struck 3 there was a knock on the door as her last patient entered through the door.

Happy New Year, I hope I am not late.
You are early for the former and late for the latter
Well I am sorry I walked in without an appointment
You don’t have an appointment, I am sorry I am supposed to see someone at this time. Maybe you can call up and set up something for the next week.
You mind if I just wait around for a while.
I don’t see the point because I won’t be taking any more patients today.
Consider it a favor, and besides I am sure you can give me a session in case your last patient doesn’t show up.
Well only if you insist.

He was pretty insistent alright. The patient didn’t show up and she had her first ever session with him. He was a very successful businessman who had lost his direction since he had lost his fiancée and girlfriend for 2 years, about 2 months back. She was also to discover that he didn’t have any reason in the whole wide world why he needed to be visiting a psychiatrist. All he had a deep rooted fear of loneliness and didn’t want to be alone on a day like the New Year’s Eve. So he had just set out from his home and walked around over the streets till he ended up on her doorstep. Of course he didn’t tell her this himself, he was too proud for that. She had realized that right away as he stumbled his way through one lie after another just delaying the session hoping to procrastinate the inevitable fearful of the loneliness that had become his only friend and his worst enemy. However she could see him standing over some invisible ledge and that if she let him know that she was on to his lies it probably would have been the last straw. Whether it was out of pity, sympathy or empathy she didn’t know but she let him stay on that day as they chatted for over an hour not as a patient and doctor but just friends.

She didn’t see him again and this odd meeting resigned itself to some recess of her mind. She went on with her life meeting more people helping them with their problems and mending more lives. She had always considered it as what she was born to do and being a natural listener helped. She had never been short on empathy and that was a natural ally as she treated her patients. But all the sorrow slowly and slowly starting seeping into her life sub consciously as all the doctor patients talks made their way to her home. She began leading an affected life. There were days at a stretch when she felt low or inexplicable reasons an undesirable off-shoot of her empathetic nature probably. Her personal life went through mini-crises as her husband tried to keep persuading her into leaving her job. He felt it was taking a huge toll on her, eating out a piece of her after every patient she met and as she continued to live on harbored emotions. However she couldn’t even imagine such a world.

It was exactly a year later but right on New Year’s Eve he was back. She let him through without an appointment this time; she wasn’t having as many people coming in nowadays anyways. She told him she looked in much better shape and he told her he wished he could say about her. She caught up with his life, they laughed, she almost cried. She told him she had always known that she had known why he had come in and he said he knew she had. Time flew as they chatted up like two old friends and before she knew it was time for him to go. Almost thankfully he uttered no thank you and went off just as he had come in the first time.

Her life slowly began to fall to pieces. She tried to distance her professional life from her personal one taking in lesser patients but she couldn’t stop doing in altogether. There lay a gap in what she wanted to do and what she had to do to and her life slowly and slowly fell right through it. She went through a phase of depression where when she was actually asked to stop practicing altogether. She somehow continued with her life and ear passed by. She did surprise herself when she found there was a part of her that was waiting for him on New Year’s Eve. However he didn’t show up as was the routine for the past two years and the next year after that. Meanwhile gradually there was a space building up in her married life which was finally split wide apart by an ugly divorce. She moved out to her parent’s place for a while continuing her practice from there. However soon she felt even more of a failure matching up to life’s lofty standards and she moved back to her old house.

She started practicing again and slowly and slowly her patients began to roll in. But with that rolled back the grief and slowly permeated her life again. She never had many friends to speak of and after her parent’s death in a car accident she got very lonely. She started drinking and court even limited her visits with her daughter to a bare minimum on the account of her manic depression and drinking problems. One day she sat back in her room and realized that she didn’t find life worth living anymore. Loneliness had become her only friend and her worst enemy. She didn’t have a cause worth dying for but then she didn’t have one worth living for either. She sat back in her favorite chair bottle of pills in hand wondering if there was a lonelier person on the place of this earth. Just as she was about to pop the pills into her mouth she was kinda startled by a knock on the door.

Happy New Year, I hope I am not late.
You are early for the former and late for the latter

And they chatted up like old friends again. The equations might have changed but there weren’t supposed to be any in friendship were there?

Holy Matrimony !!!

What's going on with the world. It's as if the universe is conspiring to take all the happy single people around me and bind them into pairs of bickering couples for life. Its amazing how many people I have known in the recent past are suddenly getting hitched. A lot of my friends from high school who I have caught up with recently have been happily married for a while, a few from college have suspiciously changed their statuses on their online profiles without bothering to inform me of the news until they are prodded to cough up the dough and last but not the least I discovered number of friends from grad school are getting on this bandwagon too. All
this time while I have hit with a rush of these developments all I seem to be asking these people first up is what's the big rush? (of course I follow it up with a sheepish congratulatory message later). All those people you do realize that there's no more unlimited cricket weekends for you, forget about golf, no beer pong nights, your mom and dad's numbers will be demoted from speed dial #1, a violent end shall befall your 'Frank the Tank' days, your prime time TV watching will switch from Monday night football Chappelle's Show and South park to Desperate Housewives and Lost etc etc. So its time you re evaluate all this in the light of the above and think whether all of it is worth it for that Bachelor's party. I know I am not painting a pretty picture but no one said it would be one :).

I knew a lot of them are goaded into holy matrimony by insistent parents but I think all those moms and dads get into the act only by a hidden desire to play God looking at all those tones of profiles of suitable boys and girls before they pick one out of a surrogate swayamvar. And yes those 'desire to play God' genes do manifest in you all too when you drive deliberately at 5 above at 70 in a 65 zone just because you feel like it. So anyways all this talk of my friends getting hitched somehow made its way to my Dad's ears and what followed was this conversation I had been dreading.

Dad: Don't you think you should get settled now
Me: Oh cmon Dad not you
Dad: But no seriously you think I should start looking unless you have
other plans.
Me: Oh camaaaaan I cant believe we are having this conversation, I am good for another 3 yrs plzzz.
Dad: Ok ok we will talk abt it when you come to India
Me: I am sooo not looking fwd to that conversation.

Et tu Dad I thought you guys were COOL, however 6 months (abt the time when I shall be flying to Delhi) is a loooong enough time for anyone to forget a phone conversation right?

Butted out

The curtain came down yesterday on one of the biggest and keenly followed sporting spectacles in the world, the Football World Cup 2006. Even though the best team might not have won, for that matter they didn't even finish up as runners up and even though the best player of the cup didn't even get his Golden ball award (not publically anyways) I must say that it was worth and hype and lived up to its star billing. It was a cup that marked a general shift in the style of play with the focus shifting and substance ruling over style. May be that is one of the reasons why there aren't too many spectacular goals that spring to mind save Maxi Rodriguez's wonder strike when recalling the play from the last one month and also the reason why the best 2 TEAMS and not the 2 teams with the best players fought it out in the final. The cup made news in the first half only due to some atrocious officiating often pitifully being the cause of the final results while on the other hand a lot of big names failed to live up to their star billing including Ronaldinho, Rooney, Messi, Owen and Ballack. A lot on insta villains were created like Christiano Ronaldo, Rooney and but of course he biggest name of them all Zizou. What Materazzi said to Zidane will go down as one the hotly debated media questions in the days to come till one of the involved parties breaks their silence on the matter but possible contenders for answers might be a certain bald spot and a certain Veronique :). Whatever might be the answer it has taken some sheen off Italy's win as Ronaldo's mystery stroke did after the 1998 final. Also nothing quite justifies ZIdane's actions on the field because that kind of chatter has always been part of soccer tradition and reacting in the fashion that he did doesn't befit one of the legends of the game especially considering what was at stake for his team. I have a weird feeling the much televised 'French Butt' will go on to become on the favored weapons of choice in bar brawls for years to come :).

And I wonder........

Death is one of the most over bearing, over powering and long lasting emotions known to the human mind. I have personally never been a big proponent of it and neither have I ever spent unearthly hours discussing the whole philosophical side to it. There have been times that I have stared at it in the eye often managing to blink and walk away. I don’t mind that though, all I hate is to be seated on any ride with it as my co passenger. The more I think about it the more depressing the emotion seems to be to me and its not because I fear it, its simply a realization that I am very ill equipped to deal with the whole concept of it. There fore I come across days when the whole event even though totally unrelated depresses me to unusually low ebb. What is it about death that permeates boundaries of nations and blood lines unnoticed and unannounced till it drives a cold dagger across our hearts. Is that why they call it the final truth of life laced in all its glorious inevitability?

Tag tag such a drag

I am thinking about..
why the hell such tags still float around continuing to torment bloggers
I said...
On jinguchakka's blog that I hate tags in general but this one was a particularly horrid one.
I want to...
meet someone in real life like Julie Delpy's character in 'Before Sunrise'
I wish...
I could go back to writing blogs about issues that I feel writing about
I miss...
New Delhi
I hear...
people out .... on most occasions anyways
I wonder...
how, I wonder why yesterday you told me about the blue blue sky ..........
I regret...
nothing. Well I do regret not buying that "no regrets' Nike T shirt I sooo liked
I am...
What I am
I dance...
the chicken well
I sing...
very often and along with most songs, a sampler might be dropped off here on popular demand :)
I cry...
almost, every time I hear Rehman hum 'Ye jo des hai tera'
I am not always...
easily pleased by other people's cooking efforts
I write...
in Hindi at times just to see if I still remember to
I confuse...
people to buy time in the middle of an argument
I need...
a cheap Newark-New Delhi ticket for mid Dec
I should try...
period
I finish...
This tag FINALLY hoping not to be doing any in the near future

What's 8 yrs between a bunch of friends

Somewhere the years roll by unnoticed
Courtesy of a distracted eye
An eye that holds dreams for the future
But an eye that holds memories
Memories of a wondrous past
A past tinged in innocence
An innocence probably lost
But a few co incidences later
The years roll back again
You rewind the laughs, the mischiefs everything
Its as if it was just yesterday
When we sat together and said our goodbyes
With a promise to meet again
And meet again they did



P.S. On an unrelated note I love you Julie Delpy

Home's where .................

It hadn't been the most smoothest of transitions. Sure he had welcomed landing his first job but tinged the usual withdrawal symptoms of leaving a place he had known for over 2 years coupled with being thrust into the harsh city life of a new place, a sea change from the quiet town he had lived in. The job had been great, he just hated the drive he had to take to and back from it. The traffic was rough, with people honking away to glory running on some budgeted honks for a day plan. People were always rushing trying to take the shortest paths, didn't matter if it was over you rather than by you. He never liked doing things he didn't enjoy and may be that was one of the reasons why the prospect of this drive twice a day didn't immensely enthuse him everytime. Today was another such day as he got into his new car to get back home from work. He did ok till he ran into some serious traffic on the main highway. An SUV cut him off without indicating and he barely braked in time letting off an infuriated honk that drowned his favorite unmentionables. He knew it was going to be a loong ride home and he turned his attention to his happy place turning up the music. He was kinda lost as he came over a steep incline when he noticed the car in front had pulled up quite sharply. Not another accident he moaned to himself realizing that his misery had just worsened down to a crawl back home on this road. But he realized it wasn't a careless driver jumping lanes or a distracted cellphone user that had caused the slowdown as he came over the hill. His eyes were hit by the most crisp and golden rays of the sun he had seen for a long long time and almost every car around him grinded to a stop trying to adjust to the glare. Bathed in this brilliant light there wasn't much the BMW's and the Porsche's for all the money spent into buying them could do about it and the traffic ground to a halt. As he basked in this brilliant sunshine for some reason struggling to hold in the beauty of this sight, he suddenly felt warm he suddenly felt WELCOME.

A tribute to the anonymous commentor

I believe in the right to free speech very strongly and it was one of the prime reasons why I have always allowed anonymous commenting on this blog. I know that most bloggers whenever moved in any ways by a person's comment on their blog like to immediately go the person's blog to find out more about the person, its just human nature and that is where the anonymous commentors give you nothing to work with. I guess it all adds to an air of mystery about them and that is why some anonymous comments stay in your head for a long while for some inane reason. Here below I reproduce some anonymous masterpieces from my blog. As much as I would like to deny it do intrigue me with a feeling of having known you from somewhere so if any of you still reading can claim ownership to them give an anonymous shout out :)

Anonymous said...
So different yet so alike
Seems like we've met
Maybe in another life?

Anonymous said...
Hey, nice blog. I have been reading ur stuff for quite sometime.
I cannot help but agree with point5, especially since you have made your identity public? Anyways, keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...
This reminds me of something that happened a few yrs ago. 107.1 FM (I think) radio in Mumbai had a very popular RJ. His voice was so freakin sexy that women all ages used to drool over it and ofcourse the show's ratings were sky rocketing.
One fine day, Bombay Times happened to post his pic on page3. Needless to say, most women were extremely disappointed. It might sound shallow but right after that, everyone I knew stopped listening in to the show.

Anonymous said... Come on. I am sure this song was for "some one". You definitely had someone in mind , didn't you ? Some one you know right now or may be someone back in india ?

Anonymous said...
hi rohan, have been reading your blogs since quite some time now. i must say i was surprised to see two news faces of your personality today.
i thought this was a very emotional blog you wrote today (first new face). then i read mr anonymous's comments and what you said in response (face 2). well to tell you the truth he just expressed his opinion and it just so happens that his opinions dont match yours. that's okay. that happens. my blogs are also very controversial and i get to hear so much from people. to tell you the truth, i too get angry at times. but mostly i take it in spirit and try and understand what other people are thinking and why they are thinking what they are thinking. and you know what, that helps. i can say this cause i am older than you and have seen more in life.
i am telling you all this only because i think you write well. you dont have to listen to me. you are not compelled to. enjoy your comments.
ps: someday i will give you the link to my blog, and then may be you understand what i mean.

Anonymous said...
Then go home...why do you continue to stay here?

Koi Pahailee said...
Though i almost always enjoy your posts..especially SWADES
but i must say that this is one posts that sucks...
(honest opinion:))

Anonymous said...
"good posts go commented" ... nice point made. I'll tell why I don't comment on posts that I feel are very good. I do not want to spoil a delicious maincourse with a mediocre dessert.

Bloggers don't fear, help is here

This post is dedicated to all those brave soldiers who are brave enough to throw caution to the winds putting a lot on the line only and only for their love for the world of blogs. Now I am sure a lot of you are aware how addictive these blogs get after a point and how you during a course of a especially boring day keep hopping between your favorites hoping to see an update or for that matter anything new and interesting that might prevent you from dozing off at work or your school or university. Its a particularly hard job as you try to grab a peek from the prying eyes of your boss or an overtly boring teacher. You know the risks are large and if caught spending your precious time on them you are really in for it.

So today I wish to share some trade secrets of this very delicate art of how to sneak a peak at these blogs without getting fired at work or dropping a grade at school. Well first and foremost one thing you might notice is that a lot of blogs contain music and as soon as you open the blog your cubicle becomes the unintended recipient of a lot of your colleague's attention. So the thumb rule is to always have the mute turned on your laptops. This also helps to avoid getting caught using messengers at work. Yes a lot of you do know how embarrassing it can get when in the middle of a presentation or meeting a message pops up accompanied with that hard to miss 'ding' sound. Another method to surf blogs safely would be to use RSS readers so that you get email notification whenever a blog is updated or someone comments on your blog. But that's a safe option and we all know how we hate to play safe and love to flirt with danger especiallywhen it comes to our bosses. So if you still want to keep checking all blogs for updates here's an original, tried and tested method. As soon as you see a new post you can copy and paste it to a word file and then sink back in your chair and read the word file without any fear. So something like this end up looking like a harmless this and thus a potential 'I am sorry, we are gonna have to let you seek more favorable avenues of employment :(' magically transforms to 'Oh my my I cant believe you've already started work on that report already :)'. Another option that works beautifully as an alternate means to the beaten to death and very very suspicious 'alt+tab' manouvre is to use this PANIC button in case you get walked on upon in the middle of a very interesting blog. In fact I am so kicked with this idea that I am thinking of leaving permanent tab on the right side of my blog to make all your blog reading experience a safer and more enjoyable one. So now that you are equipped with all these tips and tricks I shall leave you to enjoy the world in blogs in peace, may the Blogger Force be with you.

A walk down memory lane

I have always believed orkut to be nothing more than an antiquated messenger and a device lots of people use to 'make friendship' with others with an unlimited internet connection and time on their hands. So I was absolutely overjoyed when I found one of my very good friends from school on there. Even though we were good pals from school somehow as we charted different routes through different colleges we kind of lost touch. The area codes in our respective places changed somewhere down the line as a result of which I had lost touch with him for almost 8 years now (stop doing the math, I will tell you my age, all you have to do is ask :) ). So anyways I had tried to get in touch with him again but with no success till a week back when I suddenly found him on orkut via another school friend's list and surprises of surprises he was settled here in USA itself (and yes I will hunt you down if you come looking for me on orkut :) ). We spent an hour catching up on the phone but you know how it is when you meet an old friend after soo long. Lots of questions pop up into your head as soon as you put the phone down and so I was kinda kicked to see him online on my messenger today. After some usual chit chat consisting of exchanging pleasantries, long debate as to who of us was a bigger (in his words) kam_ _ _ at school and an unsuccessful attempt by him to hook me up with his current girl room mate, this is where the conversation veered to.

Me: Hey your brother's name was Sudipto right?
Him: No ways how do you remember my brother's name, that is crazy man.
Me: Baap ka naam P.K.Ghosh (imagine a Big B Agneepath hangover)
Him: Damn you have a good memory (and yes I am freakishly freakishly good when it comes to such things)
Me: Your dad was a heart surgeon at Apollo hospital
Him: Give up man I didnt even know I ever told you this stuff. Lets see if you can tell me my Mom's name
Me: Kyun tujhe apni Mummy ka naam nahin pata
Him: @#$#$#*&#@@#$$% Hahahahahahahahahaha, tu kabhi nahin sudhrega
Me: You should have seen it coming
Him: Yup I should :)

And I couldnt stop laughing for the next 5 minutes, damn its good to catch up with old friends.

I voice my RESERVATIONS

We can’t hope to compete with the best in the world with only 51% of the best possible work force representing the face of India.
If there’s anything worse than buying you way through education it’s eating up deserving seats just because you have a certain last name.
A glaring example of what protective reservation does is the state of Indian economy before the and after the 90’s.
Sure enough we all love a heartwarming underdog story of rags to riches but only when the person swims against all odds and not in a protected channel while the competitors are left to drown elsewhere.
Reservation is just another way of the government showing some pity love without sounding offensive.
I am not totally convinced I would someday like to go under the table for a doctor whose only qualifying achievement was being born in a certain household.
If the Government was really serious about increasing the seats in various colleges why not open special colleges and schools to provide seats for students they are bent upon providing these reservations for.
If my future was gift wrapped and given to someone else not because I wasn’t good enough but because the Government wanted to get some votes in the next election I would be embittered and burning like the rest of INDIA right now.

Walletary retirement

Welcome to my world, be my guest as I walk you through my life. Born a bastard child just like so many of my brothers and sisters churned out by the hundreds as if out of some factory. I was handpicked by a certain someone who was looking for some company on route to a new phase of his life in the USA. I of course didnt complain getting to step out of my compartmentalized world and tired of seeing the same bored faces staring at me everyday as some object of desire. Initially I was in the company of some Indian family, nice bunch them. Even though mostly old and crinkly they were a warm lot and got around well. It was somewhere around then that I met Mr.5ver and he has kept me company to date, some even say that he was kind of lucky for a certain someone and and that was what got him unlimited immunity. Have you ever wondered why I shouldnt be the single most important object in everybody's life? After all most people's strive through most of their life trying to make me fatter, in fact I am the most powerful object in the world after all (well of course if you discount the rumors that I cant buy love or something to that effect). Damn I digress, so anyways as I moved to USA I got company of the Greens. Also those cards swamped and jostled around for spaces and it was a crowded lot in there. A certain Mr. Photoid moved in too and that increased my importance significantly as I was whipped out every single time HE wanted to have a good time. Along with those cards those Greens have multiplied over the past three years so much so that I might just be replaced. Yeah from being 'The One' to being 'The other One', cant say I didnt see it coming. HE claims due to some sentimental bullshit I wont be unceremoniously put down, just retired to the dark recess of a solitary confinement.

ONE 5 O

As he stared at the packet addressed to Mr.ethan hUUnt for the tenth time in the last 10 minutes he knew he had a choice. He knew they had many other agents to pull the dirty jobs while family men like him were left alone to live their family lives. At the same time he knew it must have been really urgent for him to have been given a call up. He took a deep breath for one final time and ripped the packet apart knowing that there was no looking back. He found a Pod and sure enough as he powered it on he heard a familiar voice reach his ears. 'Mr.Hunt your mission now that you chose to accept it is to take down Nahor Ramuk, an African dictator, thorn in the American flesh for many years as he has subjected his country to a reign of terror. He shall be visiting Chicago next week to give a speech at the UN office to the global media as he defends his administration. You are to take him down with the minimum of attention and without leaving any signs of American involvement. Good luck for mission ONE 5 O and as always this mission will self destruct in 5 seconds.'

Damn he always hated this part he thought as he ducked under his table for cover barely having time to pull out the rest of the contents of the packet which curiously happened to be 6 common quarters. As he re emerged seconds later he was happy to see the contents of his room had not been rearranged by a sophisticated charge and the Pod had just turned off, permanently of course.

Sure enough on the designated day Ethan arrived at the media meet held on the top level of a recently inaugurated high rise. He pondered upon the task at hand as he walked through heavy security. He hadn’t even bothered with a weapon knowing fully that there was no way he would get it past the guards. He had decided to be Clark Kent from The Planet living out one of his fantasies and he smiled to himself at the big joke for the fifth time today as e seated in the 3rd row of the conference. The general seemed like a reasonable man Ethan thought as he sat out listening to his model for establishing democracy in the failed state but then these politicians always have a way with words. After he got finished with his speech he started to field some questions. This continued for another hour before they finally broke for restroom break. Ethan sensed his chance and he followed the general as he headed to the restroom. As he came around he corner he saw the doors being blocked by the general's bodyguards. He got past them after a very thorough security check and as he entered the restroom he finally weighed in his options. He thought about taking him down one on one but he didn’t really fancy his chances against another man who had been trained in the business of killing. As his mind raced against time he scanned the area. It was massive, which went against him because he had to get it right the very first time around, no second chances. Damn he was really up against it this time he thought as he walked past a vending machine. It was when it all seemed crystal to him. He scourged around his pockets and came up with the 6 quarters noticed for the first time how their corners were tagged with some red ink. He walked up to the vending machine and dropped in the 6 quarters. The machine whirred as the top deck began to move out. The first 3 candies popped out and sure enough hidden behind them was carefully planted automatic weapon. He whipped out the loaded weapon waited for the general to step out before he shot him once, in the space between the eyes past any hidden bulletproofs. He barely had time to jump out of the only window before the bodyguards broke into view. He counted 3 seconds before deploying he deployed the chute that he had worn tucked under his tux. As he sailed to the ground he whipped out his cell and texted out one last quick message before tossing the phone up in the air. Too bad no one except the recipient got to read the message which said 'Mission ONE 5 O accomplished.'

And so it continues ........

A trip down into the memory lane of old posts dug this out and paved the way for this post.

Sally: Awritee Mr. Wannabe funny guy consider this your lucky day.
Harry: Ouch lady is it just the morning air or are you always this cold?
Sally: So how often do you go around asking out waitresses?
Harry: Well lets see Mondays and Fridays, Sundays if I am doing overtime. What about you? What do you do besides running errands on rainy days and joining complete strangers over breakfasts?
Sally: Well you see with customers like you there isnt time left for much else.
Harry: Have any time left for your boyfriend?
Sally: Now that's a loaded question, hope you dont intend to spend all day digging up my history.
Harry: Didnt know you had all day for me.
Sally: As a matter of fact I dont actually and that's why I gotta head back to my shift now.
Harry: If you insist, well have a good day and take care of your boyfriend's girlfriend for me.

Was good while it lasted

All good things must come to an end or so they say, but instead of mulling over the impending end I guess we are better off appreciating the great run they had and how good it was while it lasted. This post is dedicated to one of my favorite music directors from Bollywood who have always had a bunch of songs on my playlists as I was growing up. The broke into Bollywood when music was beginning to make its presence felt after almost a decade and a half of dying a slow death at the hands of mindless action flicks courtsey the angry young man who was no longer so young. Although they had been composing for a lot longer they hit the big league in 1992 with hits like Khiladi, Raju Ban gaya Gentleman and of course JJWS. Pehla Nasha was a huge huge smash and it is always a pleasure when it plays up on my shuffle every single time. Their next stop was Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na one of SRK's best performances to date with the evergreen hit Deewana Dil Deewana busting charts in all countdowns. The followed it up next year in 1995 with their biggest smash in DDLJ. Tujhe dekha to ye and Mehndi Laga Ke still sound as fresh as they did the first time around when I heard them at schol when love fever was sweeping across the nation as ppl did come and did fall in love. They had a couple of quiet years following this big effort but they still found time to compose some of my favorite numbers with Baahon ke Darmiyan from a very underrated Khamoshi and Ek Din Aap and Chaand Taare from Yes Boss by them. Their music really hit the roof in 1998 as they churned out one hit after another in Ghulam , Jab Pyar Kisi Se Hota Hai, KKHH, Pyar Kiya To Darna Kya and Pyaar To Hona Hi Tha. Opinions may vary but barring some compositions like Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and a few others you could sense they were past their peak at that time. While they managed to churn out some lilting numbers like Mujhe Raat Din, Is Deewane Ladke Ko and Tune Mujhe Pehchana Nahin and some numbers from Mohabbatein I thought they got back to their kind of music with Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani but unfortunately the movie was a washout at the box-office. They started losng their prominence in the industry and even had to share composing credits in K3G. SRK showed is faith in them by retaining them for their home production and they repaid it by chalking up another great score for Chalte Chalte with numbers like Chalte Chalte and Tauba Tumhare ruling charts. The bagged Hum Tum on the basis of their performance and showed they still had what it took to compose ageless music witht the title track from the movie. However trouble was brewing apparently between the two and creative differences forced them to announce their split in 2006 while releasing their last composed piece of work Fanaa. If you have managed to lay your hands on the album you shall know that they have decided to go out in style stamping their class all over the album with tracks like Chaand Sifarish and Dekho Naa. All I can say its been great having this asociation with you and thank you for all those hundreds of songs and all the millions of memories associated with them.

Blogfessions

I was very dissed when I couldn't get the url meagainstmyself.blogspot.com for my blog.
I actually had to check the spelling of 'catharsis' before titling my blog.
I used to be paranoid at one time of someone hacking into my account and deleting all my posts.
That multicolored square at the bottom of my page does let me know who all are visiting my blog.
That figure for the number of hits is slightly bloated by my visits to the blog.
I find it very hard to let go of my last posts.
I wait around anxiously checking my post every 5 minutes till I see the first comment on it.
If it wouldnt have been for totti 148 thoughts would have died a quiet death within this restless mind of mine.

Food for thought ... or thoughts for food

Sorry has gotta be one of God's most fascinating creations or something made in devil's own workshop.

With an appreciative audience in place ........ lightening can indeed strike the same placetwice.

C (N,2)

People, billions of them going about their own lives who would appear as queer lil dots for someone watching our lives from a distance. These dots move about in their predefined spaces. Some of these dots dare to dream big and they step up the rung to get noticed by other dots often leaving behind trails people fondly refer to as legacies. These dots go about crisscrossing with other dots. In fact do we ever realize how many lives we touch or could touch in a single day. Come to think of it say there were N people in this world of ours and everybody met everyone a simple math would put that number close to C(N,2). However that's would a case of exalted exaggeration. But still we do cross so many lives without ever bothering to think about them. Come to think of it you would cross the paths of hundreds of new people every single day and you wouldn't ever get to know them save for a stray road accident, a dropped wallet, a misdialed phonecall etc. As a kid it always fascinated me to just observe people and try to imagine what would be going on in their lives at that particular moment. So even as I drove around with dad on the streets, I used to just observe people sitting up in the back-seat. Now don't imagine me as one of those weird 'Haley Joel Osment' kinda kids but then I thought it was a great way to kill time to guess and second guess people. To try and imagine what their professions were, if that scowl on their faces was due to a bad day at work, whether that radiant glow was a ' it's not Dove, it's LOVE' statements etc. Often I would just smile at faces passing in cars wanting to get someplace they didn't want to be in the first place, at faces bracing up for the worst waiting around in the doctor's waiting rooms, at faces eager to shout at me for no fault of mine because they were shouted at by someone for no fault of theirs recently. More often than not these faces would break back at you with a smile. Try it doesn't cost a penny and you will get to hear a 'Thanks for making my day' more often than not.

I really dont know what the hell I am talking abt

They say life is governed by the choices that you make. Every person comes across an infinite number of choices which shape his or her life in infinitesimally different ways. Out of every choice made a 'could have' is born, which creates many 'might have been' parallel universes. Come to think of it your reading of this blog is a conscious choice that you are making right about now. I know a lot of you might argue that point saying I just happened to stumble upon here and et all but the fact is here again right about now you have a choice of leaving this post right HERE. So as I read this out to a fractured audience I would like to ask you do youreally think made a difference by chosing to be a part of a group that reads this post in its entirety. Would your lives really be any different as a result of this choice or would you just go on now with your usual run of the mill lives? Also I am guessing that almost all of you that did start reading this post have gotten around to the very end. So does it really mean that we actually do have a choice or is it just a fuzzy little thought by which we humor ourselves.

ET
ETA
eat
eta
Te
Edit...
Revert to "et"

again
Agni
aging
gain
gin
Edit...
Revert to "agin"

choosing
chasing
cheesing
cosing
hosing
Edit...
Revert to "chosing"

entirety
entity
entreaty
entirely
introit
Edit...
Revert to "entirity"

Let it fly

A recluse who would love to meet the whole world
A traveller at heart who hates change
An eternal optimist who dislikes risks
A futurist who loves the tool of retrospect
I surprise myself at how the smallest of things
Will make me a picture of gloom or a bundle of joy
A complete lack of mystery makes the enigma
What you see is what you get with me
Still today as these words fly
I wonder aloud Who am I?

I heart NJ

The fact that the gas prices have hit the roof is common knowledge for all US residents but I never knew it would be the new topic of my latest blog title so soon. Well anyways I had been putting off filling my tank not being pleased at what I used to see up on the price charts everyday. I was banking on my reserve 2.5 gallons to get me back home today from work when Mr.Murphy jumped out from his grave to give me another discourse on his most famous theories. My car just stopped midway on the road and I barely managed to pull into a side street which had a sharp incline as a result of which I couldn't even park by the side of the street properly. As I hoped it was just an outta gas problem I called up the Mazda roadside assistance who after a tonne of questions (the best way apparently to deal with a roadside EMERGENCY) told me help would be on the way in 75 minutes. As there was not else to fall back on I decided to patiently wait outside of my car by the sidewalk. As I waited I was amazed to see the number of people who slowed down looking to see if I needed help. A lot of them almost screeched to a stop before driving on reassured by a wave of the hand from me. A lot of them just gave me a 'Hang in there' smile. I must say I was very touched by all the concern and love shown by everyone (especially all the hot chicks). It also goes on the warmth and human side of New Jersey a state that is often ridiculed for not being the prettiest or richest. This really really cute girl even offered me a ride to the next gas station after pulling her car by. I had to refuse coz of that darned roadside assistance I had called up and also coz otherwise I would have been sub-consciously praying for my car to break down every :). All of it ended well as help came in the form of this Mexican guy who kept calling himself 'AAA help' (his only English words btw) for some reason. He filled me up with gas and asked for a fiver very matter of factedly (well forgot 'Five dollars' also counts as English). I gave him the money being overjoyed at the fact that my dear car was up and running again and also coz in some way he reminded me of the postmaster back in India who used to ask for cash as their birthright after delivering a money order or a letter bringing in good tidings.

My world this week

With just about 12 hours of sleep in the past 80 hours crisscrossing across 4 states my current state of mind is getting pretty close to being a big BLUR. The past week has been a real tight squeeze coupled with the lack of sleep I am sitting feeling like I am sitting inside a giant floating bubble that I am hoping doesn’t go down anytime soon. Its been a week where I have sampled the best of what the corporate world had on offer, putting up at the classiest of hotels, sampling the finest of foods and sipping the finest of wines. Its also been a week where for the first time in my life I have realized how muchI can long for home cooked Indian food after this time I reached a breakpoint while dining at a restaurant, when my body simply refused to take in even a bite more of that food. It’s been a week where friends from all corners of USA united back at Penn State for one a common religion that has come to be known as cricket. We had a good run finishing runners up but as they say ‘You never win a silver medal, you always lose the gold’. But no regrets we probably lost to a hungrier opposition who would well to keep the trophies polished for us for the next year and remember the fact that ‘People do get third time lucky all the time, its just tougher to pull off a threepeat’ ;)

Excuse the randomness of this blog, I am kinda groggy even as I type these words out.